Cold - Frost & Chill

Beijing! Ahh! It's like music to my ears! Sounds like the ringing of sleigh bells in winter!

 

The first time I stepped into Beijing, I had the most wonderful opportunity to visit the popular tourist sites. Great Wall of China, Forbidden City and Summer Palace. I even visited the National Theatre to watch Chinese Opera! It was a great experience and I loved it! It was summer then. July - I still remember the month. The temperature was around 25 degrees Celsius , and raining all the time. In Dubai, the temperature was twice of Beijing's! So it was a great relief to enjoy the cool weather.

 

This time around, my boss issued a last minute invitation to attend yet another meeting in Beijing. She even inserted a post script at the end of her letter. "Please take note. The weather in Beijing is very cold now, ranging from 7 to 15 degrees Celsius. Pack thick clothes to keep warm."

 

Wow! I was touched! On the day I was scheduled to fly, I hurriedly went to the mall to buy a thick duck feather jacket. Then I flew, all the way from Abu Dhabi to Beijing.

 

Now, as soon as I stepped out of the airport, cold breeze brushed across my cheeks. Colour returned. I was refreshed! I am so glad I am in Beijing! Had it not been for the company of my Canadian-Iraqi colleague, I would have been leaping for joy (literally)! All the way, I did not even feel a hint of fatigue or exhaustion! In the office, I was freezing. I had to hug myself to keep warm. I even wore the duck feather jacket indoors, which seemed strange in the eyes of my Chinese colleagues. They just couldn't stop laughing over their sides as soon they realized I was was feeling super cold. The Chinese, had, after all, donned only a T-shirt or an overcoat. If you were watching this scene from South East Asia, you would have thought it was about 35 degrees Celsius too!

 

One of my long-time colleagues then taught me a trick. "Wear two more layers. A woolie with long sleeves, and a thermal wear, so that it sticks to your body, effectively insulating your body from the cold. If you just wear the overall coat, it is lose, it moves. It's not efficient in trapping a thick layer of air around your skin."

 

I got one of thoose woolies 4 days later. My! Never doubt the power of that small item. It helped, but I still felt the chill in my bones. On the 4th day, I wore a scarf around my neck. On the 5th day, I decided I needed gloves. So I went around the shopping mall, looking for wool gloves, and ended up buying two pairs of socks, 5 centimetres thick on each side. One pair for my hands, and one pair for my feet. That was because I couldn't find any gloves in the mall.

I wanted a pair of pajamas too, because my room didn't have a heater, and an air-conditioner which puffed out cigarette smoke. The sales promoter however, told me the largest size was with the waist of 26-27cm, 6cm smaller than my waist. As a result, I had to forfeit this purchase and wrapped myself in 4 layers , with a scarf, socks on my feet and hands and one really thin layer of quilt, in a freezing cold bed. I felt I was in the chiller every night!

Whenever I watch scenes of homeless people in the movies, warming up their hands by drums of burning fire in winter, rubbing their hands together when it's really cold, or huddled up in a ball, lying by the pavement in the night, shivering even though they're wearing a jacket, I didn't feel for them. It's just a movie and it's not real. It didn't strike a chord in me.

Yet, for 6 nights, as I lay on my bed, at seven degrees Celsius, pulling up my hood over my head and woolen socks up my limbs, tying the scarf around my neck,  I began to think, "Oh my gosh! So this is how the homeless feel when they're staying on the streets! It's so cold! How do they take it? How do they survive?"

The thing is, they can't! That's why so many people who are out on the streets have a short life span. On my 7th day, I began developing chest irritations. On my 8th day, mucus dripped down my nose. On my 9th day, I coughed and started splurting out green-yellowish phlegm. On my 10th day, I began feeling feverish and dizzy.

Then I knew, why there are many citizens who cough in countries with four seasons. To survive in these countries, one had to wear really warm clothings and live in heated accomodations. What if you could afford neither, or only one of the two? Do you think you can survive?

As I lay between the covers during those 6 nights, I knew, I can't. To survive in winter, both have to go hand in hand. Even if you're all wrapped up in insulated thermal wear, you'll be breathing in cold air! Your lungs will not be able to take it. Humans are meant to live in temperatures around 15-35 degrees Celcius. Beyond that, our bodies just cannot take it.

