One Year After Paris

It's been a year after I came back from Paris. I miss it. I miss my school, my friends, my professors. Most of all, I miss my life and being myself.

How long can one stay in a state of mourning? Am I now mourning the loss of my previous new found life?

Then again, it was once said, "Every ending is a new beginning".

A new chapter of my life has begun and I must celebrate it. The fact that I am able to mentor and inspire women, young and old alike, is something that I have wanted to do for a long time. Especially after I got a taste of what it was like to be mentored by somebody wiser and more matured, and who was rooted in the Word of God. Everybody needs a word of encouragement every now and then. We need to hear an uplifting word.

Today, I will declare this day as the end of my mourning, and the celebration of my new beginning. And I have every intention to resolve and do the following:

• I will be brave and face all trials and tribulations head on from now on. 
• I will face life. 
• I will live life. 
• I will live up to my calling. 
• I will be myself. 
• I will voice my opinions. 
• I will express myself and articulate my feelings. 
• I will write more, read more and talk less. 
• I will keep my opinions to myself. 
• I will control my tongue, my thoughts and my actions.
• I will take it one step at a time. 
• I will move on.
• I will be clear of my goals. 
• I will use God's word as my yard stick, my ruler and my scale. 
• I will lead a new life. 
• I will be courageous. 
• I will be brave.
• I will have faith in my work. 
• I will work with a purpose. 
• I will trust God and believe in Him. 
• I will believe in love, no matter how fragile and how faint it may seem. 
• I will love myself. 
• I will love others. 
• I will take a stand.
• I will keep in touch with all my friends.
• I will praise somebody everyday and find something good to say about everybody.
• I will appreciate my family members, my colleagues and my bosses and all my friends around me.
• I will contribute in every single way possible, in every area and every domain. This includes my home, my family, my social circle, not just at work. 
• I will believe that every person I meet is a guardian angel in disguise.
• I will ask more, seek more and act more. 
• I will only talk if my opinions will encourage or build others up or invoke thought or progression. 
• I will speak more with people who are in their 60s and above. They have so much stories to share. They have such enriching life experiences! 

And these are the things I have resolved not to do:

• I will not let others rule my life or influence my decisions. 
• I will not indulge in self pity. 
• I will not be emotionally threatened. 
• I will not indulge in gossip. 
• I will not air my dirty laundry in public. 
• I will not complain.
• I will not take anybody for granted.
• I will not cry, even if I feel like it. 
• I will not budge a single centimetre, if somebody threatens me in something I believe with conviction. 
• I will not let others affect my emotions. 
• I will not sit on the fence. 
• I will not run away from life. 

I hope that I will be able to keep all these resolutions and make a significant and positive change in my life and others. May I be able to shine some light when the world seems so dim and dark. May I be an advocate to others who are in need of help and a voice. May I help them to be lifted out of their misery. May I inspire them to be self sufficient and create a bright and glorious and victorious future for themselves and their families. 

Yes. I will endure and I will persevere. I will not give up. I will stick to my goals and never lose sight of it. Focus, Jean, focus! 

All that suffering , all that precious lessons, and memories are not for naught!