Journey of Self Discovery

So here I am, almost a year and a half in Dubai and I am falling more and more in love with it by the day. And I know exactly why.

 

It's because I have found my niche of friends and adapted very well here. I've found out what it really means to live. I am now able to define and discover my own true self, finding out my likes and dislikes, my desires and indifferences, my mission, vision, career goals, ambition, principles and philosophies that I live by.

 

Surprisingly, despite its large surface area (16 times larger than Kuala Lumpur), and higher population density (1.3 times more than Kuala Lumpur), I love it. In Dubai, it is easier to navigate through the streets and get my daily groceries. I travel on trains and ride in cabs driven by racers. I know exactly where to get the things that I want. No traffic jams, no rain, no sweat, no pressure. Perfect.

 

I also find that I am more decisive these days. Before, I spent 4 hours and a day debating with myself on whether I should get that dress or pair of shoes, or what to eat for every meal. Nowadays, I do things after thinking only about 3 times (maximum), sometimes, I don't even think about it. I just do it, observe what happens next and learn from my mistakes.

 

Nowadays, I also tend not to take words and events very seriously. If somebody says something offensive or negative, I've learnt to brush it off and not take it to heart. If something bad happens, I look at it on the bright side.

 

I'm overjoyed about the fact I'm living all by myself with absolute freedom. Sometimes, to create a balance, I shed a few tears after watching dramatic soap operas, just for old times' sake.

 

In Malaysia, I am often conforming to the expectations of others, my family and my company. But in Dubai, I have the freedom to assert myself, and express my thoughts without being constantly afraid of being penalized or 'undiplomatic'. I have the freedom to mingle with whomever I wish and not hanging out with a person out of fear of being an outcast.

 

I also found that freedom might come at a cost. But to get a taste of absolute freedom, is like dipping yourself in a pool of outdoor hotspring in winter. You'll never get enough of it, and only yearn more and more for it. Even though it is impossible to obtain absolute freedom in this world, to get a taste of it, is more than enough. Never forget what it'd be like for in heaven, it will be a billion, zillion times exhilarating than this.

 

I just discovered that my hobbies are relatively simple and little. I love reading, writing, travelling, and trying new things. For example, balooning, skydiving, shooting, diving, archery, white-water rafting, swinging up and down from 30 feet platform, etc.

I may be an idealist at times, to the ire and irate of many men and women, who prompt me every now and then to see the world for what it really is. No black, no white, no colour. Just grey. I love the story of the workman who was stacking bricks and said, "I'm building a cathedral." Being able to look beyond your job, see the big picture and the impact it has on society and the community is a valuable characteristic.

 

Oh! By the way, I also love digesting technical journals and papers and reading up on global issues in the night and on weekends. Something which not many understand and take it that I am working hard and cracking my brains, which they always respond with a 'poor Jean'... when in fact, I am enjoying every minute of it. I am very privileged to have the chance to meet several world renowned technical experts and leaders who lead and teach because they have a vision and not because it is compulsory.

 

I also discover that I can actually cook up some lovely dishes for more than 10 people too! Plus, I come up with the most creative and value added ideas when I'm left all alone to figure it out by myself.

 

I know now, for a fact, that I can excel in anything I do, as long as I put my mind and heart into it. I am determined, focused and committed to the development of future generation. Petroleum engineering is the very thing gives me something to look forward to every single day and Christ is the living core of my very own soul.

 

I love God's word because it guides me at all times, like a lighthouse in the dark night. And I know that God is with me all the time, hence, I have nothing to fear. If He can part waters and create springs from rocks, raise the dead and multiply bread, he can definitely change all dark circumstances to a bright, colourful and hopeful world.

 

The most important thing is, I've learned so far, is that we are all responsible for our own actions and decisions. Don't blame the world. Be accountable. Squeeze your creative juices to find your own solutions.

The world may knock and pinch you into shape, but God is the one who keeps you in shape.

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