Monday, October 08, 2012

Cold - Frost & Chill

Beijing! Ahh! It's like music to my ears! Sounds like the ringing of sleigh bells in winter!
 
The first time I stepped into Beijing, I had the most wonderful opportunity to visit the popular tourist sites. Great Wall of China, Forbidden City and Summer Palace. I even visited the National Theatre to watch Chinese Opera! It was a great experience and I loved it! It was summer then. July - I still remember the month. The temperature was around 25 degrees Celsius , and raining all the time. In Dubai, the temperature was twice of Beijing's! So it was a great relief to enjoy the cool weather.
 
This time around, my boss issued a last minute invitation to attend yet another meeting in Beijing. She even inserted a post script at the end of her letter. "Please take note. The weather in Beijing is very cold now, ranging from 7 to 15 degrees Celsius. Pack thick clothes to keep warm."
 
Wow! I was touched! On the day I was scheduled to fly, I hurriedly went to the mall to buy a thick duck feather jacket. Then I flew, all the way from Abu Dhabi to Beijing.
 
Now, as soon as I stepped out of the airport, cold breeze brushed across my cheeks. Colour returned. I was refreshed! I am so glad I am in Beijing! Had it not been for the company of my Canadian-Iraqi colleague, I would have been leaping for joy (literally)! All the way, I did not even feel a hint of fatigue or exhaustion! In the office, I was freezing. I had to hug myself to keep warm. I even wore the duck feather jacket indoors, which seemed strange in the eyes of my Chinese colleagues. They just couldn't stop laughing over their sides as soon they realized I was was feeling super cold. The Chinese, had, after all, donned only a T-shirt or an overcoat. If you were watching this scene from South East Asia, you would have thought it was about 35 degrees Celsius too!
 
One of my long-time colleagues then taught me a trick. "Wear two more layers. A woolie with long sleeves, and a thermal wear, so that it sticks to your body, effectively insulating your body from the cold. If you just wear the overall coat, it is lose, it moves. It's not efficient in trapping a thick layer of air around your skin."
 
I got one of thoose woolies 4 days later. My! Never doubt the power of that small item. It helped, but I still felt the chill in my bones. On the 4th day, I wore a scarf around my neck. On the 5th day, I decided I needed gloves. So I went around the shopping mall, looking for wool gloves, and ended up buying two pairs of socks, 5 centimetres thick on each side. One pair for my hands, and one pair for my feet. That was because I couldn't find any gloves in the mall.

I wanted a pair of pajamas too, because my room didn't have a heater, and an air-conditioner which puffed out cigarette smoke. The sales promoter however, told me the largest size was with the waist of 26-27cm, 6cm smaller than my waist. As a result, I had to forfeit this purchase and wrapped myself in 4 layers , with a scarf, socks on my feet and hands and one really thin layer of quilt, in a freezing cold bed. I felt I was in the chiller every night!

Whenever I watch scenes of homeless people in the movies, warming up their hands by drums of burning fire in winter, rubbing their hands together when it's really cold, or huddled up in a ball, lying by the pavement in the night, shivering even though they're wearing a jacket, I didn't feel for them. It's just a movie and it's not real. It didn't strike a chord in me.

Yet, for 6 nights, as I lay on my bed, at seven degrees Celsius, pulling up my hood over my head and woolen socks up my limbs, tying the scarf around my neck,  I began to think, "Oh my gosh! So this is how the homeless feel when they're staying on the streets! It's so cold! How do they take it? How do they survive?"

The thing is, they can't! That's why so many people who are out on the streets have a short life span. On my 7th day, I began developing chest irritations. On my 8th day, mucus dripped down my nose. On my 9th day, I coughed and started splurting out green-yellowish phlegm. On my 10th day, I began feeling feverish and dizzy.

Then I knew, why there are many citizens who cough in countries with four seasons. To survive in these countries, one had to wear really warm clothings and live in heated accomodations. What if you could afford neither, or only one of the two? Do you think you can survive?

As I lay between the covers during those 6 nights, I knew, I can't. To survive in winter, both have to go hand in hand. Even if you're all wrapped up in insulated thermal wear, you'll be breathing in cold air! Your lungs will not be able to take it. Humans are meant to live in temperatures around 15-35 degrees Celcius. Beyond that, our bodies just cannot take it.

In Harbin, where the temperature reaches negative 40 degrees Celsius, teachers ensure their students swallow a daily pill which prevents swellings of joints in their limbs. It's so cold that even dew turns to ice in the morning.

As my stay in Beijing lengthened, so did empathy for my fellow humans. I got a taste, there and then, of what it felt like to be cold and not have any thermal wear or heated rooms; of what it meant to eat left over dishes in winter, even if your body yearned for hot food and all you could afford and find were these cold and pickled dishes; or why people smoked so much in winter, probably because breathing in hot smoke was cheaper than getting gas for heaters; or why some had serious body odour, because it's freezing out there, hot water is hard to come by, the bathroom is cold and you'd rather not bathe as the instant burning, soothing water pours down your neck, cold air around you turns it to ice immediately.

So, can I blame some people for being crude? That day, I learnt that I can't. Because a lot of people out there are fighting for survival. They are doing all they can to live for just one more day. Because life - it's the only thing we know. Who knows what happens after we step out of the circle of life?

"Jean!" I reminded myself. "You've got to start opening your eyes to the environment that these people are living in. It's not their fault that they're cold, conceited, demanding and dictative. Learn to feel for them. Start thawing the frost from the outside and melt the ice on the inside!"

Can I do it? Somehow, the attempts seem futile. Throw a starfish into the sea, and the waves wash it ashore yet again. I often wonder, "Why do I even bother!?! I just want to give them a taste of their own medicine!"

But you know what? They've been given the same medicine over and over again. They're immune to it by now. They need to be injected with something new. Something that the bacteria in their spirit does not identify. Something that they're confused with and are at a loss on how to respond. Infuse with love, sincerity, dignity and respect. That's the cure. Douse them, drip them, immerse them and live them. One day, they will melt, in and out, and recognize what it truly means to be alive.

With God, all things are possible. Never doubt that. You've experienced it. Others will too! It is just a matter of time. Keep your hopes up and trust in His everlasting, steadfast love for all mankind.

 

Sunday, October 07, 2012

Differences - Emulsions & Miscibility

Some people say differences divide, like oil and water. Some say differences unite, like opposite sides of magnets attracting each other. What about you? Do you think differences unite or divide the human race?
 
Me? As usual, I elect to stand in the middle on the fence. It both unites and divides.
 
Ever since I was seconded to a Chinese company, I have gained the benefit of looking at the same coin from several angles, perhaps some more than the other. To rotate my view and see things from another perspective, requires a lot of listening, questioning and communicating.
 
Two weeks ago, I fell into yet another bout of identity conflict and dejection. I voiced my concern to my boss and this is what he said, "Jean! The world does not exist only in two colours. In life, nothing is ever absolutely black or white. Remember, the colour grey exists too. There are a lot of things that you just cannot place in the black or white category. Do you know where they belong? The category - grey. You must open your eyes to see the colour grey. Discern it, distinguish it and it will make the road you're travelling on a lot smoother."
 
It reminds me of how my mum used to knock me into shape whenever she got frustrated with me for being too much of an idealist. "The world is not a bed of roses, you know." She began. "Don't look at the world from your view. Put yourself into other people's shoes and think, 'what would you have done if you were in their situation?' Life is not that simple. It's not straightforward. It's complex and complicated."
 
But no matter what I do, I always view challenges as opportunities, disadvantages as a double edged swords, adversity as boot camps. I realize that if we refuse to see the hovering grey clouds, drizzle and rain drops, rainbows will always appear and the light will shine profusely, like stars in the dazzling night.
 
