Relationships

In Dubai, there are lots of single men and women. Hence, it ought to be an ideal place to seek a lifetime partner/companion, or your future husband or wife. Yet, it's easier to speculate than to actually go about putting it into action. In short, it's easier said than done. 

 

First of all, this is a place for expats. Companies don't usually hire fresh graduates as expats. Usually they hire professionals with ten or more years of experience. So, if you're thirty and below, and you're here, chances are most of your colleagues will be aged forty and above.

 

Next, because it is almost impossible to gain an Emirati citizenship, most people are in Dubai only temporarily. Nobody can be here forever. This place is like a transit. Since it is the hub of the Middle East, one can easily travel to Europe, Africa, India, Pakistan, without giving it a second thought. Some transit here for six months, some even up to ten or twenty years! So, to form meaningful, long-lasting relationships is a challenge. Most of the time, when relationships start, the other party might have to leave for another place next. Everybody is so mobile here, that sometimes even though one stays in the same house, a couple might meet each other only once a month. And for them to meet, they even have to schedule appointments in each other's calendars.

 

In addition, the main aim of working here is to earn as much as possible. Many have stressful jobs which require them to work 7 days a week, more than 8 hours a day. By the time they get off work, they'd be exhausted. So, what are the chances of you forming deep, meaningful relationships with somebody? Slim. Really slim.

 

Anyway, a friend is analyzing why many are still single and here's his advice for all singles out there (especially after I did not answer his calls and he promised never to call me if I was uncomfortable with him calling just to ask 'how are you' daily, even if we are just friends).

 

If someone approaches you:

1.  Never shut the door. One should always open it (with limits of course).

2.  Treat others the way you want to be treated - with respect.

3. Study and observe people physically to form meaningful relationships. Get to know and understand the people you mix with.

4.  If you plan to take it a step further, ask these questions:

     - Where do you see yourself in one year's time, or ten years down the road? 

     - Apart from verbal communication, can you communicate non-verbally?

5.  Always weigh their actions, and give them room to grow and develop.

6.  Allow the person to reveal their true selves. Gauge for yourself if the desired characteristics are in there. 

7.  Observe ... as time goes on.

 

And these tips apply not just for looking for your future potential marriage candidates, it also applies to seeking business partners. As with all relationships, you need to see whether you can trust that person, whether both of you have the same principles, philosophies and goals, before deciding to dump in millions on a major investment.

 

Gradually, with time, as trust is established, love and zeal develops into protectiveness and jealousy.

 

Then, you'll have another issue to lament about.

 

So, be contented. Don't go stirring and poking around the burning charcoal to force sparks flying out of the bonfire. Sometimes, curiousity backfires.

 

 

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Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you,
    by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love,
    until it so desires.

(Song of Songs 2:7)

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