Like Fire and Ice

As I stay here longer, I begin to note a distinct difference between Asians and Westerners.

 

Asians have a popular saying,  "It's God's will" in many different languages. When anything bad happens, we have a tendency to shrug our shoulders and say, "Oh, well! It's fate!" When good things happen, we say, "Oh! This must be my destiny!"

 

Speak to a Westerner, and you'll immediately notice that these vocabulary rarely appear in a conversation. It's almost non-existent. When a Westerner encounters adversities, they'll ask, "Why?!" When happy events occur, they'll say, "You deserve it!"

 

Asians also have high perseverance. Throw us a challenge and we will grit our teeth, persevere, and tell ourselves, "Patience! Patience! A little sacrifice goes a long, long way." Westerners will express instant dissatisfaction, reasserting themselves, saying "This is my right! Justify your decisions."

 

Both parties also possess different approaches when solving problems. Throw a Westerner and an Asian in the same room to solve a puzzle. You'll see the Asian sitting and thinking silently, working out all the equations and visualizations in his head. The minute the Westerner sees the puzzle, he will begin talking non-stop and thinking aloud.

 

The Westerner looks at the Asian and thinks, "He's so silent, I don't think he knows anything." The Asian peeks at the Westerner and thinks, "He's talking too much, like an empty vessel."

 

In terms of child-rearing, it differs vastly too. Asians are over-protective. Parents loom over their children forever, from the day they start crying, up to the days their children have their own grandchildren. They precide over their child's every decision, even their marriage date and the names of their children's children. In Asian culture, children will always be seen as babies, no matter how old you are.

 

Westerners are less over-bearing. They equip their children with life-long survival skills from Day-1. By the time they reach 18, they drop them down from the top of the tallest tree on the mountains by the sea, and tell them, "Flap your wings and fly! You're an adult now! Go out and carve a nest for yourself!"

 

Hereby, lays the distinction which divides the Asian and the Westerner like the Berlin wall. In most cases: the Asian may feel helpless and leave it all up to the heavens; the Westerner thinks he owns the world, flying anywhere he likes without any apprehensions and considerations.

 

As a result, when it comes to hospitality, Asians tend to slip into the shoes of their visitors and cater to their every whim and fancy. The sense of accountability for those who reside under their roofs is exceedingly high. Westerners on the other hand organize a free and easy tour for their visitors, saying, "I'll provide you food and lodging, and for the rest of the day, you may venture out and discover the world from your own eyes."

 

Who's to say then, which is good or bad?

 

Fire warms us up in winter, ice cools us down in summer.

 

Both methods works most effectively in different seasons. Blending both approaches will bring out the best of both worlds.

View of an Expat

Lately, after my short stint in Beijing, I have been sceptical about Beijing in general - cold weather, cold people, cold food. Each time after I came back, I will always lament about the bitter stuff. No recollection of sweet moments whatsover. Little did I know that this was too bad, and a great loss to me. Until I spoke to ä business development manager recently.

 

In a recent conversation, I found out that this manager had worked in China for more than six years! Just to make small talk, I asked him, "So, how's China? Was it hard?" expecting grouses and lamentations, just like me.

 

To my surprise, he answered, "Well, it was interesting!"

 

Interesting? How can that be?!

 

Suddenly, it dawned upon me that an expatriate will always need to be positive and bright at all times. Apart from that, expats ought not to expect people from another country to act, talk, walk and eat like them. There are different cultures in diffferent countries. We can't say they're rude, rough or uncivilized etc. Just think, had we been born there, we would have done everything exactly like them. 

 

Expats needs to be mobile all the time. If they can't adapt and embrace the new culture, they will always remain the same in terms of perceptions and lifestyle. Ultimately, they'll still remain the same when compared to the first day they came. So, in my opinion, true expats need to be flexible and adaptable, and mingle a lot with the locals. Otherwise, one might better off be working in their own home country, where they might be most happy living with people they know best and conform to their expectations.

 

Want to be an expat? First, erase all your preconceptions, welcome the shocking change with open arms and do something new in your fresh surroundings everday.

Journey of Self Discovery

So here I am, almost a year and a half in Dubai and I am falling more and more in love with it by the day. And I know exactly why.

 

It's because I have found my niche of friends and adapted very well here. I've found out what it really means to live. I am now able to define and discover my own true self, finding out my likes and dislikes, my desires and indifferences, my mission, vision, career goals, ambition, principles and philosophies that I live by.