I remember the first time I ever worked with Chinese, I suffered from severe culture shock. First, I realized Chinese are very reserved. While I was used to greeting and being greeted anytime of the day, Chinese arrive at the office and more often than not, head straight to their desks and do not make eye contact with any of their colleagues, say "Hi!", "Good Morning!"or "Bye!". A whole day can go by without any conversation occuring among ten employees sitting in the same office. Whereas in my parent company, we chat, eat and discuss throughout the day. A lot of times, the lines get blurred in the latter. Work is integrated into family life, and family life is dragged to work.
 
Even though team building sessions are not 'rampantly' conducted in Chinese companies, everybody shares the same goal - increasing profit, reducing cost. In a company built on Western culture, individual gain such as self gratification rather than community benefits are sought after. Surprisingly, both parties attain the same goals through different approaches. While one is dictative and authoritarian, another focuses on developing people and provides ample room for creativity and freedom of implementation.
 
With Chinese, you never know what to expect. Nothing is ever what it seems. A simple meal may turn into a business deal. A jog in the park between acquaintances paves the way for the making of a new leader in the organization. The Chinese, I realize, can switch attitudes back and forth effortlessly, like the face-changing maskman onstage. You'd never discover which is the first layer, the last layer, or the true self underneath.
 
On the last day of my stay in Beijing, as I was checking out of the hotel, the receptionist I was dealing with received a phone call. She picked up the phone and began speaking to the client in the most sweetest, pleasant and most polite tone I have ever heard. A few seconds later, she pushes the button on her walkie talkie and starts berating her colleague in a loud and irritated tone. Suddenly, the phone rings again and she resumes talking in her girly, quaint and dainty tone. Wow! She was like a chameleon, changing colours all the time!
 
It is eerily similar to the attitudes of my colleagues in the office. One minute they could be asking me nicely about the weather and my family, the next minute they throw their weight around, shout, knocking their knuckles on the tables to nail and hammer a point across. It is intimidating. It is scary. I feel as if I'm in a volcano all the time. I don't know when it will erupt. The worst part is, there are no signs. It just explodes whenever it feels like it. There's not even a slight hint or warning. Working with Chinese is like working with a time bomb, blindfolded. 'Tick, tick, tick' You can hear the timer counting the seconds, but you can't see the wire or the clock.
 
Unlike Malaysians. They wear their emotions on their sleeves. Everything is clear and laid nicely on the table. Anybody who's angry scolds their workers. And if they are really angry, they would give the victim a silent treatment. But most of the time, they're smiling, laughing and generously lend hands to damsels in distress. Not so with Chinese. They smile when they're angry, scowl when everything goes their way. 
 
These days, I've learnt not to evaluate everything at face value. Sometimes, you've got to let the events play out and plan the next move. Call it what you may: cultural differences, philosophical differences. Everybody's playing the same game of chess with different moves and strategies. I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn. May the Lord grant me wisom and understanding to figure it all out.
 

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Viva la Vida!

So, after spending ten days in Beijing, I am extremely excited to be back! Words cannot describe how much I've been looking forward to return to Dubai!
 
List of words that I've come up with while waiting for my flight at the airport:
Exhilaration, Excited, Relish, Delight, Joy, Rapture, Rejoice, Yahoo!, Yippee!
 
How about 'pleasure' and 'happy'? Oh no! Those descriptions are just too mild to describe my feelings right now.
 
Yes! Yes! Yes! I am finally going back to Dubai!!!
 
Wow! Are you so relieved that you're going back to Dubai? No more cool weather, no more bright sunny flowers, no more lush greenery... Are you really fine with that?
 
Yes! I am! I am so glad and delighted that I am finally going back! Back to the hot, sunny Dubai where I can feel the warmth from the sun and people. Back to the clean and dry streets where I won't be stepping on human oral excretion. Back to clean public washrooms where tissues, towels, soap and water are ever available. Back to a society where people speak civilly to each other and do not bark in constant annoyance. Back to a place where I can enjoy a hot cup of tea, with nobody staring at me; a place where I can jog, run and walk without fear of knocking into anybody; a country where I can surf on the web without encountering the warning, 'This site is restricted' for ninety percent of the links that I clicked (even though the information is purely technical and neutral); an environment where nostrils stinging cigarette smoke are banned indoors, replaced by fruit flavoured shisha outdoors; back to my nice, soft bed, lying on my fluffy pillows, wrapped between thick, warm layers of quilts and hole-less blankets. Back to my home-sweet-home!
 
Gosh! I am just so relieved to be back and relishing every minute of it! I am so excited that I want to run from Abu Dhabi to Dubai. I want to swim in the clear, blue, sparkling, shimmering waters of the Jumeira; place the soles of my feet on the soft, comforting sands of the Kite Beach; cook a dish of nice, simple, oil-less meal; stretch on a couch, surf websites, download papers and watch movies without restrictions.
 
Wow! I am finally back to where I belong! My niche, my home, my comfort zone.
 
I am back! And I am going to cherish every single minute of it!
 
Viva la Vida!
 
 
 
 

Friday, October 05, 2012

Fun - Humour & Laughter

I bet you knew a long, long time ago, that humour is the essence of life. Me? I just found out. Without it, how boring our lives would be! Laughter dissipates the queasy feeling welling up in us and eases up all the stress we are facing. It  loosens the tight knots that bind our lips and turns strangers into long time friends.
 
Since I have more time now to indulge in the simple things of life, I have time to engage people in conversation. These days, I realize that  the words I utter always seem strange and hillarious to others. I wonder why. One day, I was telling stories and my friend laughed 'til her jaw ached. Both of her hands held onto the jaw of her cheeks, tickled and in pain at the same time. Her twinkling eyes blinked like the stars as her eyelids shut and roared with laughter. ""Stop! Stop! Oh no! I can't take this anymore!" she pleaded with me. All the impish me wanted to do was make her laugh even more. haha.

Another time, a friend who had a dead knot in every single vein of his, smiled in absolute amazement, "Jean! I never realized that you are so funny."

Really? Seriously! I never knew too! Until I came to Dubai.

Me? I smile when I'm too shy to talk, wink when a cunning idea creeps up my head , laugh when I'm nervous, beam when I'm praised,  smirk when I'm sarcastic and burst when I'm tickled. Sometimes, when I am set on being resilient in the face of adversity, my remarks come across as being cynical. People around me get bewildered and don't know what to make out of it. Because people in general are envious and jealous of the greener grass on the other side, the best way to deflate that inflated balloon is to make a joke out of it and laugh it off.

Laughter is infectious. It's the miracle cure to life's so-called 'problems'. A problem remains a problem only until it's solved. Are there any problems that can't be solved? None. Because in God, everything is possible. So, just hang on until help arrives.

Meantime, think of all the ways you're growing because of it. When help comes, you would have recovered mentally and spiritually. Naturally, physical healing will definitely follow suit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Annecdotes:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm a person who sometimes answers without giving much thought in advance. Once, as I was walking around my office premises in China, my office mate saw me taking pictures around the park.

Curious, he asked (in Mandarin), "Hey! What are you snapping?"

Without thinking, I answered, "Snapping pictures!"

My office mate, about 30 years older than me, looked bewildered, nodded and walked away.

On hindsight, I probably gave the wrong answer. I should have answered, "Oh! I'm snapping flora and fauna! (not pictures)"

Jean! Jean! Think before you talk!

Another time, I was having a conversation with the security team at the lobby. I was elated that I was finally back in Dubai, eagerly exclaiming, with both arms outstretched, "Wow! I am so glad to be back in Dubai! Anywhere's better than Dubai!"

As I walked out of the building, I evaluated my own replies and realized that it came out sounding all wrong! How could I have said 'I'm glad to be back in Dubai' in the first sentence, and say 'Anywhere else is better than Dubai' in the next?! Oh no! There is a major flaw in my sentence logic. What I meant to say was "Nowhere can be better than Dubai!"

This must be the effect of staying in China for too long! Translating Mandarin to English, English to Mandarin, resulting in the short circuit of one of the nerves in my brains.

Oh no! I really need to buck up and think on my feet!

