Loving Myself and Discovering the New Me!

Along my journey to know myself, one of the inevitable questions that frequently crops up is "Who am I?"

What happens if, one day, my title as a reservoir engineer were stripped away, what would I be? What would I do? What if one day I wasn't a reservoir engineer anymore, what would that leave me with then? 

When I was a workaholic, I was often fearful that when my job was stripped away from me, I would be left with nothing. I would be defenseless, helpless and lost. I would have lost all my identity and my sense of self-worth. 

As I travel on a journey towards healing from workaholism, I realize that my job is just a profession. It is something that enables me to feed myself and provide for my family. Nothing more than that. It is not a battle that I must win every round. Neither it is a calling that is worth dying for. Nor a profession that requires countless sacrifices of quality time with loved ones or myself. A job is just a job. Once I'm out of office, it's time to switch off and focus on investing in myself and my loved ones. 

Yet,  one of the most important questions as I crawl out of the dark workaholic pit is "How well do I know myself? What do I really like? What do I really love?"

Before I can fully appreciate life, I must know myself on a deeper level first. 

And so, I embark on yet another journey of self-discovery. 

What have I found so far? 

I have a very strong spirit of determination. Once I set my mind on something, I will make sure I finish it. I am focused and I will persevere, despite all odds. No doubt about it. I will cry (but the tears seem to decrease as I grow older). I may moan (it's decreasing too, as I begin to accept setbacks as part of life). But I will always find a way out. It must be the Chinese fighting spirit. Or a basic human instinct for survival. We are a tough bunch of human beings! Fighting against all odds to prove ourselves or just for the fun of it. Just to prove to ourselves that it can be done. Most of all, to tell ourselves that "Yes! It can be done! Nothing is impossible!"

I am emotional. I try to be less emotional these days. Yet, being less emotional doesn't mean being indifferent or being less thoughtful about the needs of others; or be cruelly insensitive to others. It just means being able to view the actions of others objectively, not judgingly or begrudgingly, but with a wide 360 degrees overview or perspective, and deciding the next best course of action. Being able to put ourselves in other people's shoes, understanding their background, their insecurities, their worries and how to allay their fears. It is not about winning battles. But winning hearts! And how do we win hearts? By understanding basic human needs. We are not machines. We are humans, with feelings. 

I love to be paid compliments. Who doesn't? I love to feel pretty and look pretty. I love to have long, wavy, smooth and silky hair. I love to be petit so that I can fit into all the nice and lovely dresses! Therefore, I will watch what I eat. After all, we are what we eat, ain't that right? I remember when I first went to Paris, I was shocked to find that there was not a single 'fat' person in sight. Everybody was so slim and so fit! Unknowingly, as I followed the French diet, I gradually lost 1 kg a month! When I came back to Malaysia, I realized that food here was so oily and so sweet and so spicy! I found that the spiciness assaulted my senses. The oily food made everything so greasy .. everything I ate coated my lips and cheeks with layers of oil, during and after intake. Every dish contained sugar, Literally everything. And so, I resorted to preparing my own lunch, which resulted in me looking quite 'freakish'. haha! 

After all, if I could afford to eat outside, why prepare my own lunch? I invited a lot of questions. "Are you on a diet?" "Oh! It must be the French influence!"

Little did I know I, too have changed my taste buds, unknowingly. And now, I rather like this new me! Less oil, less salt, less salt, less sugar. I love it! I feel lighter and more active! I can even jump up in the air spontaneously! It feels good! Therefore I will stick with my diet. 

It feels especially good when I can wear a size "S" and see my waist in the mirror. *wink* 

I love challenges. I love to solve problems and come up with solutions. I like the rush of adrenaline and the sense of accomplishment when a hard problem is solved. It just goes one step further to prove that I have passed another mental, emotional or physical barrier. One of the greatest part of this ten-month Sabbatical leave is that I learnt that barriers only exist in our minds. If we put our hearts and minds into something that we really want, and pray really really hard and put all our effort into getting it, we will eventually get what we want. Most of all, I learnt that we should not let fear define our lives. Since then, I tell myself, "For God's sake! Go out and live! Get a life! Don't always get stuck in your fears and worries.  You will never advance forward this way!"

"Go on!" I nudge myself, bit by bit. I urge myself to take that one step forward. And the rest, as they say, is history. The most important part is that courage to step out without knowing what's out there. It may be empty air, it may be solid wood. The thing is, I will never know until I step out that there might be a parachute I never knew existed in my backpack, or an invisible bridge in front of me, or a deep gushing waterfall to cushion my fall. Regardless, I will feel so alive because I jumped and I survived! I'm alive! I like to feel alive! I don't like to merely feel that I am existing or to hear my heart beating , thup, thup, thup, with a steady rhythm. I like to feel excited and to feel all my senses opened up. Suddenly I look at the world with a new sight, I hear the world with a new perspective, and I think from a new dimension and I speak with an angle that I never thought I'd be able to! I like to feel refreshed, renewed and rejuvenated. And I can only feel that if I jump without a net. 

Isn't it dangerous? I used to think so. But a friend recently reminded me, that the only fear I  should have is of God. And if God is with me, He will deliver me. Therefore, I will not fear of everything that is to come. 

I love to express my thoughts. I love to talk. I love to put on a little act every now and then. I can't stand to see people being in the dark or being pushed in a corner like a cornered rabbit. I like to help people out. I believe it is my duty to help others to crawl out of that dark hole. I did it therefore I will extend that hand to help them out when they need it. Really. It's not about climbing that crazy wheel that seems like a ladder which ends up at the same spot regardless of when and where you climbed it. It is about helping people to find joy in what they do so that they can excel at what they do and believe in the higher purpose of their jobs. It's a meaningful job and I love it! Seriously! I can't express how much I like it. Thus, I like to give presentations which gives people an "Oh! Ahah!" enlightening moment. I like to see light bulbs being lighted up one by one. "Ting, ting, ting!" and suddenly, the world seems so much brighter and happier! 

I like to invest in myself too! I have found the benefit of doing activities that actually make me feel alive and happy. It's infectious. Once I'm happy, I interact more positively with the people around me too! I'm more sensitive to their needs as well. Suddenly, I'm not that heartless mercenary or working machine anymore. I'm human. I'm able to empathize and sympathize with others. I am able to feel for others. I am human and it feels good. So, nowadays, I take the time to indulge in the Word of God, to exercise early in the morning. I even took up fencing lessons! Just to increase my agility and decreasing my fear of conquering the unknown. 

