Being Myself...

In life, we frequently find that we have to defend our own opinions, state our stand and help others. But what happens when that boundary gets stepped on? What will you do?

Perhaps, due to past fears and apprehensions, I always keep my internal fears, worries, anxieties and thoughts all to myself. I sometimes wonder if it will ever change.

A few months back, I read a book about such reactions. To change this condition, we have to face our fears, and find out the root cause. What do you fear? Why ? What caused it? Is there any basis for it? If there is no basis, then there is no reason for you to fear. If there is a basis, what can you do to change it?

It's easy to talk and read about it. But when I find myself in this type of situation, I am always at a loss. What do I do?

Hence, when my school opened its doors for soft-skills course, the first course I picked was Emotional Intelligence.

Is this course popular? Apparently, not. Because out of 400-500 students, only six registered for it.

Anyway, I learnt a lot from this course. First, I learnt about the definition. What is emotion?
It is e-motion, energy in motion. It is a movement.

There are many types of emotions, and each affects certain parts of our bodies. Each emotion has a purpose and it gives us traffic lights about the zones we are in. Green - means safe zone. Yellow - warning! Red - Danger - my boundaries are invaded!

Did you know that emotions affect us physically too? They do! In fact, when we are happy, we tend to move in groups. When we are sad, we tend to withdraw into our shell. When we are fearful, the blood rushes to our legs, so that we can run for our lives. When we are angry, all the energy and blood rises up to the upper part of our bodies, increasing the impulsive desire to ball up our fists and fight others.

Sometimes, I wish I didn't experience certain kind of emotions. Like anger, fear, worry or sadness. I wish I could be joyful and calm all the time. But I learnt that emotions are our friends. I should not treat it like an enemy or a mountain to be conquered. By understanding it, I will force myself to confront it and release it in a healthy manner. I shouldn't deny it, repress it, fall into it, or run away from it. I should just look at it to understand it. Once I confront it face to face, a sense of peace and tranquility will wash over me. So, by looking at our emotions under the microscope, we will acknowledge it and then we will take action. If we do it often enough, it will be part of our character.

It is important to know how we feel and why we are feeling it, as it indicates that something is not being dealt with. We need to stop for a minute, like looking at a friend in a mirror, to solve it, so that it will not become a stumbling block for us in future. By developing good emotional intelligence (EI), we will have the ability to manage our emotions.

How do we become more conscious of our emotions? By paying attention to ourselves, of course! This involves a heightened level of self-awareness through constant exercing, keeping quiet, or even just sitting silently to empty our thoughts.

To be emotionally healthy, it is also important for us to put ourselves in a third-party position of an observer, to see what's happening in us, dissecting every thought with a deep incision and a sharp surgeon's knife, to understand the reasons for our feelings and do something about it.

Life is about learning. Right now, I am learning to love myself and the people around me. Connecting with people is a challenge. God knows.. I've been so lost in my own world, my books, my work, my passion, that it's hard to come out of it. I have a lot more to learn about caring.

This course is exactly what I need right now. It might not answer all the questions that I have, or transform me from a devil into an angel, but it's a good start. Stay strong, Jean! You're standing on the cliff of transformation! 

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More Memorable Advices

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~ What is important is not how others perceive you, but how you see yourself. ~

~ I know who I am. ~