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Thursday, October 04, 2012

Truth - Naked & Bare

Ever thought of writing a comedy ?

Best way is to peel of layers of our masks that we've accumulated over the years, and expose the basics of human characteristics down to its very core. In short, see ourselves for who we really are.
 
Not so long ago, I was very keen on learning Arabic. I work with many Sudanese colleagues. So far, I've learnt how to say 'good morning', 'I'm fine' and 'thank you'in Arabic. So, one day, instead of saying 'tamam', I decided to learn how to say 'mir-mir (Excellent)!' , if somebody were to ask me, 'keif? (how are you?)'
 
Few days later, I got the opportunity to use it. I met an Egyptian colleague who asked me, "Keif?". and I chirped, "mir-mir!", feeling like the smartest girl in town.
 
The guy just made a straight face and went on talking to the Sudanese colleague, who by the way, is the one who taught me my new Arabic vocabulary. He interjects the conversation and said in Arabic that sounded like, "She just learnt  to say mir-mir, and is expecting you to praise her for her intelligence!"
 
He bursts out laughing, the Egyptian merely gives a tight smile. I blush from embarassment, for my eagerness to demonstrate my level of intelligence, and left humility standing outdoors in the biting frost.
 
These days, the world is turned completely upside down. We even have a name for it- civility, politeness,educated, etiquette, you name it. Just last week I was invited to a dinner at a posh restaurant. For our drinks, I ordered water. To which the waitress responded, "spring water or sparkling water?"

When I heard the word 'sparkling', images of sun beams bouncing off the waters flashed across my mind. Does she mean that the water glitters under the moonlight?

So imagine my surprise when she described 'sparkling water' as 'water that tastes like Sprite without sugar'. Oooh! It's carbonated water! Eeew! Who on earth came up with that idea? Oh my gosh!

My mum always said, "Call a spoon-a spoon, and a spade-a spade. Never call it by any other name. You'll confuse people." Which explains why I'm a pretty confused person. These days , I never know what's what anymore.

Want an example of educated society? Let me give you one.
 
A European family with fair complexion and blond hair is touring a village in India. Naturally, being of darker complexion. The villagers, having encountered them for the first time, gather around them, smile and start touching them to see if they are real.
 
Shift the scenario to the Western world. A Indian lady in a bright and colourful sari is walking along the streets of London on a sunny day. Everybody's curious and wondering,"Wow! Who's this pretty lady?" But nobody bats an eyelid. Instead, they tilt their head at an angle of one degree, with their eyeballs extended to the furthest corners of their vision, and try to sneak a peek at the lady across the street.
 
These days, we hide our desires and curiousity to fit into city-life, so much so that our true selves are beyond recognition. Many a times, we don't know who we really are and our purpose in life. Herein, lies the answer on why we need God-to reveal himself to us and from then on, we gradually get to know ourselves and fulfill  our individual destinies. Because trust me, if you don't know God, you may have all your heart's desires and you'll still feel an emptiness in your heart. Deep down, you want to know that God loves you just for who you are, not because you're somebody's daughter, a lawyer, a monk, a volunteer, or a philanthropist; nor because of your deeds, wealth, knowledge or position. He just loves. No 'if-s', no 'but-s', no 'and-s'.
 
Now, isn't that great?
 
God is knocking at your door. Are you ready to let Him in? Open it and you're in for the greatest journey of your life. Once your door is ajar, your search ends, and the journey of amazing discovery and transformation will take place right in front of your very eyes.
 

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Love - Pure & Genuine

Today, I saw a toddler about 1 foot tall  holding onto her father who was 7 feet tall! All the while I heard her asking in her cute little girl voice,  "Daddy, where are we going?"

The Daddy was dressed up in this grey business suit, while the little girl was wearing a white dress and a pair of pink shoes. The Daddy carried a briefcase while the little girl had a doll.
 
Both of them were walking towards the train. Daddy took one step, and daughter  had to catch up with three steps. The scene looked like daddy strolling in the park, daughter tattling after Daddy, side by side.
 
Suddenly, I saw the most beautiful picture ever. The little girl was so tired of holding her doll after carrying it for some time. Then she said, "Daddy, I'm tired. Can you hold it for me pls?"
 
The father reaches out to her, picks up this white tattered doll with red hair and pink dress, and carries it in his arm as if it belonged right there. He didn't even scan the whole metro station to see if people were looking, or chided his daughter, "No no! What would people think?!"
 
Instead, he lovingly relieves the little girl's burden, speeding up her steps! Wow! That was one of the sweetest picture ever of a father-daughter walk.
 
If our father on earth treats us so well, what more our Father in Heaven? So, if you're tired, tell Him. And like that little girl, surrender your sorrows to Him. He'll listen, relieve you of it and you'll skip with flair, soar into the skies, diving like a dolphin in and out of the oceans !
 

Monday, September 17, 2012

First Anniversary!

When I first came to Dubai, I didn't know how long I'd last out here in the desert. Came here feeling forlorn, lost and abandoned. But in just a matter of twelve months, things have changed tremendously. Today, I am no longer the person I was before, dependent, clinging onto others, afraid of letting go. Instead, bit by bit, I have  begun to trust my own decisions, becoming more independent, discovering more about God, who I am, and the ways of the world. It is indeed a lot to celebrate. 

Not so long ago, I defined my sense of identity through my profession. If somebody removed me from my designation, I wouldn't know who I'd be. Can I assume another role, other than that of an engineer? Today, I found the answer. Yes, I can. I can be a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a blessing.  I am human after all. Not a working machine. We work to live, not live to work. Frankly, it took me a long time to get that into my perspective. 

No matter how we, as professionals, seek to be perfectionists when it comes to work quality and deliverability, we shouldn't do it at the expense of our families and colleagues. We have our own lives to lead, families to care for. Leave whatever happens at work in the office and resume resolving it the next time you're at work. 

I used to think that I was elastic. Work could pile up on my desk as tall as Mount Everest, and I wouldn't even be deterred. I held onto the 'çan-do' spirit, grit my teeth, bent all the way backwards, to finish everything up. Yet, stress is a silent killer. It steals into your life, like the termites, slowly acidizing your nerves, robbing away the nutrients, eating away at the roots of your hair. 

Since I came here, I have a much more balanced life. Learning to focus on my priorities. 

The thing called work? I will just juggle it along the way. 

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Why I Love being in Dubai

People I encounter always ask me, "Do you like Dubai?"

My answer? 

"Of course! I love it!" without fail, every single time. 

Then, the next question would be 'Why?'. 

So, here I go, rattling replies like a bullet train at 200km/hr. 

#1: It has low population density
I love Dubai because it is a very calm and beautiful city. The population density is moderate, not like most Asian cities, where trains are packed like sardines. In Kuala Lumpur and Beijing, people are squeezed into trains, occupying 1sqft per person, standing or seated. On sunny days, the weather gets so hot that people faint on the spot. 

The lights are pretty dim in these stations. You'll see footprints, made by mud, rain and sand all over the floors, and sometimes even litter. Pickpockets are rampant that the train operators warn its passengers to watch out for their belongings and hide everything to avoid being targets.

In Dubai, there's no such thing. The train is so spacious. You don't have to fight for space. The metro station is bright and spotless. There are people patrolling between carriages to ensure its passengers obey the law. The best part? All of its stations are air-conditioned. Even if it might be scorching hot outside, inside-it feels like being in the mountains of Tibet, cool, fresh air. 

#2: It feels good... 
Almost everybody I meet here, love working in Dubai, from blue collar workers, white collar workers and collarless workers. Although for some, working and living conditions can be very bare and extremely rough, it's still much better in comparison with the condition in their home countries. Even the cleaners laugh gaily, singing as they sweep ceilings and polish floors. They smile and greet everyone. 