I also like to dream! I like it when I have lots of room of creativity, especially when everybody else around me are lost and I like the freedom to create wonder! Like Petrosains! I like to dream about possibilities and ask questions like "Why Not?!" I like to think about endless possibilities and never about impossibilities! Because thoughts of possibilities opens doors and impossibilities blinds one's sight, mind and ears! I won't even entertain any negative sentiments in my world. It may creep in silently, quietly. But once it is there, I will burn it up, vanquish it and banish it, never to be seen again. 

My favourite colour is white. My favourite handbag is white. My suit is white. My dress is white. I like white so much so that when I dress in white, I feel so happy and I feel on top of the world ! Of course, I like colours too! I have red, black, purple and blue dresses , but none of them beats white. There is a certain sense of tranquility and purity that white brings along with its presence. I may fall in love with other colours for a season or two. But I will always fall back to white after I've fallen out of love with other colours. In fact, I'd love it if I had white hair all over my head. I think it makes me look wise beyond my years! That's how much I love white. 

I love to go outdoors too! I love to be with nature because I think it has a lot to teach us, about the ecosystem and world in general. It's great to see how flowers can co-exist in peace with trees, butterflies, birds, deers and elephants! Even lady-birds and caterpillars and leeches can live in the forest happily. Everybody just goes about their own business without knocking into each other. Isn't that great? 

In my world, it is exactly like that. Happy people who look after others when the need arises and doesn't encroach into others' niches. People who respect each other's private spaces. Tranquility. That's what it is. It's not about tolerance or compromise. Because to tolerate means you're just hanging onto your thin string of patience even though you can't stand it. And to compromise means to be able to give in, despite you wanting a little more of it. Instead, we should know ourselves and know how much is enough for each of us. It's about being contented and not taking more than we can have or take. Not about fighting for that extra piece of cake just so we can have more on our plates. Peace. It's about knowing ourselves, how much we truly need and what we truly stand for. 

Perhaps, that's why I am glad and delighted that I took my Sabbatical leave. I found myself and people who echoed my sentiments, who eagerly expanded my philosophy, and enriched my life. I hope I can continue to find this rich wealthy library of resources wherever I go. Yes! I will continue to open up my eyes and seek earnestly. 

Keep your hopes up and keep on wearing your magical colourful glasses, Jean! 

Take it off from time to time, but don't forget to put it on again! 

What is life?

Before I went to Paris, my favourite question was "What is life? What is the meaning of life? What's the purpose of living?"

It wasn't until after several months after living and trying out all things available in and around UK/Europe, it finally clicked. I was having a good time with my friends, laughing freely without any inhibitions whatsover that I finally realized that Life is about Living, Laughing and Loving. 

To live - means to live in the present. Not in my computer, my blog, my phone, my melancholy, my thoughts, my past, my future or my dreams. It means enjoying and fully being in the present, appreciating what we do have at the moment and letting people around us know that we love them, we are thankful for them and we really, truly appreciate them appearing in our lives. 

To laugh - to laugh from the heart. A delightful, hearty laughter. Not faked, obliging, pretentious, bitter, or sarcastic. Not smirk or mock. A downright emotional laughter that will last even when you think about it while lying on your bed, you will be smiling and laughing thinking how blessed you are to be surrounded by people who love you and accept you for who you are, despite your flaws. 

To love - to be able to give and receive graciously. Not giving out of gratitude, or to return a good deed, or because you don't want it anymore, or because you have lots to spare. Giving because you just feel like giving, or you think they'd need it, they'd like it, they'd love it, they'd appreciate it. Giving from the heart. And of course to be able to receive graciously too! That's what I learnt. Not to reject compliments but to receive it cheerfully. Not to reject food which has been planned and prepared the whole day but to accept it with compliments. Not to reject offers for help because it will definitely lighten your chores. There's no secret to love, is there? All it needs is a little compliment said with a smile and a glint in the eye. 

This, is life. Don't complicate it. Don't go second guessing the motive behind each and every action of the people around you. It is not only harmful to you, it is also tiring and exhausting. Besides, it doesn't harm to tear down that wall and extend your trust. After all, without trust, there would be no real relationships. Don't build high walls just because you've been hurt. Trust may come with a price, but trust anyway. With trust, comes goodwill; With goodwill, comes friendships; With friendships, come love. So, trust. Don't be hostile. Don't be evil. Don't be wicked. Trust, and it will all be well. 

Yet, we must trust wisely. Don't be simple minded. Don't be gullible or too naïve. Be shrewd. Be wise. Be gentle. Be focused. You've come a long way to be where you are today. Don't let a few dim moments of setbacks define your future.  

The lights in our lives may blackout every now and then but God sends his angels in to light it up again! 

:)

Therefore, take heart, cheer up. Life is on its way of becoming better and better!

Lost! Seeking A Place of Belonging...

Since coming back to Malaysia, I have a strong urge to revert to an old mentality. It's the constant striving to be like others. 

"I want to be like my brother, who constantly treats my mum like gold."

or

"I want to build up my skills like Mr. R, who knows theory like the back of his hand and is practical and artistic, like Antoni Gaudi, the architect of Sagrada Familia and many other structures!"

"I want to be like E, who is calm and smiling all the time, who doesn't seem to be affected by any events."

"I want to be good in financial management, in economics, so that I can manage my own money wisely."

Then I remember my dear friend, Naomi, telling me, "Jean! We are women. We can't expect ourselves to be like men! We have emotions, that's a fact. and we must use it to our advantage. Don't try to ignore it or dismiss it. It's what makes us human. It's what fills us with the maternal instinct. Don't be something that you are not. Let your skills develop naturally. They will come with time. Just take it one step at a time. Don't be in a hurry. Time is your friend. Time is always here for you."

Ahh... It is just so comforting to know that "It is all right to be myself. " 

Despite me knowing who I was for the last ten months, I find my knowledge of myself slowly eroding and corroding. It is as fast as my hair loss rate, 30 strands of hair per day. 15 in the morning and 15 in the evening. It is too fast. I can't afford to lose myself anymore. 

I need to stand up for myself and stand up to others. I need to protect the little room that I have, my little sanctuary. It is the only thing I have to myself right now. 

I miss laughing. I miss singing. I miss composing my own songs. I miss being who I am. I miss doing what I love and what I want.I miss going outdoors studying geology. I miss my quiet time. I miss my friends.I miss going for walks. I miss the fresh air. I miss fresh fish. I miss the open air concert, the free weekly chamber orchestra, jazz music performance. I miss the market. Oooh! I miss macaroons and the splendid chocolât chaud! 

Oh God... please help me to find my own tune here soon! Otherwise, please send me back or somewhere else. I just desperately need to be myself. 

