What does it mean to love?

Recently, I caught myself in a sticky situation. It took me a lot of strength, effort, boldness and courage to un-glue myself and get my home back, all to myself. It was a tough experience for me. Nevertheless, it a lesson which, hopefully, will stick with me for a long, long time. The good thing is, I learnt to ask myself, "What does it mean to love yourself? What does it take to love yourself?"

 

Here's what I found out:

 

Loving myself does not mean I love others less. It just means that I choose to treat myself better, pamper myself like a princess, and not letting others take advantage of me. I will not be a doormat where others can step in, step out , step on and step off anytime they like.

I realize now that this is my own life that I am living . I make my own choices and I am the one who calls the shots . Nobody lives my life. It is me who leads my own life. Not my parents, my siblings or well meaning people who want only the best for me, and of course, definitely not green and red-eyed people who wish only the worst for me.

I love my present life so much so that I am determined to protect it the best that I can. That means giving it the respect that it deserves; giving it the care that it needs; being wary of the people whom I allow into my life and personal space; standing up for my rights; being assertive. Sticking up for myself-because if I don't , nobody else will do it for me.

 

For that to happen, I need to be bold, confident and voice out exactly what crosses my mind and heart.

Jean, love yourself for I love you so, so much.

What about loving others? What does it mean to love others?

Loving others mean having the best interest of others at heart. It means teaching them how to catch their own fish, not fishing for them all the time. It is always encouraged for you to help them and guide them for the first few times . But can you do it forever? The answer is: No. A strong, insistent and vehement "No".

 

Physically, you won't be there to hold their hands for the rest of their lives. You can't be with them every minute of the day. Therefore, you got to let them survive on their own accord, carve out their own niche and nest.

The tough ones jump and leap up from their seats and look at every change as a precious and golden opportunity. The fearful and dependent ones will cling onto whatever they can, unwilling to step out of their comfort zones, unless you swing them over the cliff forcefully and allow them to discover for themselves the exhilaration and unknown abilities of flying in the air, as well as the wonderful feeling of freedom, unbounded by any chains whatsoever.

Loving others, also, is not proportional to being obliging all the time. Life is not a one way street. If it were, everybody would end up the same way at the same destination, regardless of their starting point. Instead, it is made up of a myriad of choices. It's a puzzle, a maze! And, that's the best part about life! It's risky. It's challenging. The fun in living is that you have the absolute liberty of determining your next set of actions. That's what makes life worth living. Making choices at each point of time, implementing it and chewing on the impact and consequences to see whether it will turn out to be pleasantly sweet to the soul or utterly bitter and indigestable that you just got to spew it all out and try a whole new set of actions once again.

So, here's what I gathered: Conventional choices equals conventional life; Unconventional choices lead to an extraordinary life at the edge and off the cliff!
 

In life, there is never a dead-end. Every path that you take leads you to survival on a whole new level. At the end of the day, if you look at the big picture, you'd realize that we're all akin to little ants working our way up towards the top, climbing the same oak tree.

 

So, don't try to push others away or kill others just because you want to be at the first. Look at history. Since the ancient times, what have you done that is new to humanity? Ultimately, what does it mean to be the richest, the best, the first? After all, there have been so many others before you who achieved the same goals. And where have they all ended up? Didn't they fall to the ground too, after reaching the top?

 

Instead, let's uphold one another in love, strengthen each other, climb up the tree together and enjoy the view from the top while we are still alive! Joy shared with loved ones are multiplied many folds, more precious and valuable than solitary happiness.

 

So, love yourself and love one another. Life is precious. Life is short. Rather than spending it in misery, fear or anxiety, it's better to let go, trust, love and see that the world is beautiful and colourful, filled with rainbows and sunshine at every corner you turn!

 

 

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For there are these three things that endure:

Faith, Hope and Love,

but the greatest of these is Love.

(1 Corinthians 13:13)

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