#3: It's spacious
Shopping complexes here are so huge that it takes an entire day to cover the whole mall. Some of it might even span across 2-3 villages in the suburbs. The worst part is, one has to love walking a lot to visit all the shops. The best part is, you don't knock into other people, step on their toes, or acccidentally kick their heels very much. The most wonderful part is, the receptionist at the information counter have a superb photographic memory of every store location. They give precise instructions on which left turn to take, and even describe the landmarks near to the stores you seek. You'll never get lost in the malls. Try asking for directions in Kuala Lumpur malls. You'll end up frustrated for speaking with monosyllable individuals. 

#4: It has amazing natural environments
Dubai (and the UAE), has one of the most awesome natural surroundings I've ever seen. Bare fjords, oasis among mountaintops, colourful marine life, carefree dolphins, winding channels between valleys, and of course, desert dunes! It's amazing! To appreciate it, you just got to dive into the seas, scale mountains and fly up in a hot air balloon to take in all the wonders of the world. Why! You can even try skydiving if you dare! 

#5: Freedom & Independence
To me, life in Dubai signifies freedom and independence. It is the path of freedom from financial debt, obligation and responsibility stress and multiple roles stress. Here, I live just for myself. I get to discover who I am, what I like, what I love, how I operate and why I do things the way I do. I am not influenced by the expectations of my bosses, my family, my friends. I develop my own personality, my likes and dislikes. I get to decorate my home according to my preference. I even get to practice my religion in the vicinity of my own home. For the first time, I am totally independent and not dependent on others to make me happy or determine my future. That, to me, is one of the most precious gifts of living in Dubai. The freedom and independence of living just for me, myself and I. I love it. 

#6: The presence of an international community
In Dubai, it's a melting pot of international cultures. Every time you pick a lot, you'll end up talking to a person from a country you've never heard of before. It's fun, It's exciting! It stimulates your senses all the time. It helps to expand my geographical knowledge and find out more about everybody living on hidden corners globally. 

There are many other reasons, on why I love living in Dubai. I'll continue to expand the list as the thought comes along. 

Well, if I could sum it all up to my beloved listeners, I'd say this, "Living in Dubai, is like getting a little taste of what it's like to be in heaven. Lacking nothing, having everything; living with people from all nations and tribes in peace and harmony."

Ahhh... What more could one ask for? 

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Precaution & Friendship

So, here I am, exposed to all the wonderful sights of Dubai and I'm thinking, "Oh! It's so safe here!"

A friend lost her mobile at the supermarket and she got it back through the honest security guard. I lost my laptop at the beach and got it back with everything intact within two hours. Woah... it's amazing. Had it occurred anywhere else in the world, I would have lost all hope of ever finding my lost items and prepared to dig deep into my pocket to replace the lost items. 

It is for this very reason that led me to the belief that 'Dubai - is a safe place. Crime rate is low, robberies rarely occur. Some people even leave their doors unlocked at night, or do not even install alarms in their houses, even though they stay in double-storey houses. There's no need for hourly patrolling guards, or escort service in parking lots. 

Because it's seemingly safe, I tend to let my guard down unwittingly. Once, I was followed in a shopping mall. He walked up to me, a random stranger, as I was strolling along the shops, and asks me out for a meal together. I shrugged, refused, and delibrately browsed in other stores. He persisted and continued shadowing me.

Another time, I stepped into the lift and a guy tried to touch my cheek before he stepped out of the elevator. Few weeks later, a delivery boy delivered some stuff to my place, and invited himself into the vicinity of my living room. On another occasion, one of the delivery guys even stayed at the door of my apartment and tried to harass me! Mind you, on all these 'events', I wasn't even wearing provocative clothings. I was covered up from head to toe. 

Yet, I was too startled to tell it to anyone. It is a taboo subject. One day, I was hanging out at a friend's place and suddenly it all came out. Turns out, friends who have stayed in the UAE for more than four years, had even worse experiences! Some were flashed, some had crazy maniacs rushing up to them for a hug!

I shudder as I imagine it. 

So, I learnt a few more lessons.
1. Never let your guard down. If you really need the delivery guy to send it up to your doorstep, make sure he puts it on the floor outside your apartment. 
2. Never open the door far wide and let any guys (known/acquaintances/friends/strangers) into your apartment. You never know what might happen. If you need to pay the delivery guys, peer through the keyhole, open slightly and slip the money through. Don't give them any chance to take a step into your house. 
3. If, on any given day, a person attacks you, or steps into your comfort radius/niche, say the following, "Stop! If you take one more step closer, I'll call the police!" Then, dig into your handbag, grab that perfume/pepper spray and prepare to defend yourself. 
4. If you do get attacked, tell the police. Don't be afraid. You shouldn't let others experience the same tormenting treatment. 

A friend launched into a pep-talk one day as I recounted these awful encounters. "Jean!"she told me, "Hey, if ever you need  use phrase #3, don't be afraid. do u know why? çoz I have friends in high places in this country. Therefore, if I know people, you know people."

That was one of my best days ever. To know and be reassured that I had a strong network of support even though I'm all alone in this foreign land. I am the luckiest person in the whole wide world! 


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Home, Hearth, Heart... Where is thou heart?

It's been exactly a year since I left Malaysia. It's not that long, not that short. Sufficient for me to get to know myself better but not long enough for me to travel all around the world. Yet, after 12 months, when I finally get to have my long awaited home passage, all I want to do is to go back to my real home, kick off my shoes, and rest on that nice, white, cushy sofa for 1 whole week! The last thing I want to do is trek around the globe, seeing new things, sights and sounds. After all, life in Dubai is like a working holiday! *Wink*
 
Once I've had my fair share of rest, I begin venturing out, meeting up with friends. At the end of every conversation, the following question will definitely creep up, and I begin anticipating it, so much so that I've prepared a script for it!
 
What's the million dollar question?
 
"So, do you plan to return to Malaysia after you complete your assignment?"
 
Geez... that is a pretty tough question. Considering that I learnt a mountain of living skills here, going back to work is the last thing on my mind. I must be insane if I answer 'Yes!'. After all, who would be willing to depart from this extremely comfortable lifestyle with many like-minded friends?
 
Yet, a patriot reminds me, "Never forget! You're a Malaysian. Here, is where you call home. At the end of the day, you will still want to rest in a place with your closest relatives and friends. The country is still developing. It needs your contribution."
 
That's true. So goes the old adage, ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. But shouldn't one venture out to learn about everything under the sun first, before being able to transfer the best knowledge and new technology back home?
 
A senior thinks I want to fly far, far away because of the pay that's triple or quadruple times of the home salary. "Money is not everything." he begins. "As you earn more, you spend more. Your become more spendrift, acquiring an expensive taste. Gradually, your monthly spendings increase and you'll need an even higher salary to maintain your lifestyle. You know what's important? Family. Ultimately, regardless of how much we laugh and cry, fight and make peace, they're our loved ones and close ones who will help us through thick and thin. We must look after them. If we don't, who will? Spending time with your family is more important than slaving away in a foreign country without being able to spend every single second with them. Whatsmore, your company is developing and grooming young people. This is your golden key. Hold onto it and never let it go."
 
Another senior chips in, "Yeah! Times are changing. The management is listening now. Nowhere else in the world can you find such a good boss. So, stay, k? Stay."
 
Once again, I am swayed to the right. What initially begin as a leftist thought strays heavily to the right, like a pendulum, swinging back and forth, keeping spectators in suspense. Will it stop on the left? or right? or right in the middle?
 
Who knows? Only time will tell. We'll all know the answer eventually. In the meantime, I'll enjoy and learn as much as I can. I won't let life stop while I weigh my decisions. Live in the present. Enjoy the moment. The time is now.
 
 
 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Reality Sets In

Out of the UAE, tell people you're working in Dubai and their eyes light up immediately. Depending on your audience, you can roughly guess their thoughts.
 
For businessmen and working adults, they'd think, "This person is rich! Will charge more for the tour/taxi ride/items."
 
For youngsters, they'd be thinking, "Wow! This aunty/uncle works so far away from home. I bet it must be exciting."
 