I may hide and put on the hide of a lamb. I may change my wardrobe colour to brown or black even though I love white all over, from head to toe. I may change the tone that I speak just so that it is considered appropriate but you know it's not from my heart. I may change my words so that others' eyes do not pop out when they hear my revelations. But deep down, you know, it is not me. I am just being what others want me to be. I am not myself. This is not me. This is just what others want to see of me and I am so fed up of playing this role of the ever-obliging person, ever-complying person. I need to feel myself and be myself. I want to feel my brains moving, my limbs active and every part of my soul vibrating with passion and action. 

I need to revive my dreams and desires. They may all have been fulfilled. It is time to find new ones. Don't let others influence you. Don't let others tell you what to think, what to feel. You are the only person in your shoes who knows what it's like. If you don't fit in here, migrate. move. It is never too late. Others have succeeded, you can too! 

Jean, never fear. do not fear. You are well equipped. You just need a head start and you've got it. Just keep the momentum going. Keep on running. Never stop until you have found a place where you truly can be yourself and settle down. 

Right now, know for sure, that it is definitely not here. 

(I find that people here are too quick to judge and easily offended. Rarely is anything taken objectively. Everything is viewed with an either/or, yes/no, right/wrong perspective. Nothing is ever in-between. Neither-nor does not exist. Lukewarm is unacceptable. You have to be either hot or cold. Tolerance is compliance. Speaking out is Rebellion. Compliance is giving in. Giving in is losing out. Fight but not outwardly. Fight an invisible battle. Defend an invisible struggle. Speak behind closed doors. 

What happened to "Say what you mean, and mean what you say?"

All values are eroding, all principles are breaking down. I find it harder and harder to be myself. It's much more fun living in a foreign country and everybody just accepts you for who you are, even though you may be a tad too weird in their eyes. But it's ok. Everybody is strange anyway. Nobody expects you to be normal. 

That, is what I love about staying overseas. I am able to be myself without being judged from every person I interact with.) 

One Day in Paris - September 2013

So, here I am, in Paris! One of the most expensive cities in the world, after New York and London! It's the most romantic city in the world too! I'm so excited the moment the plane flies across the Paris and I start seeing beautiful rows of street lamps and buildings, dotting the skylines of Paris, like sparkling little golden studs adorning an abbaya... wow!

But wait a minute! Somehow, it is still not as I imagined it to be. The Paris that I imagined had more chalk and marble buildings, compared to bricks and steel. Hmmm... I am a little disappointed. 

When I reach the school, I'm surprised by it's scale. It's so small! Is it really famous? 

And, there's nothing in this town! It's so tiny! What's here??? 

Oh no! I can't imagine why on earth I chose to come to this place! It's small, It's in the suburbs, it's quiet.. It's a far cry from Dubai! 

Then I remember my boss telling me, " Don't look back, Jean. Whatever decision you make, stick with it. Stay on and see how it goes. Never , ever look back." 

Ok. I'll stick around to see what happens.. 

One Month in Paris - October 2013

I've been in Paris for one month now and I daren't even utter a word of French. Every time I open my mouth, I'm almost afraid a frog will leap out of my mouth, causing people to run miles away from my poor and incomprehensible French. And I thought that learning French was easy. 

I speak to my French teacher about my predicament and she advises, " Jean! Be brave! Be courageous! You speak well! Don't be afraid! Just speak!" 

I took her advice fairly well, and the next day I was at the market, trying to convince the fish monger to cut my fish into four pieces. He understood! I was delighted! Yes! 

It was also a surprise for me to find out that most of my class mates are younger than me. In my mind, I expected the Masters programme to be populated by people who has had years of working experience. But apparently, it is not so this time. There seems to some sort of exception this year. There are people who come late to class, who think they are better than others, who think they don't know anything, who couldn't care less... who, in short, are different from me, and hold on to principles which vary from me. There are not many like me. I miss my like-minded friends in Dubai tremendously. I miss my second home and my adopted parents, brothers and sisters. 

Fortunately, the things I learn are pretty new for me. I like geology. I love imagining things and how everything came to be. I love to know their chronology, their origin, their evolution. Rocks and oceans, mountains and valleys, fjords and glaciers... oh! This is exactly why I'm here! I love being out in the countryside, by the beach, studying rocks, waves and sand grains. 

There might be some ups and downs. Please, God, help me to see the upside soon! 

Just as I am embarking on a journey of emotional healing, my ex-boss calls to tell me that he will be back in Malaysia and he asks me to do him a favour. I held my end of the bargain but he did not hold on to his unspoken rule. I am annoyed and disappointed. I can't believe it! But it's expected! So, why are you disappointed? Why have your heart been cut? 

Perhaps, somehow, I hoped somewhere that he would find somewhere deep down in his heart to have the decency to do a good deed... Hmph... tough luck. It never happened. Instead, I received a stab from the front and back. Something in me died the moment I saw it. I think it was hope. 

Hope died. Life is hopeless. Where is thou hope? 

At this moment, I remember precisely why I am here. To escape from it all. To be out of the rat race. To avoid being trodden like trash or stepped on like a carpet. To avoid being squeezed dry like a sponge and being bitten on like a young deer struggling away to get from a hungry, angry wolf. 

Perhaps, as with all things, this state of fragility will soon heal too. Time heals. You just have to be patient. 

I wish. I desperately wish that the healing will take place soon. 

I need it. So, so much.

Life without Hope.. This is how my life looked like in October.. 

Grey, Gloomy, Dark and Cloudy... 

One Season in Paris - December 2013

I can't believe it! I looked at the date today and it's the 15th of December! It's winter time! From autumn to winter, it's been four months since I came to Paris! I seem to be studying most of the time and I haven't had time to visit most of the places in Paris! Where has all my time gone to? 

I think I know... 6 hours of classes, 3 hours of main meals, 30 minutes of socializing, 1 hour of watching movie, 1 hour of skype, 1 hour of study... that doesn't leave much time for leisure reading. Oh... I miss reading and writing. 

Luckily, it's Christmas and New Year! Having two weeks of holidays really helps! I have toured Eastern Europe and visited so many Christmas markets that I can roughly know what to expect in each. Hot spiced wine, crêpes with nutella and bananas, and the hot rolling cinnamon buns, fresh from the grill pit! 

Snow is therapeutic too! I love snow! Even if I don't ski or snowboard. I just love to see them everywhere! Icicles on roof tops, tree leaves, fresh snow, untrodden snow... Oh my... I love its pure, white, soft, and fresh feeling! Even glaciers from afar and frozen lakes are therapeutic. 

Ahh.. so this is what I 'suffered' for. Work hard, play hard. When was the last time I took my time out of my job to play really hard? As far as I remember, I always had work at the back of my mind whenever I was playing since I started working. This is the first time I get to really release myself fully and play without guilt or loss of conscience whatsover. Oh my! What a wonderful feeling this is! 

