Trust in God

At the Al Ain Wadi waterpark, after taking the Giant Swing, I was swelling with courage. Full of praises for myself, "Wow! I actually had the guts to swing from 30feet off the ground!" 

Bursting with pride, when Vanessa invited me to venture into new territory, walking on the poles in the sky, I happily nodded. 

Yet, when we reached the platform, I fearfully held onto myself, launching into another self-tirade. 

"Ok, Jean. Do you really want to do it?" 

"Ummm... yes... but... it's so high! can I even do it?" 

"Yeah! Remember? You tried that once, and you had to pull yourself together, 'til all your muscles ached?" 

"U huh, u huh! and you had to summon all sorts of commands to all the muscles you never knew existed, to move!"

"That's true! I mean, how are you going to do it? Can you do it?" 

With all these voices playing out in my head, I had to really clear my thoughts and think about the obvious reasons that I should do it. 

1. I'm so stressed out. I need to challenge myself, physically and mentally to prove that I can survive anywhere! If I can do this, I can survive at work too! 

2. I have taken the swing from the sky. and I survived. What's the worst that could happen? 

3. If you do this, you'll get a great sense of achievement. You need this extra booster, Jean. With so little challenges thrown at you at this moment at work, you need it to fire you up. 

4. If you don't know how to cross, don't worry. You'll get by somehow, one way or another. 

5. I looked around the area and noticed this thin rope, which goes around a track. I won't get stuck, I'll probably hang on it. I won't drop onto the ground. 

"Come on! Jean!" an inner voice said. "You just got to do it."

And so, with that thought, I bravely nodded to the 'guardian'. "OK, I'm ready." I said. So, he hooked me up onto the harness and pushed me to the sidelines, leaving me dangling in thin air. I looked down and I was scared. Come to think of it, I don't know why I was scared. I mean, it's not that scary right? I constantly peer out from my balcony in the apartment, and I enjoy the view. What's different this time? 

I think it was probably due to the fact that I would be suspending myself in the air, my life depending solely on ropes. 

"Don't worry, you won't fall. Check this out." the guardian says. "There are 3 ropes."

 'One hundred' he pointed to the first rope. 

 'Two hundred' he pointed to the second rope.

 'Three hundred.Very safe.' as he held the 3rd and final rope. 

Being an engineer, I automatically assumed he meant "100kg, 200kg, 300kg." I am about 60kg, so these 3 ropes, they can sustain a weight that's 5 times of me! Wow! Ok. That's very reassuring. 

Apparently, I couldn't have been more mistaken. Looking at my fearful, confused look, the 'guardian' repeated it once more, just so that I got the message, "100% - 1st rope. 200% - 2nd rope. 300% - 3rd rope. No problem!"and he gave the biggest grin ever.

Wow! That is so not scientific! 

Anyhow, I was here to complete a mission and I had to do it. So, here I am, deciding to cross obstacles on suspended poles and platforms, willing every inch of my muscle to move. 

First step, how in the world am I going to take the first step out? To step from a wide, wooden platform to put my foot on a thin rope? How am I going to stand? 

And so, being the timid me, I hugged the big, wooden pole, as if I'd never leave it. 

"Go on! If you need help, just give a shout."

"Huh?! What to shout?" sometimes, being too analytical is not a very good thing. One has to be spontaneous to be actually alive.

I thought, 'oh! Maybe I'm supposed to shout his name, to get his attention.' So I asked, "What's your name?"

"Javeed. But you don't have to shout out my name. Just shout 'help!', and I'll guide you along the way." 

That's way simpler. 

But, still, I have to take the first step out. So, here I am, standing on the quarter-circle platform, taking my first baby step on the line. Oh gosh! What am I gonna do??? Just walk, Jean, walk!

So, I step onto the line, and suddenly I am hanging in the air! 'Wah! Help!!!! What to do what to do?' My brains are screaming internally. 

Jimmy notices and he tells me, just hang onto your rope in front of you, lean back and side step all the way to the end. Ok, that sounds pretty easy. So I do just as he says and I arrive at the first stop. 

The next obstacle, is climbing into a rattan basket. I creep into it, walk gingerly and reach the 2nd stop. 

At the 3rd stop, there's a big, blue barrel. "Hold the handles on the lines and cross!" 

Wow! I manage to do it too! 

Next, I had to cross a log, suspended between two poles. No ropes to hang onto, nothing, except for d one that was hanging me - my lifeline. What am I going to do? 

"Just do the same thing!" Javeed and Jimmy urges me on. "Hang onto your rope, lean back and side step." 

Once again, gripped with fear, I just can't bring my left foot to step onto the log. A kid, who's probably about 10 years old, catches up with me. "Go on!" she says. "If you don't go, I can't go!" 

Yeah,... I replied, but I''m afraid!

"Ok, I know what. I'll go first. You go later." She nimbly skips onto the log and heads on a few steps, and our ropes get sort of entangled. 

"Oh... this is not a good idea. You need to go first." 

Like it or not, I had to put my foot on the log and slide myself across. 

By now, I was getting the hang of it. This is getting easier. I noticed one thing. All I had to do was just let the lines do its job. Lean back, hang onto the lines, and find ways and means of pushing myself from left to the right. I can hang on ropes, hang on barrels, anything. Just relax, hold on, and side step. 

The next obstacle, were six revolving platforms. First, as I stepped on it, it moved! Wah! It upset my balance, so slippery and caused me such instability. Once again, I was enveloped in fear. But then, I remembered something. I had that rope, and I could slide, and hold on to the ropes in front of me! so I did just that. 

When I successfully crossed it, I was pretty happy with myself. Then came those little wooden things, that looked like steps in thin air. By now, I was learning the ropes - literally. I had learnt my lesson. That these obstacles came in all shapes and sizes. But guess what? If I used my own strength to cross, it would be virtually impossible. There was only one way, that was to lean back, hold on, and slide through. So, that's exactly what I did. 

At the final stage, were two arm rests. I gripped on it and gently pushed myself. Javeed looks at me and says, "Come on! Don't you want to push yourself harder?"

I gave him my most innocent and exhausted smile that sort of said, "I think I've accomplished pretty much for today. You'd be doing me a great deed by pulling me to my final destination." So I just hung onto the bar and gave him my sweetest smile, and he promptly pulled me up. 

Wow! I finally did it! Tremendously relieved that now I was standing on solid ground, not suspended in thin air, defying gravity anymore. 

The little girl behind me, completed her rounds just seconds after me and shouts triumphantly, "Wow! That was fun! Can I do it again!" 

Javeed happily encourages her, "Of course! You can do it as many times as you like!"

"Yes!" the little girl jumps up for joy and runs towards the starting point. 

As I'm let off the hook, I was relishing my moment. "Wow! I can't believe I did it!" 

"Yes! You did!" 

I learnt, on that very day, that obstacles and challenges, comes in all different shapes and sizes. It maybe in life, in death, downturn in your career, financial problems, marital problems, all kinds of problems. But the only way to survive it, to stay strong, with your hopes lifted high up, is to trust in God, just like how I hung all my hope and faith onto those three ropes. When you're in a different realm, when you're suspended in challenges, with no solid ground, but a thin rope, an unstable platform, an enclosing fear, walking on the ground, trusting in gravity, walking with your own strength might not be such a good idea after all. It's time to put your faith and trust in the Lord, relax and let Him do the rest for you. 

Immediately, a phrase comes to mind. "Come to me, and I will give you rest." 

You no longer have to carry all those heavy burden around you. Put it down and learn to relax. 

Like my mentor always said, "You don't constantly have to be in survivor mode, you know."

Now I know, mentor. I finally got you.