Tell it to a kid and it wouldn't mean anything. At most they'd say, "Yes! You're back! You can spend more time to play with me!" These young, innocent souls are just too glad to bask in your presence.
 
Well, having worked in Dubai for a year, all I can say is all that glitters is not gold. No doubt the pay may be higher than the salary back home, but people here face a lot of hardship too. Sometimes, I think it's all part of the package. In this world, we can't have everything. Sacrifices have to be made to gain more of something. You win some, you lose some. That's the way it is.
 
Perhaps you might be wondering, "If the money is good, what sort of hardships could there possibly be?"
 
There are just too many to be described here... but allow me to reveal a few to you.
 
First and foremost, is the cruel separation of families. Dads away from home for more than two years, missing their babies'first smile, first tooth, first walk; moms abandoning their kids to relatives or husbands in their home countries to provide for the family; husbands leaving wives to fend for themselves; wives leaving husbands in the name of career progression; children exploring and venturing into new territories, leaving the care of their parents into the hands of their sibblings...
 
Yes. We can always talk with each other on Skype. Yet, seeing and talking and being able to touch our loved ones physically beats just hearing their voices anytime. Humans are visual beings. We need to see, to feel, to hear for something to be real. Remove any one of those three elements and soon, reality fades into a memory. It scares the hell out of those who are new to these 'expatriate' assignments.
 
Next on the list is job insecurity. Recently, a friend who has worked here for almost a year, got fired and was made to leave the country within 3 days. Those who are more lucky get to stay in the country for extra thirty days to look for jobs, buy a ticket, etc before their visa gets terminated. Some of the employees here don't get paid at all, yet they need to stick with the job because they signed a contract. Some who are more fortunate, get paid partially every month, or receive their salaries depending on the company's financial situation. Sometimes they get it early of the month, sometimes in the middle, sometimes right up 'til the last day of the month.
 
For some who are their own bosses, they can't escape the heat too. Some get cheated by their partners and end up in prison for owing the banks. Some get employees who set up their own companies and steal the clients from underneath their noses.
 
If this doesn't sound bad enough, some employees lose their basic human rights too when they work for a new employer. Some work under temperatures exceeding 50 degrees Celsius more than 8 hours daily. Some get abused and are not granted any vacation for two years. Some have their passports hidden so they can't leave the country. Some are forced to commit crimes against their will...
 
Life is not a bed of roses when it comes to working overseas. It might sound grandoise, impressive and even invoking envy in the ears of listeners. But to protect our loved ones from the stark naked truth, we tell tall stories, stretch the truth, colour it and paint a nice beautiful picture to grant our family members inner peace of mind.
 
Deep down, knowing that our days here are numbered, we silently scheme to extend our stay here, beyond the contract period. There is too much at stake if we return to our own countries. Not all succeed though. When the time comes to leave, some are devastated and will exhaust all ways and means just to stay for one more year. Eventually, you'll meet expats who have survived retrenchments, pay cuts, firing and find out that one day, they've stayed here for more than ten years! It just goes to prove that no obstacle is too great that it cannot be overcome. With God's help, we will survive.
 
Just like the Turkish lamps, its beauty is derived from the broken, coloured, stained glass pieces with an illuminating candle in the middle. Our lives in Dubai, are just like that. Fragmented, yet colourful and bright. The best part is, we're accumulating stories and experiences so that we can bring it back home and inspire others to chase after their own personal dreams.
 
So, how does one keep on going in spite of the hardships?
 
After going through a series of interview, I finally made one conclusion. All survivors have only one goal - to earn as much as they can so that their families can lead better lives. In short, begin with the end in mind. Whatever happens in the middle, keep your goal in sight. Focus your eyes on the goal and you will never be diverted, discouraged or disheartened. Remember your prize.

Monday, September 03, 2012

Transformation

Before I came to Dubai , I was a tight wart. Maybe even tighter than that. I think I was more like a tightly wound up ball of spring. The moment somebody touches me, I yelp and curse and hurl words of abuse with evil intent.

"You are a monster! I don't even know who you are anymore!" my mum cried on the phone one day when I launched into one of my tirades yet again.
 
"Give me a break." I replied in my cold, mechanical voice (for you must temember , I was a working machine back then, worse off than a porcupine, for at least it still feels, lives and breathes).
 
"You're the one who's the ogre."  I retorted.
 
Believing that I was walking down the road to heaven, I took the highway and got lost somewhere along the way. I was destitute, desolate and desperately in need of help. I was on the verge of jumping off a cliff or jumping down from a roof. So what did I do? After exhausting all alternatives, I finally called out to God.

Guess what? He heard!

The next thing I knew, I landed in Dubai.

Ever seen a turtle and a monkey who has been kept in a cage since birth, and when you let it loose in the woods or beach, it gets confused and stunned for a moment? Then you urge them on, they turn back, take one last look at you, and once they start running and flying , there's no turning back. Ahhhh ... The taste of real freedom- who can fathom? Except for those who have had it.... The rest of the world who lives under oppression would never know what it's like to be truly free. Your imagination doesn't even bring you close to what you thought it'd be.
 
Coming to Dubai is the best thing that has happened to me so far. I love it so so much, every single minute of it. The environment, the place, the food, the transportation, the malls, the beaches, the fountains, the desert, you name it. I could write a whole book on why I love Dubai. The main reason? It's because of the people I meet who tone me physically and build me up emotionally. And I feel so so connected and in touch with everybody. I am secure and happy and perfectly comfortable in my own skin. I have finally found the place where I truly belong, a place where I am happy to call home.
 
There comes a time though, when we all have to leave Dubai. After all, we know this is just a temporary stop for all of us. But you know what? It doesn't matter if you'll be here for a year, three years or ten years. What matters is you make full use of your time while you're out here. Take the time to grow and connect and get to know everything you've ever wanted to know. Your mind will be blown away, severely out of proportion, by the things that you'll see and hear and experience. Live a fruitful life and love God and His creations with all your heart, your mind and your soul. God is here & He is real! Remember that!
 
When you emerge out of Dubai, you'll realize that you've been transformed, from a whitering rose into a blossoming peach tree! My my! You'll be a new creation altogether! Amazing! Now, who would have thought of that?
 
 
 

Monday, May 14, 2012

Awesome Day at Al Ain Wadi Waterpark


Today, was an awesome day! 

I actually did some pretty crazy stuff in the middle of the desert! 

I went to the Al Ain Wadi Waterpark, which has just been opened for about 3 months. 

Confession: I didn't know I was going to a waterpark in the first place. 

When the magic question popped up, "Do you want to go white water rafting in Al Ain?" 

"Yes!" I answered right away. Not a second of hesitation. After some pretty stressful months out here, I needed it. 

Knowing that Al Ain is an oasis, when the guy mentioned white water rafting, the following scene popped up in my mind: Cold, serene, lush forests, big, thick, tall trees and in between them? White, foamy, bubbly, turbulent waters gushing through every corner. 

It was not until the middle of the week that I found out that a water park had just opened in Al Ain. Instantly, a curious thought crossed my mind, "Ohhh... I think this is where we will be going to go white water rafting! Geez! I was conned!" 

Ok. It was my fault. I should have asked. Plus, I should have put on my black hat for logical thinking. How is it possible that there'd be a river big and deep enough to hold such a huge volume of water? If it did, at fifty degrees Celcius, the river'd dry up in no time. "Come on... you gotta be smarter than that." my brain cells knocked my heart the whole day long. 

"Man-made or natural, I am going to do it anyway." I told myself. "After all, don't you want to check out how real can a man-made river be?"

Come to think of it, it is pretty amazing that people can actually come up with the idea of building a river with turbulent waters, and sea-surfing? Wow! That is cool! (a.k.a. unbelievable!)