 

Surprisingly, despite its large surface area (16 times larger than Kuala Lumpur), and higher population density (1.3 times more than Kuala Lumpur), I love it. In Dubai, it is easier to navigate through the streets and get my daily groceries. I travel on trains and ride in cabs driven by racers. I know exactly where to get the things that I want. No traffic jams, no rain, no sweat, no pressure. Perfect.

 

I also find that I am more decisive these days. Before, I spent 4 hours and a day debating with myself on whether I should get that dress or pair of shoes, or what to eat for every meal. Nowadays, I do things after thinking only about 3 times (maximum), sometimes, I don't even think about it. I just do it, observe what happens next and learn from my mistakes.

 

Nowadays, I also tend not to take words and events very seriously. If somebody says something offensive or negative, I've learnt to brush it off and not take it to heart. If something bad happens, I look at it on the bright side.

 

I'm overjoyed about the fact I'm living all by myself with absolute freedom. Sometimes, to create a balance, I shed a few tears after watching dramatic soap operas, just for old times' sake.

 

In Malaysia, I am often conforming to the expectations of others, my family and my company. But in Dubai, I have the freedom to assert myself, and express my thoughts without being constantly afraid of being penalized or 'undiplomatic'. I have the freedom to mingle with whomever I wish and not hanging out with a person out of fear of being an outcast.

 

I also found that freedom might come at a cost. But to get a taste of absolute freedom, is like dipping yourself in a pool of outdoor hotspring in winter. You'll never get enough of it, and only yearn more and more for it. Even though it is impossible to obtain absolute freedom in this world, to get a taste of it, is more than enough. Never forget what it'd be like for in heaven, it will be a billion, zillion times exhilarating than this.

 

I just discovered that my hobbies are relatively simple and little. I love reading, writing, travelling, and trying new things. For example, balooning, skydiving, shooting, diving, archery, white-water rafting, swinging up and down from 30 feet platform, etc.

I may be an idealist at times, to the ire and irate of many men and women, who prompt me every now and then to see the world for what it really is. No black, no white, no colour. Just grey. I love the story of the workman who was stacking bricks and said, "I'm building a cathedral." Being able to look beyond your job, see the big picture and the impact it has on society and the community is a valuable characteristic.

 

Oh! By the way, I also love digesting technical journals and papers and reading up on global issues in the night and on weekends. Something which not many understand and take it that I am working hard and cracking my brains, which they always respond with a 'poor Jean'... when in fact, I am enjoying every minute of it. I am very privileged to have the chance to meet several world renowned technical experts and leaders who lead and teach because they have a vision and not because it is compulsory.

 

I also discover that I can actually cook up some lovely dishes for more than 10 people too! Plus, I come up with the most creative and value added ideas when I'm left all alone to figure it out by myself.

 

I know now, for a fact, that I can excel in anything I do, as long as I put my mind and heart into it. I am determined, focused and committed to the development of future generation. Petroleum engineering is the very thing gives me something to look forward to every single day and Christ is the living core of my very own soul.

 

I love God's word because it guides me at all times, like a lighthouse in the dark night. And I know that God is with me all the time, hence, I have nothing to fear. If He can part waters and create springs from rocks, raise the dead and multiply bread, he can definitely change all dark circumstances to a bright, colourful and hopeful world.

 

The most important thing is, I've learned so far, is that we are all responsible for our own actions and decisions. Don't blame the world. Be accountable. Squeeze your creative juices to find your own solutions.

The world may knock and pinch you into shape, but God is the one who keeps you in shape.

(",)
 

 

Work? What's that?

What is work ?
It is but a means of living.
It doesn't cry with you when you are sad,
Or laugh with you when you're happy,
Or cheer you up when you are desperate,
Or talk to you at home when you're alone.

What is work?
Work is but a tool to get what we want.
Recognition, praises, commendation,
Salary, house, car, education,
Holidays and a future ,
These are but a few.

What is work?
It is not an emergency escape route from the troubles of the world ,
Nor is it a battlefield where we must win every single time,
Nor a bottomless gold mine which grows bigger every day.

Confused?
A day in the mountains will clear the clouds in your head. Not work
Dejected?
A minute with your loved ones is all it takes. Not work.
Stressed?
An outing with your friends will relax your tensed muscles. Not work.
Angry? Sad? Frustrated?
Take a vacation. It will do the magic. Not work.

Wait a minute.
Why are you feeling all these anyway?
Isn't it all because of work in the first place?

So, remember, my friend,
Eternal Hope-is in God,
Eternal Faith-is from Christ.
Eternal Love-is planted in us and all around us.
Eternal solace and comfort-is in God.