In Harbin, where the temperature reaches negative 40 degrees Celsius, teachers ensure their students swallow a daily pill which prevents swellings of joints in their limbs. It's so cold that even dew turns to ice in the morning.

As my stay in Beijing lengthened, so did empathy for my fellow humans. I got a taste, there and then, of what it felt like to be cold and not have any thermal wear or heated rooms; of what it meant to eat left over dishes in winter, even if your body yearned for hot food and all you could afford and find were these cold and pickled dishes; or why people smoked so much in winter, probably because breathing in hot smoke was cheaper than getting gas for heaters; or why some had serious body odour, because it's freezing out there, hot water is hard to come by, the bathroom is cold and you'd rather not bathe as the instant burning, soothing water pours down your neck, cold air around you turns it to ice immediately.

So, can I blame some people for being crude? That day, I learnt that I can't. Because a lot of people out there are fighting for survival. They are doing all they can to live for just one more day. Because life - it's the only thing we know. Who knows what happens after we step out of the circle of life?

"Jean!" I reminded myself. "You've got to start opening your eyes to the environment that these people are living in. It's not their fault that they're cold, conceited, demanding and dictative. Learn to feel for them. Start thawing the frost from the outside and melt the ice on the inside!"

Can I do it? Somehow, the attempts seem futile. Throw a starfish into the sea, and the waves wash it ashore yet again. I often wonder, "Why do I even bother!?! I just want to give them a taste of their own medicine!"

But you know what? They've been given the same medicine over and over again. They're immune to it by now. They need to be injected with something new. Something that the bacteria in their spirit does not identify. Something that they're confused with and are at a loss on how to respond. Infuse with love, sincerity, dignity and respect. That's the cure. Douse them, drip them, immerse them and live them. One day, they will melt, in and out, and recognize what it truly means to be alive.

With God, all things are possible. Never doubt that. You've experienced it. Others will too! It is just a matter of time. Keep your hopes up and trust in His everlasting, steadfast love for all mankind.

 

Differences - Emulsions & Miscibility

Some people say differences divide, like oil and water. Some say differences unite, like opposite sides of magnets attracting each other. What about you? Do you think differences unite or divide the human race?

 

Me? As usual, I elect to stand in the middle on the fence. It both unites and divides.

 

Ever since I was seconded to a Chinese company, I have gained the benefit of looking at the same coin from several angles, perhaps some more than the other. To rotate my view and see things from another perspective, requires a lot of listening, questioning and communicating.

 

Two weeks ago, I fell into yet another bout of identity conflict and dejection. I voiced my concern to my boss and this is what he said, "Jean! The world does not exist only in two colours. In life, nothing is ever absolutely black or white. Remember, the colour grey exists too. There are a lot of things that you just cannot place in the black or white category. Do you know where they belong? The category - grey. You must open your eyes to see the colour grey. Discern it, distinguish it and it will make the road you're travelling on a lot smoother."

 

It reminds me of how my mum used to knock me into shape whenever she got frustrated with me for being too much of an idealist. "The world is not a bed of roses, you know." She began. "Don't look at the world from your view. Put yourself into other people's shoes and think, 'what would you have done if you were in their situation?' Life is not that simple. It's not straightforward. It's complex and complicated."

 

But no matter what I do, I always view challenges as opportunities, disadvantages as a double edged swords, adversity as boot camps. I realize that if we refuse to see the hovering grey clouds, drizzle and rain drops, rainbows will always appear and the light will shine profusely, like stars in the dazzling night.

 

I remember the first time I ever worked with Chinese, I suffered from severe culture shock. First, I realized Chinese are very reserved. While I was used to greeting and being greeted anytime of the day, Chinese arrive at the office and more often than not, head straight to their desks and do not make eye contact with any of their colleagues, say "Hi!", "Good Morning!"or "Bye!". A whole day can go by without any conversation occuring among ten employees sitting in the same office. Whereas in my parent company, we chat, eat and discuss throughout the day. A lot of times, the lines get blurred in the latter. Work is integrated into family life, and family life is dragged to work.