It turns out, white-water rafting is pretty much the same anywhere, man-made or not. In fact, the man-made rivers seemed more dangerous. In natural surroundings, the rocks are usually rounded, dark, covered with moss, slippery. Looking at it, you wouldn't think that it's hard. In fact, they look so welcoming that you'd think that if they could talk, they'd probably say, "Come! Lie here, bask in the sunlight and have a good rest." 

Well, not in the man-made river. Here, the rocks were square and rough. You could see all the boulders cemented together and you just knew it'd turn really nasty if one knocked onto these things. Imagine the cuts and bruises. They looked menacing. Gosh! I'd better follow instructions and do as I'm told. I'd do anything to stay in the boat, not out of it. 

But, there's one good thing. Because it was in the middle of the desert, near the mountains, there were no trees! So, we didn't have to duck from tree leaves and branches! We went on it 3 times! Even though it was the same 'river' course, each time became increasingly tough. Tired from all that rowing, left, right, in, out, I was only too happy to step out of the raft when it approached the 'river bank'. 

The next thing I did was the zip-line. Ok, that's pretty relaxing. Just hanging on a piece of rope, cruising about 30 feet above the waters. I had so much fun that I just had to do it again and again! 

THEN, as I was walking up for my 3rd time, guess what? I met Vanessa, a courageous South American lady who beckoned me to take a ride on the Giant Swing. 

To be honest, I love swings. You know, those swings on the play ground which come in all shapes and sizes? Tyres on ropes, planks on ropes, or even those white garden chairs on hooks. It's a nice feeling to be pushed high up into the air, and feel such a sense of peace as it swings down and you look at the whole world around you, spinning, spinning, spinning. Then you swing up, and down, up , and down. And you wish that it'd never, ever stop. Ahh... I would always long to sit on the swing for just one more minute. 

I don't know what I was doing. Maybe it was because Vanessa looked very welcoming and credible. She just radiated with this aura of confidence. "Trust me." she said. "It'll be fun! You'll see." 

And I believed her. After all, I had come to release my stress and so far, I still felt all those tensed up muscles in me.Yeah... I should go. So, I inched forward as she beckoned me. Step by step, I finally reached this big piece of log. It was about 1 metre long, and it's diameter was about 12 inches. Hanging on this piece of log, were 3 'seats', or thick belts where we were supposed to sit on, and yellow piece of rope to hang onto.

The operator of the Giant Swing, began pulling the log backwards and upwards simultaneously. It was pretty amazing. Looking up, up, up, it was like being in a cable car. Then when we reached 30 feet above the ground, guess what? The guy stops in mid-air, suspends the log, and begins counting, "1!" , "2!", "3!". 

Thup! The log drops and my heart lunges forward, plunging into a deep, bottomless pit. I scream on top of my lungs. Screaming for my life. I knew I couldn't shout "Stop!!! Put me down now!" no.... at this stage, that was impossible! Physics taught me that when something is moving at top speed, and you stopped it suddenly, you'd be flung very, very far away! Now, you wouldn't that to happen, would you? 

Nope. So, I just sat there, hanging onto that fragile piece of plastic pipe, and yelled, "Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhh!!!!!"  for about 3 minutes. It was so shrill that my 'neighbours' turned deaf and had to console me in the middle of the swinging, "It's all right, it's all right!" in the midst of my ear-piercing screams.

Towards the end of the swing, it became gentler and milder. I was just beginning to enjoy it and Jimmy remarks, "I'm getting sick.Quick! Stop!" and I go "No! No! I'm enjoying it!" 

Boy! All that screaming? It felt good! I had wanted to scream, yell, cry, since I came to Dubai and I just didn't know how. Nothing could trigger it. This, was the perfect avenue! 

At the end of the ride, Jimmy complimented me for my scream. "Wow... I have never, ever heard anybody screamed like that." 

Vanessa, in her own understanding way, comfortingly said, "Yeah! She probably needed to let all that pent up emotions out of her system!"

Then they look towards the operator and said, "You're doing a great job! You must have enjoyed it!" 

The operator just smiled and waved us on our way to the next adventure. 

In my defense,I did a good job. Screaming,that is.

At the end of the day, I smiled to myself. I can't believe that I took that giant swing n I survived! 

My heart is pounding really hard and fast. In fact, I could even hear it beating. My legs were wobbling.


Yet, at the end of the day,  as I walked along  the corridors and jingled the keys in my pocket, as I opened the doors to my new apartmnt, I just kept on smiling to myself. I can't help it. I took the Giant Swing and I am still alive! Now, ain't that something? It's incredible!


From now on, whenever I am gripped with fear, I will say to myself,"now,now, what's d worst thing that could happen? What could be worse than that Giant Swing? You rode it and you survived! Go ahead and work ur charm."




Sunday, May 13, 2012

Trust in God


At the Al Ain Wadi waterpark, after taking the Giant Swing, I was swelling with courage. Full of praises for myself, "Wow! I actually had the guts to swing from 30feet off the ground!" 

Bursting with pride, when Vanessa invited me to venture into new territory, walking on the poles in the sky, I happily nodded. 

Yet, when we reached the platform, I fearfully held onto myself, launching into another self-tirade. 

"Ok, Jean. Do you really want to do it?" 
"Ummm... yes... but... it's so high! can I even do it?" 
"Yeah! Remember? You tried that once, and you had to pull yourself together, 'til all your muscles ached?" 
"U huh, u huh! and you had to summon all sorts of commands to all the muscles you never knew existed, to move!"
"That's true! I mean, how are you going to do it? Can you do it?" 

With all these voices playing out in my head, I had to really clear my thoughts and think about the obvious reasons that I should do it. 

1. I'm so stressed out. I need to challenge myself, physically and mentally to prove that I can survive anywhere! If I can do this, I can survive at work too! 
2. I have taken the swing from the sky. and I survived. What's the worst that could happen? 
3. If you do this, you'll get a great sense of achievement. You need this extra booster, Jean. With so little challenges thrown at you at this moment at work, you need it to fire you up. 
4. If you don't know how to cross, don't worry. You'll get by somehow, one way or another. 
5. I looked around the area and noticed this thin rope, which goes around a track. I won't get stuck, I'll probably hang on it. I won't drop onto the ground. 

"Come on! Jean!" an inner voice said. "You just got to do it."

And so, with that thought, I bravely nodded to the 'guardian'. "OK, I'm ready." I said. So, he hooked me up onto the harness and pushed me to the sidelines, leaving me dangling in thin air. I looked down and I was scared. Come to think of it, I don't know why I was scared. I mean, it's not that scary right? I constantly peer out from my balcony in the apartment, and I enjoy the view. What's different this time? 

I think it was probably due to the fact that I would be suspending myself in the air, my life depending solely on ropes. 

"Don't worry, you won't fall. Check this out." the guardian says. "There are 3 ropes."

 'One hundred' he pointed to the first rope. 
 'Two hundred' he pointed to the second rope.
 'Three hundred.Very safe.' as he held the 3rd and final rope. 

Being an engineer, I automatically assumed he meant "100kg, 200kg, 300kg." I am about 60kg, so these 3 ropes, they can sustain a weight that's 5 times of me! Wow! Ok. That's very reassuring. 

Apparently, I couldn't have been more mistaken. Looking at my fearful, confused look, the 'guardian' repeated it once more, just so that I got the message, "100% - 1st rope. 200% - 2nd rope. 300% - 3rd rope. No problem!"and he gave the biggest grin ever.

Wow! That is so not scientific! 

Anyhow, I was here to complete a mission and I had to do it. So, here I am, deciding to cross obstacles on suspended poles and platforms, willing every inch of my muscle to move. 

First step, how in the world am I going to take the first step out? To step from a wide, wooden platform to put my foot on a thin rope? How am I going to stand? 

And so, being the timid me, I hugged the big, wooden pole, as if I'd never leave it. 

"Go on! If you need help, just give a shout."

"Huh?! What to shout?" sometimes, being too analytical is not a very good thing. One has to be spontaneous to be actually alive.