Revelation: This, is what I worked for!

Is it worth it? Has the fight been worth it? And the struggles? The tears, the sweat, the pain and perhaps even a little blood? 

At this moment, as I stand on the mountain top of Fisherman's Bastille in Budapest, in the square of the Queen's Palace in Prague, in the delightful Christmas market in Vienna with cute chocolaterie and colourful, sweet delicious pastries and delicacies... I am thinking... "Oh Wow! This is so worth it! When I return to work, I will work with even more fervency. But I will do it with a difference this time. I will make sure I reach at 8am and return by 5pm. I will leave work in the office and take none of it back home. I will make sure I will take the full number of days of annual leave that I am entitled to and enjoy it to restore balance to my life, which I need. I am human. I am not a machine. I need rest. I love myself too much to let all these precious lessons go to waste. Maintaining work-life balance is a basic human right. It should not be violated. Even when deadlines are imposed."

This holiday around Europe has been therapeutic. I never thought or even knew that I needed it, until I took it. 

Conclusion: Everybody needs a break. Including me. 

It's a wonderful Christmas season indeed! It's a real Christmas this year! 

Happy  New Year everybody!!!!!!!! 

Bruge! My Sweet, Lovely town!!! 

Come! Have a hot chocolate! 

It's a monster! Ice sculpture in Bruge! 

Aww... it's in the mountains!

I love this.. ! It's so expressive!

Statue in Budapest - Self Explanatory!

Cakes in Vienna! The best cakes in the whole of Europe!

Palaces in Budapest

Frozen lake in Switzerland

Villages in the Hills

This message is meant exactly for me... 

Half a Year in Paris - February 2014

It's been six months and I am gradually coming to terms with reality. While before, I expect people to behave exactly how I imagined them to be (and as a result, I am frequently disappointed when they don't), nowadays, I am coming to terms with reality. I am taking off my rose-tinted glasses and puting on the transparent glasses. 

And I see now, that there are many kinds of people, just like that there are many kinds of data. Quiet data, noisy data, lazy data, dilligent data, punctual data, delayed data, unspoken data, loud data... 

Oh! And I just read a book about Negotiating Skills in the International Arena, how it is always not a level playing field, and the importance of finding neutral ground for everything, and learning the language of another person's culture, no matter how distinct or general they may be. The importance of understanding the individual, the intellectual, seeing their culture and understanding their background. To see each for who they are is the real value in negotiation. To be able to identify and pinpoint their true nature and to accept that they won't change (no matter how much I hope or expect them to), is one step towards victory and attaining high emotional intelligence. 

Perhaps I may have over-judged my ex-boss. Maybe I just didn't understand his circumstances, his background and what molded him to be the type of person that he was. Then again, oil and water do not mix. There are too many 'maybe-s' and I will not dwell on it anymore. I will put it all behind me and look towards the future.  

So, here's what I learnt in terms of relationships:

Not expecting people to change is key #1. 

Knowing how to gain their attention and mould, weave and wind my way around them is key #2. 

Being able to listen to the beat and dance with the same rhythm. That - is  key #3.

Play the game and life will be much more beautiful! 

Don't fear! Don't hide!

Embrace it and face it head on like a true woman! 

Six Months in Paris - February 2014

When I first came to Paris, I had high expectations and numerous objectives. I wanted to build up my technical knowledge. I wanted to take a break from work. I wanted to date for real, for once. I wanted to find myself. I wanted to know who I was. I wanted to travel around the world. I wanted to live in France. I wanted to learn a new language. I wanted to study human behaviour. I wanted to live truly away from my family - for once. I wanted to seek a life without stress and pressure from others. I wanted a life for myself, where I did not have to play any roles or accountability. I wanted to experiment with life, to do things that I never got to do in my thirty years on this earth. I wanted to do something new; to take the chance to do it all, once and for all. 

I came to Paris with the belief that once I did all of this, I would be satisfied, I would be contented. Only then, will I be able to return to my home country and be a matured adult who continues contributing to society. 

After six months in Paris, have I achieved all of these objectives? 

I can only wonder. Sometimes it seems as if it is never enough. When we have tasted something good, we only want more of it. We never stop wanting it, until we tire of it. 

In terms of technical knowledge, I think it's pretty good. I'm gradually cramping all the equations in my head that now I think I can spew out equations like the sugarcane juicing machine. I still don't like mathematics, but at least now I understand them better and I don't fear them anymore. Give me any equation now, and I can tell you its history of how it came to be so. 

Sometimes, when the equations and mathematics is too much for me, I often wonder, "Do I really want to know this much?" 

Then I remember the wife of my boss advising me, "No! You mustn't think that! The knowledge that you gain will be useful for your future job, career, company and country! So, keep on studying and pursuing knowledge and learn all that you can! Absorb as much as you can! Fill your mind with curiosity and keep your imagination running wild!" 

A person once asked me if I'd rather be a big fish in a small pond, or a small fish in a big ocean. At that time, I was tongue-tied. I wanted to be both. I thought it wasn't possible. I had learnt the hard way that usually, we can't have both things at the same time. We usually sacrifice one for the other. But now that I'm here, I think it is possible. The choice between the former and latter, is just a matter of stages and our respective phases in life. When I am young, I'd rather be a small fish, swimming happily and freely around the big blue ocean. But once I've gallivanted everywhere, all I want to do is return to the small, quiet pond and start figuring out big plans on how to inspire smaller fishes to venture out to see other colourful fishes in the ocean and somehow bring some changes into that small pond, perhaps beautifying it, enlarging it, or putting more variety into it. By that time, I would have had experienced all that life has to offer and nothing would have fazed me anymore. 

I am also glad to announce that these six months has been a tremendous time for emotional healing. I know healing doesn't happen instantly. It takes time. I don't know when it happened. But one day, after about four months in Paris, as I jogged by the river with a friend, appreciating the grass, the birds, the clouds and the flowers and the company, my resentment just dissipated into thin air, and I began to be flooded by a sense of deep, pure joy radiating around me. It was sort of a eureka moment for me. The realization that life is beautiful as long as I do not hold on to the past. By licking my own wounds, and putting the blame onto everybody else, I only end up hurting myself more. If I want to love myself, I should invest in myself. Eat healthily, stay healthy by exercising and building up long-lasting relationships. Never burn bridges. Always do the right thing. Since I am not cunning or sly enough, I might as well be the best person that I can and stick by God's principles and philosophies. 

When I was invited to another friend's house for crêpes, another for a nice, scrumptious meal of spaghetti, chicken, potatoes and salad, I knew I had experienced another breakthrough! Suddenly, I knew it. I don't form close relationships with people easily. But once I do, I am able to connect with people on a deeper level better than I thought. 