 

Even though team building sessions are not 'rampantly' conducted in Chinese companies, everybody shares the same goal - increasing profit, reducing cost. In a company built on Western culture, individual gain such as self gratification rather than community benefits are sought after. Surprisingly, both parties attain the same goals through different approaches. While one is dictative and authoritarian, another focuses on developing people and provides ample room for creativity and freedom of implementation.

 

With Chinese, you never know what to expect. Nothing is ever what it seems. A simple meal may turn into a business deal. A jog in the park between acquaintances paves the way for the making of a new leader in the organization. The Chinese, I realize, can switch attitudes back and forth effortlessly, like the face-changing maskman onstage. You'd never discover which is the first layer, the last layer, or the true self underneath.

 

On the last day of my stay in Beijing, as I was checking out of the hotel, the receptionist I was dealing with received a phone call. She picked up the phone and began speaking to the client in the most sweetest, pleasant and most polite tone I have ever heard. A few seconds later, she pushes the button on her walkie talkie and starts berating her colleague in a loud and irritated tone. Suddenly, the phone rings again and she resumes talking in her girly, quaint and dainty tone. Wow! She was like a chameleon, changing colours all the time!

 

It is eerily similar to the attitudes of my colleagues in the office. One minute they could be asking me nicely about the weather and my family, the next minute they throw their weight around, shout, knocking their knuckles on the tables to nail and hammer a point across. It is intimidating. It is scary. I feel as if I'm in a volcano all the time. I don't know when it will erupt. The worst part is, there are no signs. It just explodes whenever it feels like it. There's not even a slight hint or warning. Working with Chinese is like working with a time bomb, blindfolded. 'Tick, tick, tick' You can hear the timer counting the seconds, but you can't see the wire or the clock.

 

Unlike Malaysians. They wear their emotions on their sleeves. Everything is clear and laid nicely on the table. Anybody who's angry scolds their workers. And if they are really angry, they would give the victim a silent treatment. But most of the time, they're smiling, laughing and generously lend hands to damsels in distress. Not so with Chinese. They smile when they're angry, scowl when everything goes their way. 

 

These days, I've learnt not to evaluate everything at face value. Sometimes, you've got to let the events play out and plan the next move. Call it what you may: cultural differences, philosophical differences. Everybody's playing the same game of chess with different moves and strategies. I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn. May the Lord grant me wisom and understanding to figure it all out.

 

Viva la Vida!

So, after spending ten days in Beijing, I am extremely excited to be back! Words cannot describe how much I've been looking forward to return to Dubai!

 

List of words that I've come up with while waiting for my flight at the airport:

Exhilaration, Excited, Relish, Delight, Joy, Rapture, Rejoice, Yahoo!, Yippee!

 

How about 'pleasure' and 'happy'? Oh no! Those descriptions are just too mild to describe my feelings right now.

 

Yes! Yes! Yes! I am finally going back to Dubai!!!

 

Wow! Are you so relieved that you're going back to Dubai? No more cool weather, no more bright sunny flowers, no more lush greenery... Are you really fine with that?

 

Yes! I am! I am so glad and delighted that I am finally going back! Back to the hot, sunny Dubai where I can feel the warmth from the sun and people. Back to the clean and dry streets where I won't be stepping on human oral excretion. Back to clean public washrooms where tissues, towels, soap and water are ever available. Back to a society where people speak civilly to each other and do not bark in constant annoyance. Back to a place where I can enjoy a hot cup of tea, with nobody staring at me; a place where I can jog, run and walk without fear of knocking into anybody; a country where I can surf on the web without encountering the warning, 'This site is restricted' for ninety percent of the links that I clicked (even though the information is purely technical and neutral); an environment where nostrils stinging cigarette smoke are banned indoors, replaced by fruit flavoured shisha outdoors; back to my nice, soft bed, lying on my fluffy pillows, wrapped between thick, warm layers of quilts and hole-less blankets. Back to my home-sweet-home!