I thought, 'oh! Maybe I'm supposed to shout his name, to get his attention.' So I asked, "What's your name?"

"Javeed. But you don't have to shout out my name. Just shout 'help!', and I'll guide you along the way." 

That's way simpler. 

But, still, I have to take the first step out. So, here I am, standing on the quarter-circle platform, taking my first baby step on the line. Oh gosh! What am I gonna do??? Just walk, Jean, walk!

So, I step onto the line, and suddenly I am hanging in the air! 'Wah! Help!!!! What to do what to do?' My brains are screaming internally. 

Jimmy notices and he tells me, just hang onto your rope in front of you, lean back and side step all the way to the end. Ok, that sounds pretty easy. So I do just as he says and I arrive at the first stop. 

The next obstacle, is climbing into a rattan basket. I creep into it, walk gingerly and reach the 2nd stop. 

At the 3rd stop, there's a big, blue barrel. "Hold the handles on the lines and cross!" 

Wow! I manage to do it too! 

Next, I had to cross a log, suspended between two poles. No ropes to hang onto, nothing, except for d one that was hanging me - my lifeline. What am I going to do? 

"Just do the same thing!" Javeed and Jimmy urges me on. "Hang onto your rope, lean back and side step." 

Once again, gripped with fear, I just can't bring my left foot to step onto the log. A kid, who's probably about 10 years old, catches up with me. "Go on!" she says. "If you don't go, I can't go!" 

Yeah,... I replied, but I''m afraid!

"Ok, I know what. I'll go first. You go later." She nimbly skips onto the log and heads on a few steps, and our ropes get sort of entangled. 

"Oh... this is not a good idea. You need to go first." 

Like it or not, I had to put my foot on the log and slide myself across. 

By now, I was getting the hang of it. This is getting easier. I noticed one thing. All I had to do was just let the lines do its job. Lean back, hang onto the lines, and find ways and means of pushing myself from left to the right. I can hang on ropes, hang on barrels, anything. Just relax, hold on, and side step. 

The next obstacle, were six revolving platforms. First, as I stepped on it, it moved! Wah! It upset my balance, so slippery and caused me such instability. Once again, I was enveloped in fear. But then, I remembered something. I had that rope, and I could slide, and hold on to the ropes in front of me! so I did just that. 

When I successfully crossed it, I was pretty happy with myself. Then came those little wooden things, that looked like steps in thin air. By now, I was learning the ropes - literally. I had learnt my lesson. That these obstacles came in all shapes and sizes. But guess what? If I used my own strength to cross, it would be virtually impossible. There was only one way, that was to lean back, hold on, and slide through. So, that's exactly what I did. 

At the final stage, were two arm rests. I gripped on it and gently pushed myself. Javeed looks at me and says, "Come on! Don't you want to push yourself harder?"

I gave him my most innocent and exhausted smile that sort of said, "I think I've accomplished pretty much for today. You'd be doing me a great deed by pulling me to my final destination." So I just hung onto the bar and gave him my sweetest smile, and he promptly pulled me up. 

Wow! I finally did it! Tremendously relieved that now I was standing on solid ground, not suspended in thin air, defying gravity anymore. 

The little girl behind me, completed her rounds just seconds after me and shouts triumphantly, "Wow! That was fun! Can I do it again!" 

Javeed happily encourages her, "Of course! You can do it as many times as you like!"

"Yes!" the little girl jumps up for joy and runs towards the starting point. 

As I'm let off the hook, I was relishing my moment. "Wow! I can't believe I did it!" 

"Yes! You did!" 

I learnt, on that very day, that obstacles and challenges, comes in all different shapes and sizes. It maybe in life, in death, downturn in your career, financial problems, marital problems, all kinds of problems. But the only way to survive it, to stay strong, with your hopes lifted high up, is to trust in God, just like how I hung all my hope and faith onto those three ropes. When you're in a different realm, when you're suspended in challenges, with no solid ground, but a thin rope, an unstable platform, an enclosing fear, walking on the ground, trusting in gravity, walking with your own strength might not be such a good idea after all. It's time to put your faith and trust in the Lord, relax and let Him do the rest for you. 

Immediately, a phrase comes to mind. "Come to me, and I will give you rest." 

You no longer have to carry all those heavy burden around you. Put it down and learn to relax. 

Like my mentor always said, "You don't constantly have to be in survivor mode, you know."

Now I know, mentor. I finally got you. 



Saturday, May 12, 2012

Taxis

I think taxis in Dubai are pretty interesting.

Check out these little notes about Dubai Taxis.
http://www.dubaifaqs.com/taxi-dubai.php

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Ground Zero


After being here for almost 8 months, I have finally come back down to earth.I find myself waking up to the realities of life daily these days.

What caused it?

First, a friend's husband lost his job after the company decided to downsize the organization. I thought it was easy to find work in Dubai. Unfortunately, not every sector hires actively, especially those which skills are widely available, like administrative staff, or project managers. They were living on credit everyday, banks breathing down their necks, with two little mouths to feed. In the UAE, for married couples to stay together, the easiest way would be to have both parties working in the country. If one works, and the other not, the one who's jobless will need to be sponsored by a spouse who earns more than 10,000AED per month. Failing which, the other half will be issued a visiting visa. It's sad. Hence, families who are able to stay together here are very privileged indeed.

A few weeks later, I met an engineer who works for a local company. According to him, the company hires expatriates actively, but fires actively too. Every three months, people are laid off for turning up a few minutes late for work, not working after official office hours, going for lunch, and of course, insufficient profit generating and cost savings initiatives. Just within a short span of six months, three of his team mates were laid off. However, nobody was hired to replace their positions. As a result, he was forced to undertake the responsibilities of those who left. Today, he is overworked, often working until late in the night and on weekends. Now, he is desperately seeking for a way out.

Every country has its own culture. Some are gentle, some courteous, some rough. In the Middle East, for people who come from peace-loving nations, such as Southeast Asian countries, it can be quite shocking. Here, people express dissastisfaction openly, conduct discussions with loud,raised voices and are very insistent and indignant on what they want. They squeeze the workers dry, down to the very last drop, to ensure that you contribute all that you have. Working with Chinese, on the other hand, presents a stark contrast. They are so quiet and calm, displaying a straight face all the way through your presentation,  and you can't even read their thoughts. I think to understand such nations, requires a totally different set of communication skills.

I also discovered that some people were brought here through illegal channels and unethical methods. I know. We read about it in the papers all the time. But to actually meet someone whom you know personally, whom you interact with on a daily basis, to discover their history and how their ignorance and innocence were exploited for quick profit was simply heart-breaking. It made me wonder, "How could the people be involved, have the heart to cause such grievous hurt to these young souls? Didn't they feel the least bit guilty? Could they even fall sound asleep in the night, knowing that their victims cried their hearts out as they lay on cold, hard floors, and felt so hopeless and disheartened, as they trudged through work every day, bounded by invisible handcuffs and unbreakable bonds?"

One of the cleaners has a bachelor's degree in tourism, worked in a travel agency for three years and was about to be promoted. Lured by the high salary in UAE and abundant opportunities, she signed up for a job which she thought consisted of the same job description back home, only to find out it was the job of tea-lady. Devastated, she wanted to go back home, but was told that she'd have to pay a hefty fine for all the fees for processing visas, flight tickets, etc. So, she had to surrender and yield to the will of the company for two years. During that period, she was not allowed to return back to her home country at all.

Another was an accountant who was hired in different company, only to find out that on top of the accountancy job he was hired to execute, he was also required to distribute water bottles around the region, which includes driving a truck and carrying them, one by one, on his back, in winter and summer. So in the day time, he had to contend with balancing water bottles, while in the night, he had to balance figures.

Coming here, it's like signing up for the ultimate test of life; to test your yield strength and the extent of your will power; to discover your true potential, what you're truly capable of, and discovering your true personality, values and ethics. In every other way, it has caused many to turn to various sources of release outlets to seek for solace and comfort. As expats, we realize, staying in this country is a rare privilege indeed. Not only do we become older and wiser, we also learn to be more humane, compassionate and sensitive to the plight of others, actively helping out in every way we can.