I also found out that it takes about six months for me to get accustomed to a new place, new language, new culture and new environment. I think six months was about the time I got used to the life in Dubai too. In short, six months is the duration for me to experience a turning point of my life in any foreign environment. In my first month, I may be timid and cautious. But by the sixth month, I have found out who I can trust, who I am able to mix with without any reservations, and who I am able to connect with on an emotional and intellectual level. All it takes is one single person who shows me that life can be beautiful with him/her around and I am hooked. 

I have come to accept the fact that people communicate with each other differently. I can't change people. But I can seek to understand each and every one of them so that I can communicate with them and help each of us to see eye to eye. I don't like conflict and always avoid them wherever possible. I don't like to put myself in a compromising position and struggle like a lamb caught in a barbed-wire, trying to wriggle myself out of a difficult situation. Nope. I've been through it and I never, ever want to go through it again.

I also know that deep down, I am an introvert, even though I may seem like an extrovert at times. All I need is to find 1-3 good buddies, with whom I can have heart-to-heart conversations and I would feel as if the whole world resonates with my song. Even if I had only one good friend, that would mean tremendously to me.  And usually, with one good friend, the second, third and fourth would just fall naturally into the line. 

Travelling to see a new place is also fun, more exciting and stimulating than travelling on a job. It is all very well to have the company paying you to work and play at the same time. But to mix play with work is not my vocation, as I am always trying to focus and put first things first. I can't play wholeheartedly when all there is in my mind is work! Therefore, I will ensure I take at least one or two weeks of vacation every three to six months in future and keep these days free from the hustle and bustle of daily life. 

I also learnt that while it feels really good to live a life all by myself, with no obligations whatsoever to any family members, peers, friends or colleagues, it would be more meaningful to live a life with the purpose of making a difference and improving the life of others and myself. A life involving people and my loved ones are more meaningful than a life led alone. What is life if it consisted of only eating alone or jogging alone or travelling alone? Had God created man for being alone, he would not have created Eve. We need each other. Therefore, people came into existence. Not just one man, or one woman, but man and woman, and multiple men and women. 

Of course there were times when I often doubted whether my decision to come to Paris to study was a good one.  To incorporate so many objectives at one go, is it really feasible?On hindsight, I think it is . Because I love challenges, having several objectives and long term goals only make it more exciting. Like a white-water raft floating on gushing waters down the mountain slopes, life is like a meandering river. It curves and branches out when you least expect it to.

Is it a waste of time and resources? I don't think it is. Because we only live once. We are only young once. There came a time when I wasn't afraid of jumping into the deep, cold and dark valley of unknowns. I just wanted to leap out of the burning pot. I couldn't care less about what would happen, much less about what others thought of my 'drastic' decision. I just leaped because it seemed like the only way from keeping my soul from being burnt.

We are often taught to think about the consequences of our actions. It looks like the only way to do everything. Analyze - Act - Evaluate. Sometimes, this theory is invalid in practice. There is another course of action. Look-Leap-Feel.  At one point or another, all of us need to do it, just to get the sense that we are still alive and kicking.

One Year in Paris

Oh wow! It's been a year! Time flies! 

I never thought that time would pass so quickly. Just eleven months ago, I imagined it to be crawling like a tortoise. I never anticipated the fact that I would come to love and leave the petit town of Rueil-Malmaison so soon. 

And my heart aches for it. 

Just a year before, I came to this small town and I thought, "Oh wow! This looks like Kampung Koh! Why do so many people want to visit or live in France?"

When I saw Paris, I thought, "MMm... Dubai looks much better than this. All the buildings in Dubai are sparkling and shiny, tall and muscular. The buildings in Paris look faint, faded and low. And most of them are all white."

My inner voice then responded, "My goodness, Jean! Didn't you expect this before you came here? I mean, what did you expect? Don't buy a pony and expect it to be a horse, or buy an orange and expect it to taste like an apple! They are totally different items, different creatures!"

"Come on! Don't be a spoil sport. Look around you. There must be bound to be something that you will like here."

So, that was my little self-talk back then. I initiated many activities which involved an individual - myself, or two individuals - me and my friend, or many individuals - my friends and I. It was through these activities that I learnt again how to interact with people, how to love and how to live. 

The first step was tough, though. It was finding the courage to live again. After feeling oppressed for 2 years, all I wanted to do was cry and lament. But then I thought, "Here I am in Paris! The city that everybody wishes to be in! What am I doing here? Crying? Come on! Wake up! Smell the flowers! Breathe in the air!"

I started by going for short walks along the river, which began for about 15 minutes each day and eventually lasted up to 8 hours at the end of the year. Along these walks, I met nice couples holding each other hands lovingly strolling in the quiet evenings. I saw little birds swooping down onto the river surface, looking for insects and flies. I saw ducks and swans waddling in the water. I saw fishes swimming too. I saw trees shedding off their leaves one by one as winter drew near. One week, I was too busy to notice them floating down onto the green patch of grass. A week later, I noticed the tree had lost all of its leaves! I was so sad! It seemed like my life then. Lost everything. Aimless. 

In my first two months in Paris, I began taking kick-boxing lessons, which I eventually stopped after two classes as the journey to the class was too dark, and I really didn't like being boxed, even though I loved the warming up and boxing others part. It goes without saying that being on the receiving end of endless hits and boxes is not fun at all. I'd end up with bruises at unwanted places. It was rough and unruly. I wasn't playing on level ground. Others had far more experience than me. It was not fair (Nothing ever is fair, except in school.) 

Everybody in my class was younger than me and I had trouble fitting in. I was way too serious, they were way too complacent. I would be studying everyday, they would be busy planning how to party and where to party every evening. I was itching for finding a soul-mate, somebody whom I could talk heart-to-heart with. They were mostly guys and all of them wanted football, fun and booze. I tried my best to play their game, but my heart knew I wanted something differently. We were all singing a different tune. Each trying their best to make a song in our own way. 

Then came the New Year! Yes! New batch of students have arrived! I am elated! I can't believe I found somebody I could clique with! Ahh! What a cliché! "From Russia with Love!" I love my  Russian friends. They teach me how to braid my hair the Russian style, eat Russian pancakes and loving the Russian language. I love to say "Paka-paka!" or 'Nyet!" or "Pasiba!" It sounds cute, short and straight to the point. 

When spring came, I was so happy! I began to notice little yellow and white daisies popping up from the ground. I saw bees and butterflies flying around flowers which smelled so heavenly sweet. I began to see figs, oranges, apples, cherries and lemons popping up and increasing everyday! Each flower had their own specific aroma. It was just so fun picking every one of them just to smell them or even look at them. A pleasure to the eyes indeed. 