 

Gosh! I am just so relieved to be back and relishing every minute of it! I am so excited that I want to run from Abu Dhabi to Dubai. I want to swim in the clear, blue, sparkling, shimmering waters of the Jumeira; place the soles of my feet on the soft, comforting sands of the Kite Beach; cook a dish of nice, simple, oil-less meal; stretch on a couch, surf websites, download papers and watch movies without restrictions.

 

Wow! I am finally back to where I belong! My niche, my home, my comfort zone.

 

I am back! And I am going to cherish every single minute of it!

 

Viva la Vida!

 

 

 

 

Fun - Humour & Laughter

I bet you knew a long, long time ago, that humour is the essence of life. Me? I just found out. Without it, how boring our lives would be! Laughter dissipates the queasy feeling welling up in us and eases up all the stress we are facing. It  loosens the tight knots that bind our lips and turns strangers into long time friends.

 

Since I have more time now to indulge in the simple things of life, I have time to engage people in conversation. These days, I realize that  the words I utter always seem strange and hillarious to others. I wonder why. One day, I was telling stories and my friend laughed 'til her jaw ached. Both of her hands held onto the jaw of her cheeks, tickled and in pain at the same time. Her twinkling eyes blinked like the stars as her eyelids shut and roared with laughter. ""Stop! Stop! Oh no! I can't take this anymore!" she pleaded with me. All the impish me wanted to do was make her laugh even more. haha.

Another time, a friend who had a dead knot in every single vein of his, smiled in absolute amazement, "Jean! I never realized that you are so funny."

Really? Seriously! I never knew too! Until I came to Dubai.

Me? I smile when I'm too shy to talk, wink when a cunning idea creeps up my head , laugh when I'm nervous, beam when I'm praised,  smirk when I'm sarcastic and burst when I'm tickled. Sometimes, when I am set on being resilient in the face of adversity, my remarks come across as being cynical. People around me get bewildered and don't know what to make out of it. Because people in general are envious and jealous of the greener grass on the other side, the best way to deflate that inflated balloon is to make a joke out of it and laugh it off.

Laughter is infectious. It's the miracle cure to life's so-called 'problems'. A problem remains a problem only until it's solved. Are there any problems that can't be solved? None. Because in God, everything is possible. So, just hang on until help arrives.

Meantime, think of all the ways you're growing because of it. When help comes, you would have recovered mentally and spiritually. Naturally, physical healing will definitely follow suit.

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Annecdotes:
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I'm a person who sometimes answers without giving much thought in advance. Once, as I was walking around my office premises in China, my office mate saw me taking pictures around the park.

Curious, he asked (in Mandarin), "Hey! What are you snapping?"

Without thinking, I answered, "Snapping pictures!"

My office mate, about 30 years older than me, looked bewildered, nodded and walked away.

On hindsight, I probably gave the wrong answer. I should have answered, "Oh! I'm snapping flora and fauna! (not pictures)"

Jean! Jean! Think before you talk!

Another time, I was having a conversation with the security team at the lobby. I was elated that I was finally back in Dubai, eagerly exclaiming, with both arms outstretched, "Wow! I am so glad to be back in Dubai! Anywhere's better than Dubai!"

As I walked out of the building, I evaluated my own replies and realized that it came out sounding all wrong! How could I have said 'I'm glad to be back in Dubai' in the first sentence, and say 'Anywhere else is better than Dubai' in the next?! Oh no! There is a major flaw in my sentence logic. What I meant to say was "Nowhere can be better than Dubai!"

This must be the effect of staying in China for too long! Translating Mandarin to English, English to Mandarin, resulting in the short circuit of one of the nerves in my brains.

Oh no! I really need to buck up and think on my feet!

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Truth - Naked & Bare

Ever thought of writing a comedy ?

Best way is to peel of layers of our masks that we've accumulated over the years, and expose the basics of human characteristics down to its very core. In short, see ourselves for who we really are.

 

Not so long ago, I was very keen on learning Arabic. I work with many Sudanese colleagues. So far, I've learnt how to say 'good morning', 'I'm fine' and 'thank you'in Arabic. So, one day, instead of saying 'tamam', I decided to learn how to say 'mir-mir (Excellent)!' , if somebody were to ask me, 'keif? (how are you?)'