In fact, when the news of a prison inmate jailed because of her inability to pay back an incredible amount of debt she owed to the bank, a generous expatriate paid it off for her, so that she and her daughter could return to their home country. Elsewhere, some friends of an inmate, surrendered their passports to the local authorities to bail out a man who was innocent and wrongly accused.

It is here that I feel that no doubt money is important. But the ultimate aim of getting more money, apart from improving the quality of one's individual and family life, it's to bring greater benefit, spreading relief, cheer and happiness to those who truly needs it. May we remember all the kindness and generosity others have shown us as we move on in life, and remember to do the same to others at all times. For life is about sharing and sharing is... love.






Friday, May 04, 2012

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder batle. ~ Plato


Dubai is a trading and travelling hub. People transit here for stopovers, and traders love coming here because it is safe, peaceful and tax free. Yet, because it is where you have representatives from every nation here, you'll tend to learn a lot about countries you've never heard of, or learning the precise history about a country or dismissing misconceptions you've learned about it from the media. The most important thing is you learn that peace can exist, even when people from every different tribe, tongue and nation on the globe lives together. Who says that a country can only prosper or have peace if only one tribe exists? Time and time again, it has been proven that with diversity, comes development. Diversity in character, nationalities, and values. It is precisely diversity which encourages exchange of ideas, improvisations. If there were no free flow of ideas, from whence comes development? 

Here, I learnt that inter-racial marriages can be quite successful too! I met a housemaid who took pride in the family she worked for. "I'm from Uganda." she says. "The couple I work for? The wife is French, and the husband comes from Germany. The child I"m baby sitting, speaks English to me when he sees me, speaks French to the mother and German to the father. The boy is only three, and he switches fluently from English to French to German in a matter of seconds!" Isn't this amazing? 

It's also here that I learnt that the leaders of every country can either 'make' or 'break' their countries. In Venezuela, almost all the young, energetic and educated youth are taking flight to find jobs out of the country due to the worsening economic situation. In Azerbaijan, the government sets up high walls and fences to shield the view of poor settlements in the city. In Iraq, the situation is still hostile - foreigners are often targeted with bombs and gunshots. In Syria, rebels are fighting against the government and refugees are pouring into neighbouring countries. War, poverty and insecurity plagues many nations every day. Nearby, Iran threatens to fire rockets at Israel. The countries in between, must be so fearful. Imagine a rocket flying over your head. Wouldn't you be scared? Will the situation take a turn for the better one day? I really hope so. 

Just two weeks ago, a Jordanian told me, that she was originally a Palestinian, living next to the Jordan border. One day, her home was invaded and suddenly she found that she was stateless. Fortunately, Jordan decided to be very generous and awarded her a Jordanian citizenship. Another Palestinian was not so lucky. Having being born right in the heart of Palestine, her passport is witheld by the government. She travels from country to country based on papers. Whenever she travels, she has to apply for visa every single time. She's afraid of returning to Palestine. If she returns, she'll never be able to set foot out of the country anymore. Can you imagine what is it like for the offsprings of these citizens? Where would they have a place to call home? Imagine never having the opportunity to visit the land of your ancestors. How would you know your origins? How would you know why you act the way as you do now? If there're less roots of identification, the child will probably be left wondering, lost and confused. Just like the orphans of China, who even after being adopted, often wonder why their parents abandoned them. 

In the first few months of my arrival, cases of young infants dropping down from balconies and windows attracted my attention. One survived, the rest, tragically perished. 

A friend from the US, has a friend whose son works for the US Military. The son was sent to Afghanistan as a Ranger about three years ago. In the US, if you have relatives in the military based in war-afflicted countries, you will pray very fervently for their safety and wellbeing. You'll be thankful just to know that they are alive. One day, the father told his friend, "Today, you don't have to pray for my son anymore. Because last night, he was shot and they're sending his body on the next flight home. Please pray for my son's wife and kids. His wife is inconsolable, and his kids-they will never ever get to really know their dad." 

How do you react to such news? No amount of words are sufficient to comfort these families. No matter how dilligently you search for the right words, you'll never find the one which is appropriate to heal their broken hearts. For us, the listeners, our tears just streamed shamelessly down our cheeks; dumbstruck by the fact that humans have the capacity to commit such atrocities towards each other. Lost for words except 'May God bless them' and 'let's uphold them in our prayers'. War is always a lose-lose situation. Which party stands to benefit from it? It affects the descendants of future generations of both sides for years and years to come. 

Since life is fragile, it is precious. Tended with loving care, it sprouts and brings forth happiness. If left to fend for itself in the freezing cold, burning heat and wild jungle, it'll be like a lost tiger with fangs, biting at anything that approaches it.


Thursday, May 03, 2012

At Crossroads: TO quit, or not to quit.

I often wonder about what causes a person to quit his/her job. Occasionally, when the curiousity bug bites me, I will post a question to one of those frequent job hoppers. "So, what's your motivation for switching companies every three years?"

The young ones answer, "Of course it's because of salary increment! Do you think I'd job hop if they paid me well?"

Seasoned professionals would sip coffee, give my question a serious thought and reply, "Well, it's to enhance my technical skills. Had I stayed on, my learning curve would have been flat. Sometimes, you need to venture out to test your capabilities." 

Yet, if I ask those who have worked in the same company for more than a decade, their main reason for staying would be, "This company provides excellent benefits to its employees. So, why should I quit?" 

Others, who are more career minded, would say, "Well, I visualized my future growth in this company. I found that I could explore my skills and develop my potential. It grooms up young employees to be future leaders. So, I stayed. Without realizing it, this is my 30th year with the company!" 

Some, stay on because they dislike taking risks. "What if I quit, and I dislike the new job? What if I discover the new job is very demanding and I don't have what it takes? What if I am fired after just three months of taking up the job? To whom shall I turn to?"

When the going gets tough, I have a strong urge to quit. Yet, I haven't done so because I find that  there are very few organizations who value ethics such as integrity and open communication, and emphasizes it as their core values. In most organizations, you'll find that one often has to compromise their values and principles to answer to the higher management. 

One of the veterans advised, "Before you quit, you must ask yourself this question: 'Are you quitting because of your boss or your company?" 

"What's the difference?" I asked. At this moment, boss is equivalent to the company. 

"Well," the veteran explains patiently. "If you're quitting because of your boss, the risk that you're taking is not worth it. How sure are you that in your new company, you won't have an equally bad or maybe even worse boss? Don't you think that you should learn how to handle and face your present situation instead of running away? If you had a different or 'better' boss, would you quit? If you're quitting because of the organization, then it's probably because they provide less insurance coverage, no retirement benefits, no career development, no future growth, etc. Oooh.. my dear, " she croons. "Trust me. It makes a huge difference." 

A friend advises, "It's very important to work in an environment surrounded by positive people. If you've found it, you've hit the jackpot!"

As we climb up the  career ladder, we reach a point where we realize that money is not everything. Other factors that we should weigh include job description, job satisfaction, benefits, vision and employee development programmes. 

Hence, don't quit just because you feel like it, or think it's time. Sleep on it. Give it some thought before making a hasty decision. As a wise person once said, "Very often, you have to respect a person's position, even if you dislike the person." 

Recently, somebody asked me this, "Think about it. If you've been in a company for more than ten years, and all you'll ever be, is an engineer, do you think that, is an accomplishment? Don't you think that by the time you're 30 or 35, you should be a manager or a specialist reservoir engineer?" 


The question reminded me of this famous prose, "Fame or Fortune?"

Is that all we're after? Fame? Fortune? When we talk about career progression, is it the money that we're after? or the title? Does it matter? Why?

There's something else that we ought to be seeking after.

Pause for a minute.

Step back, look at the bigger picture and carve your future.

That, is what I am going to do today.