Ahhh.... Looking back I began to realize that our lives are full of ups and downs, like the mountains, with peaks and troughs. But they will remain green forever and ever. So does my heart. My life may have many happiness and sadness... but it will always hope and trust in God. It is God who sustains me, who loves me and leaves me never wanting anything else. He keeps me fulfilled. He keeps me safe. He protects and delivers me from all evil. He is my guardian angel. He is my protector and my saviour. Therefore, I will not worry about anything. 

Nowadays, I am afraid of nothing. I am just thankful that I am alive and God has called me to his side. I am glad that he finds me useful in a way and glad that I have found my calling - to be a reservoir engineer. I love my life. I will never let anybody influence or control it again. True liberty is being free of all bondage and pressure to oblige, to conform, to bend and yield to the will of others, to be able to truly say what you mean, and mean what you say without fear of being offensive or hurtful. It is the ability to receive criticisms with grace. To reject myths and beliefs about you which are based on lies and mis-perceptions. To be ourselves. 

We are the only ones who know who we truly are. Therefore we will not fear. As long as we are united in Christ, we will be strong. 

Individualism and selfishness...

Individualism. I love this word. I think I am more of an individualist than a communal person with strong family ties. I like to be independent, to make my own choices, to lead my own life, to care only about my desires and dreams without needing to care about what others want from me. 

But is being individualistic selfish? 

Some might think so. After all, according to Wikipedia, individualism places the emphasis  on the moral worth of the individual. It promotes the exercise of one's goals and desires, valuing independence and self-reliance and advocate that interests of the individual should achieve precedence over the state or a social group. 

And selfishness? It means ignoring the cares and concerns of others, regardless of consequences and their impact, just to achieve and accomplish one's own deepest dreams. Forget sympathy and empathy. Forget tolerance. It doesn't exist in their vocabulary. A selfish person puts his own interest first above the others. He does not care about how others might feel. He will push everything and anybody aside to get what he wants, and he will ensure that if he can't get it, nobody else will get it either.

Is being individualistic then equal to being selfish? I think not.

In an individualistic society, it is the concept of 'to each his own'.
In the world of the selfish, it is 'each for his own'.
In communal living, it is more of 'to live for others'.

Life is such. Take it or leave it. Today, as you hit the trigger, remember to live in moderation. You can't be absolutely individualistic, selfish or giving all the time either. Strive and seek to achieve the right mixture of balance and you will be much more healthier and happier.

In somethings it is important pick your side of the fight. But for trivial things, it is better to sit on the fence and choose the middle line. At the end of the day, it will probably be healthier for you too. Not to take things so seriously, but take them at face value. 

One Year of Learning

Lately, I realize that I am learning a lot about many things. After seven months in France, my schedule is more or less fixed. A typical week will consist of the following schedule:

• Mondays to Fridays: Classes from 9am to 4.30pm, with 1 hour lunch breaks and 30 minutes coffee and tea breaks. 
• Bible Study on Tuesdays and on Thursdays at 8pm
• French lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5pm to 6.30pm
• Preparations for French Test on alternate Tuesdays from 5pm to 7pm 
• A walk along the river on Friday evenings at 7pm
• Tour through the alleys of Paris on Saturdays (from 9am-8pm)
• Study,hobbies,and self-reflections on Sundays... the whole day

By now, my calendar is filling itself up. Oh no! What's happening? 

All of a sudden, I realize that I am on an accelerated learning curve about everything. It is as if I am running a race against time. These days, I am not only studying about technical subjects. I am also passionately studying French, human traits and behaviours, the Word of God and of course... my own self. 

I like learning. It is fun. I like to know and find out new things everyday. I like to be enlightened. I like to have my eyes opened to concepts and principles that I have never known before. I like to breathe the fresh and cool air that renews my heart and my soul with every step I take along the rocky path. I like to go 'Ooooh'. I like revelations. It is like opening new doors in my mind. I like to discover authentic architecture, which seems to be untouched by the passing of time. 

There are just so many things to learn and discover daily. I love this time of learning, right here, right now. I wish time would just stop here. Yet, I know that it wouldn't. I just have to go along with the flow. While I have found a nice quiet stream to rest in, soon, I will be flowing into a turbulent river, gushing down the waterfall into the stormy seas. Yet, I have resolved. I will not let it affect me. I will not let any circumstance affect the state of my calm beating heart. I will not be carried away by it. I will be firm. I will be strong this time. I will not waver again. 

May the Lord be with me. 

Oh-la-la! It's so French!

Before I came to France, I had the idea that all Westerners-people with an extremely fair complexion and blond hair, are the same. They are vocal and expressive. And since most of the western countries are developed, I always thought that all of them possess a solid foundation in mathematics and engineering. And so, I came to study in France, wanting to know how to express myself, be independent, be vocal and be able to verbalize my thoughts. I wanted to learn how to create mathematical equations and think analytically. 

Then, I arrived in France and found out that I had to re-adjust my expectations. I began to realize gradually that the Westerners I had in mind were actually Americans. As for the French, their culture and values are closer to Asian than I thought. 

Here, in my little Parisian school, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the French (or in general Europeans and British and Scottish) respect their peers and seniors tremendously. During conversations, they do not interrupt and frequently wait until the speakers finish speaking before posing a question or a response. Contrary to popular belief that French are snobbish, arrogant and wants to speak only French even if they know English, the French whom I interact with daily are humble, are on a passionate journey of learning everyday. They are eager to receive feedback and improve themselves.

I was also surprised to see that my French professors are apologetic about almost everything. Perhaps I have been working in an corporate organization which inculcates the American concept for far too long. We rarely or never apologize, even when we are at fault. Hence, when our professors apologized to us for speaking English in their thick French accent, or for not making things clear during their explanation, or for some simple mistakes in the course notes, it is humbling. At the same time, I am taken aback. It reminded me very much of my short stay in Japan. When some of the older generation of Japanese  found out that I was Malaysian, they gave a speech on the hurt and pain they had caused our forefathers during World War II. Are French arrogant and proud? They may be, to a certain extent, but they are also ever-ready to accept criticisms for improvement. A trait which is valuable, even more so in today's world,where logic and ethical principles and values are losing its foothold against the rapid advancement of technology. 