 

Few days later, I got the opportunity to use it. I met an Egyptian colleague who asked me, "Keif?". and I chirped, "mir-mir!", feeling like the smartest girl in town.

 

The guy just made a straight face and went on talking to the Sudanese colleague, who by the way, is the one who taught me my new Arabic vocabulary. He interjects the conversation and said in Arabic that sounded like, "She just learnt  to say mir-mir, and is expecting you to praise her for her intelligence!"

 

He bursts out laughing, the Egyptian merely gives a tight smile. I blush from embarassment, for my eagerness to demonstrate my level of intelligence, and left humility standing outdoors in the biting frost.

 

These days, the world is turned completely upside down. We even have a name for it- civility, politeness,educated, etiquette, you name it. Just last week I was invited to a dinner at a posh restaurant. For our drinks, I ordered water. To which the waitress responded, "spring water or sparkling water?"

When I heard the word 'sparkling', images of sun beams bouncing off the waters flashed across my mind. Does she mean that the water glitters under the moonlight?

So imagine my surprise when she described 'sparkling water' as 'water that tastes like Sprite without sugar'. Oooh! It's carbonated water! Eeew! Who on earth came up with that idea? Oh my gosh!

My mum always said, "Call a spoon-a spoon, and a spade-a spade. Never call it by any other name. You'll confuse people." Which explains why I'm a pretty confused person. These days , I never know what's what anymore.

Want an example of educated society? Let me give you one.

 

A European family with fair complexion and blond hair is touring a village in India. Naturally, being of darker complexion. The villagers, having encountered them for the first time, gather around them, smile and start touching them to see if they are real.

 

Shift the scenario to the Western world. A Indian lady in a bright and colourful sari is walking along the streets of London on a sunny day. Everybody's curious and wondering,"Wow! Who's this pretty lady?" But nobody bats an eyelid. Instead, they tilt their head at an angle of one degree, with their eyeballs extended to the furthest corners of their vision, and try to sneak a peek at the lady across the street.

 

These days, we hide our desires and curiousity to fit into city-life, so much so that our true selves are beyond recognition. Many a times, we don't know who we really are and our purpose in life. Herein, lies the answer on why we need God-to reveal himself to us and from then on, we gradually get to know ourselves and fulfill  our individual destinies. Because trust me, if you don't know God, you may have all your heart's desires and you'll still feel an emptiness in your heart. Deep down, you want to know that God loves you just for who you are, not because you're somebody's daughter, a lawyer, a monk, a volunteer, or a philanthropist; nor because of your deeds, wealth, knowledge or position. He just loves. No 'if-s', no 'but-s', no 'and-s'.

 

Now, isn't that great?

 

God is knocking at your door. Are you ready to let Him in? Open it and you're in for the greatest journey of your life. Once your door is ajar, your search ends, and the journey of amazing discovery and transformation will take place right in front of your very eyes.
 

Love - Pure & Genuine

Today, I saw a toddler about 1 foot tall  holding onto her father who was 7 feet tall! All the while I heard her asking in her cute little girl voice,  "Daddy, where are we going?"

The Daddy was dressed up in this grey business suit, while the little girl was wearing a white dress and a pair of pink shoes. The Daddy carried a briefcase while the little girl had a doll.

 

Both of them were walking towards the train. Daddy took one step, and daughter  had to catch up with three steps. The scene looked like daddy strolling in the park, daughter tattling after Daddy, side by side.

 

Suddenly, I saw the most beautiful picture ever. The little girl was so tired of holding her doll after carrying it for some time. Then she said, "Daddy, I'm tired. Can you hold it for me pls?"

 

The father reaches out to her, picks up this white tattered doll with red hair and pink dress, and carries it in his arm as if it belonged right there. He didn't even scan the whole metro station to see if people were looking, or chided his daughter, "No no! What would people think?!"

 

Instead, he lovingly relieves the little girl's burden, speeding up her steps! Wow! That was one of the sweetest picture ever of a father-daughter walk.

 

If our father on earth treats us so well, what more our Father in Heaven? So, if you're tired, tell Him. And like that little girl, surrender your sorrows to Him. He'll listen, relieve you of it and you'll skip with flair, soar into the skies, diving like a dolphin in and out of the oceans !