I love my job. So much so that it engulfs my life in fiery flames. I devour work like a ferocious piranhas who viciously chews their victim. Every morning, the moment I open my eyes, my first thought is, "Hmm... what kind of work should I do today? Analysis? Reports? Email? Study?" Rarely a day goes by without me touching my work.
As a result, I am aloof. I space out regularly, and my mind wanders away from typical conversations that revolve around relationships and daily matters. My brother describes of me to others as being 'not quite here', as he gives a gentle, playful knock on my forehead.
Work is my life. I breath it, like a dragon who breathes fire. It defines who I am, gives me a reason to keep on living. Most of all, it keeps me happy. I derive much pleasure and joy from my work. The more I put in to keep up with the dynamic changes, the more questions I have. As the questions increase, the curiousity multiplies.
This process of learning seems to be a never ending cycle. Like a hamster, who's running on a runged, hamster wheel. This journey of information seeking is especially addictive. It takes a lot of strength just to stop running. It's hard though, when the gaining momentum fuels my pursuit and quenches my thirst.
Among my circle of acquaintances, there are few who share my perception. To them, work is something we do as a means of living. To me, work encompasses life. I derive too much joy from work that I often drown myself in it. Bobbing up and down in the bottomless sea, stuck so deep in this sticky, gluey stuff that even my friends and family can't pull me out of.
My family often remind me that I have other roles to play simultaneously, i.e. as a daughter, a sister, a niece and a cousin. The endless demands and hopes forces me to reconcile with the fact that I am not just an engineer, but also a person with flesh and blood and other abounding responsibilities.
Mingling with the people here for the past few days, I find that there are others who are just like me. We love our jobs tremendously. To tear ourselves away from it, would be like breaking our hearts into two. No matter how we try to compartmentalize our lives into work and social life, it becomes excruciatingly painful to separate one from the other. Often, we find that they are closely intertwined.
So, between work and life, it is a constant compromise of finding the balanced proportions. Ultimately it is our priorities that determine how we distribute our time between these two grey areas. Right now, to me, my work, is still my life. Take it away from me, and I'll probably be flinching, sulking and in absolute misery.
Perhaps, in time to come, I might be able to take off my Wizard of Oz green spectacles, see everything for what it is, and come to terms with reality.
This process of learning seems to be a never ending cycle. Like a hamster, who's running on a runged, hamster wheel. This journey of information seeking is especially addictive. It takes a lot of strength just to stop running. It's hard though, when the gaining momentum fuels my pursuit and quenches my thirst.
Among my circle of acquaintances, there are few who share my perception. To them, work is something we do as a means of living. To me, work encompasses life. I derive too much joy from work that I often drown myself in it. Bobbing up and down in the bottomless sea, stuck so deep in this sticky, gluey stuff that even my friends and family can't pull me out of.
My family often remind me that I have other roles to play simultaneously, i.e. as a daughter, a sister, a niece and a cousin. The endless demands and hopes forces me to reconcile with the fact that I am not just an engineer, but also a person with flesh and blood and other abounding responsibilities.
Mingling with the people here for the past few days, I find that there are others who are just like me. We love our jobs tremendously. To tear ourselves away from it, would be like breaking our hearts into two. No matter how we try to compartmentalize our lives into work and social life, it becomes excruciatingly painful to separate one from the other. Often, we find that they are closely intertwined.
So, between work and life, it is a constant compromise of finding the balanced proportions. Ultimately it is our priorities that determine how we distribute our time between these two grey areas. Right now, to me, my work, is still my life. Take it away from me, and I'll probably be flinching, sulking and in absolute misery.
Perhaps, in time to come, I might be able to take off my Wizard of Oz green spectacles, see everything for what it is, and come to terms with reality.
~"Oh Lord! Please grant me the wisdom of discernment."~
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