France is a land of manifestations and strikes. With 11 official public holidays in a year, 25 days of annual leave, regular working hours and 26 weeks of maternity leave and 2 weeks of paternity leave, citizen-friendly social security system and medical benefits, and the schedules to go on strike, the French may not seem to work a lot. My! They even have a system which supports the homeless! But behind the scenes, I know that they do work and study more than others. No doubt they may go for walks and jogs in the parks, occasional wine tasting sessions, vacations, but like others all around the world, they live like us too! They work fervently and dilligently, they manage their finances (and do not simply fling their wealth as and when they desire), plan for the future and realize the importance of educating the future generation to think for themselves independently. 

They are also often extremely encouraging when it comes to learning French for foreigners. When I first came, I spoke in embarrassingly halting French, stuttering in the translation and pronunciation of almost every word, especially words with the letter 'R', which is pronounced partially between the throat and the tongue. Yet, my friends, teachers and strangers whom I meet randomly on the streets endure my jarring French, patiently correcting my pronunciation and grammar. My French teacher even promoted me two levels up as she noticed my fiery enthusiasm for the language and determination to learn. It was truly encouraging and made me all the more eager to learn, converse, and interact in French. 

French are also very united and friendly. They are united in the sense that they like to do things together. Like any other people in the world, they celebrate birthdays with friends, have picnics in the park with closed ones, lunches with families on weekends and go on vacations with their loved ones during holidays. From them, I learnt that work may be important. But what is more important, is family,our personal lives and fulfillment.

Humour is also an important part of their lives. When something offends them, they twist it around into a joke and do not stab you with a knife right in the centre of your heart. Most of the time, both parties usually get it. It may be satirical. It is funny and true at the same time. No hurt feelings. Just the truth with some sugar and spice sprinkled all over it. The French do take things seriously, but they often inject humour into it too, even though they might take it a little too far sometimes. They may be slightly cynical, but deep down, they do care and think about the people around them. 

Once, a friend who was cycling from La Défense to her residential area got lost while navigating through the endless alleys and paths. She then stopped to ask a guy for directions at a residential area. When he found out that she was 30 minutes drive away from the residence, the guy offered to drive her back to her residence, with her bicycle in tow. Another friend who was lost about 5 minutes away from her home was offered a ride back home too by an elderly lady. As for me, when I was lost, people often offer to lead me directly to my destination by walking or end up taking me for a lovely tour around their favourite spot in the park or town. So far, it has been a pleasant experience to be lost in Paris. 

As a melancholic, I often think that I am alone in my own thoughts and beliefs. Yet, here in France, I find that there are many French who are equally as philosophical as me (or even more) when it comes to discussions about life and relationships. 

When I asked a professor if I should quit my job of 7 years and move on to a new company, he said "Don't burn bridges. Make sure you leave a legacy before you leave. After all, they have trained you up and given you a lot of opportunities to you for you to be where you are today." 

When I asked another professor ways to build up my confidence in decision making, she answered, "Have children! When you have kids, you'll be constantly making decisions. Starting from the first day they are born - choosing their names, then it proceeds to choosing their schools, their nurseries, their food... and so on. It's true! Having kids and getting married is the best thing that will ever happen in your life!"

When I told another friend about past hurt and grievances, he said, "Jean! This page in your life may be black right now but remember, you can always turn the page and it will be a brand new page which is white. You have ample space to write and draw on it. Focus on the future, focus on the hope. The black part may not be erasable, but you don't have to tear up the whole page either. A bright future is waiting for you. Persevere. You can do it. Find out what you want to do in life and pursue it. Don't give up just yet."

When a visiting consultant wanted to express his opinion about people with high IQ, he told a 20-minute story about a brilliant mathematician-entrepeneur who set up his own company and was successful in everything he invested in. The entrepeneur then decided to invest in another new area of the industry to spite a rival. But after 5-10 years, that new wing was becoming a failure. When he found out that it was non-sustainable, he broke down and wept like a child, right in front of the consultant. With that, the consultant concludedd, "Smart and intelligent people may soar and fly higher than anybody. But when setbacks occur, they may not be able to accept it with grace and know how to manage it."

So, it's funny whenever I meet my French colleagues and professors, their favourite question will always be "So, what do you think of the French?"

At that moment, a billion and zillion examples and explanations flash across my mind. I do not even know where to begin. Perhaps, the next time I am asked, I will summarize the French in the following words: friendly, philosophical, and filled with an enthusiastic zest for life. 

Bearing in mind that they do not say 'oh-la-la!' all the time.  

Springing to Life!

The signs of life are subtle... 悄悄地来,悄悄地走. It's March. It's still winter. It's cold.. but I walked out one day and saw all these pink flowers on the trees! And the houses!!! Oh my gosh... I love them!!! 

Women in Engineering

When I think of Europe, I think of it as a land of equal opportunities. That is because whenever I look at advertisements for positions in Western companies, they always make an effort to state that they are an 'equal opportunity employer'. And so, I thought, discrimination doesn't exist in this region. 

But, having worked in Dubai, staying in Paris and increased interaction with my fellow colleagues, I realize that discrimination against women exists everywhere. It is not only prominent in Russia and Asia, but it exists also in Netherlands, UK, France and US. How is it possible? Why is it still on-going? Can't it be eliminated? 

I still remember my first day at work. I struggled extra hard to understand technical terms and operations procedures of the rig, testing processes and drilling terminology. There was no manual. I had to consult and ask everybody I met on what to do in case something happened, how to make sound and practical decisions, even though it made absolutely no sense to me at all. It was tough. I remember crying on my third trip so hard because I was frustrated with myself for not understanding simple things which my fellow male colleagues caught in a few days, while I spent three to four months just understanding how each tool operated and functioned. Sometimes when I asked some of my seniors, they shrugged me off. Some answered me gruffily and begrudgingly. Only one or two had the decency to take the time to explain everything and had me understand everything in 15 minutes. That, was when I knew that I had to be independent. I made a resolution with myself to study all the books there were on well testing, did all the interpretation, write all the reports to ensure that I would understand the analysis part, even if I had no inkling whatsover on the operations part. It worked like magic. Because I had solid fundamentals in well testing, I soon understood other parts of reservoir engineering with ease. I loved it. Not too soon after that, I fell in love with my job. 

As I exchange this story with my colleagues in Paris, I realize that all of us have the same story. Some of us had worse experiences. When a young female geologist in Russia asked for a technical task from her boss, he assigned her to send his house keys to his wife in another part of a town which was one and a half hours away from the office. When a young female engineer who wasn't assigned any jobs for two months did some numerical simulation, she was chided for taking too much initiative. Another engineer in Netherlands was asked to bring coffee for her male colleagues when attending a meeting where she was the only female in the room. 

And this doesn't happen just when we are young or fresh recruits. It happens even at managerial levels. When a woman boss expresses her anger, her male employees will think that she's suffering from mood swings or hormonal imbalance. They will then relate it to her being single, or having marital problems, kids problems, etc. When a woman dresses up, they will think that she's like a Christmas tree. When a woman puts on make-up, some might think it's too thick. Indeed, men can be merciless. They even comment on a woman's perfume, hair, walking stature, sitting posture, words that she uses, anything that they can think of and comes to mind. 

And so, I struggled. To prove that I can do it just like them. To talk like them so that I would be accepted into their society. To avoid corridor talk, I had meals with different people each day and never went out with any male colleagues alone. I learnt to smile under all circumstances even when my blood was boiling and when I was seething with anger. I learnt to walk and not run, trot and not leap, smile and not laugh. I put in extra effort, to do my best to make sure that I can do it just as well as them (or even better). In the process, I lost myself and could no longer recognize who I was or what I truly wanted. 

By then, I had worked so hard to get work that I fell into the vicious cycle of running the rat race - a race that I never even imagined myself running in the first place. All I wanted at the beginning was to be acknowledged, to justify the payment of my monthly salary and to ensure that I wouldn't be fired within the first few months, to receive bad ratings or poor performance reviews. Soon, this invisible battle became an integral part of my life and I could not shake it off. 

Until I came to Paris and realized that deep down, I am still a woman. Nowadays, I realize that I am who I am. I do have mood swings. I get cranky on a monthly basis. During this time, I may deliberately ignore people or shrug them off. I may even crave for specific foods or have a sweet tooth for candies and cakes. Occasionally, I may even watch some melancholic movies or read a sad book to shed a few tears. 

Yet, when I snap out of it, I like to observe and interact with people. I like to hear their stories from a different dimension and perspectives. I like to listen to the way they crack jokes effortlessly. I like to listen to their experiences and how they overcame each of their individual challenges. I like to know what unusual hobbies they have or peculiar habits they possess. I like to laugh without a care in the world and smile as the sun rays chases the shadows of the clouds. I love the fact that I can laugh freely and happily. This - is who I am deep down: unsuppressed,  youthful, joyful, gay and happy. 

People often remark, "Hey! You seem to be happy all the time" or "Jean! How come you laugh so much?" or even "Jean! Why are you smiling all the time?" or "Hmm! You're the happiest person that I know. Whenever I see you, you're always smiling." 

Mmmm... I guess I'm happy because I'm doing what I like and I get to do what I want, right here, right now without being subjected to any form of physical, emotional and psychological oppression and suppression. 

At this moment, life is beautiful. Sometimes, we don't need a reason to be joyful. Just smile and the whole world will smile along with you. 

*Smile* 

^_^

What do you think?

So, recently, somebody pointed to a poster and asked me: "Jean, what do you think of this person? "

Frankly, I didn't know what to think. After all, I was always brought up to think, "Do not judge a person by its cover." and "Beauty is internal. Not external." As such, I rarely put in my two cents worth on what I think about others. So far, I've seen it paid off. And I've seen first hand how words may make or break a person. And I don't want others to go through it again. Therefore, Jean, keep your personal opinions to yourself. Don't be part of the Gossip Team! 

Switzerland

It's been a long time since I saw Cuckoo Clocks! I just loved to see them popping out at each hour, doing funny stuff. For example, woodpecker pecking trees or wives knocking the heads of their husbands for coming back late, or lovers dancing to the rhythm. 

And did you know that cuckoo clocks designs evolve too? Mmm.. they do! From wood to metal, from heavy weight balancing to wooden decorative weights, from wooden mechanics to metal internal parts to electronic parts.. Today, there are even cuckoo clocks who mimmick the sounds of fountains and water falls! Amazing! 

London

I just love museums! Maybe I love history, and exploring the past!

Spent four hours at the Tower Bridge Museum and Science Museum. Fantastic!

So, here's what I found out:

From the Tower Bridge Museum: 
The queen's crowned jewels weigh 20kg!
And the king beheaded people to ensure that they're absolutely dead .
Once, they even stiched the head of one of the beheaded because they realized that there was no picture of him and sent all the members of the body to every province of England.

From the London Science Museum:
The more well travelled you are, the more rounded you are.
Oxygen builds up gradually in the environment with time.
Nothing lives forever, neither body nor solid rock.
Restless in perpetuality.

From the National Gallery:
Pictures that make you think about life... how beautiful it is, how cruel it can be and how admirable it is...
1. The Forcibly Bewitched
2. The Llouvre under the snow
3. Montmarte in the night
4. The Attic Nights
5. Antwerp
6. Vienna in the 16th-19th Centuries!

From the Walking Tour:
Buckingham Palace was originally built by one of the ministers/officers in the country. Upon completion, The owner was so proud of his newly built home that he invited the King to his house. He was, in fact, so proud of his home that he asked the King, "Do you like my house? Isn't it beautiful?"

The King did like it very much. So much so that he 'ordered' the minister/officer to give the newly built house to him. And the poor officer, had to oblige. The King paid the officer 250,000 pounds (I think that was the sum). And so, that's Buckingham Palace came to be the residence of the royal family.

Then, there was this St. Jame's Palace, which used to be the palace of King James. When he built it, he wanted a fireplace in every room. As a result, the building had lots of chimneys. At that time, firewood (I think), or some sort of fuel for burning, was expensive. Hence, when people from all over the world saw the chimneys, it gave the impression that King James was a very rich king indeed.

Plus, I never knew that the Louvre was built even before 1900s! At the National Gallery in London, I saw pictures of Venice, Budapest, Antwerp, Paris, Montmart, etc of what it was like in the 16th, 17th, 18,th and 19th Century. I was impressed and fell in love with all the drawings! I wish I could take them home with me.

Paris and Pickpockets

Apart from romance and lights, Paris is also famous for pick-pockets. One day, I just forgot about all about it and lost my phone on the train to the smart pick-pocket!

And, I saw this notice too late! 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Votre telephone est precieux. il peut faire des envieux. 

Nous vous conseillleirs d'etre vigilant si vous l'utilisez en public.
(Your telephone is precious and may cause envy. 
We wish to advise you to be vigilant when using it in public.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lesson Learnt:

Don't bring things you don't want to lose , in public. If you do, make sure you are prepared to not lose it. 

I also did a probability of losing my things on the train, and I realized it totaled up to 40%! That meant anything valuable that I brought out in the public, will automatically be devalued by 40%! Well well, Jean! Remember! Keep your things in the pocket or don't bring them out! 

So far, I have lost so many things while I stayed in hotels or travelled around Europe.

I left my green rain coat in Wessex. 

I left my moisturizer in Hungary. 

I lost my phone in Paris. 

I left my shampoo in London. 

I am always losing something!

In conclusion, when going on a trip, don't bring anything you don't want to lose!