First Thoughts

Having lived in Dubai for almost six weeks, I have to admit it is a really nice place to stay in. It's peaceful, it's calm, it's quiet. Unlike KL, you don't hear police and ambulance sirens wailing every three hours, or loud motorbikes testing their roaring machines and exhaust systems. It's nice. I like it here. 

If anybody were to interview me as an expatriate in Dubai, this is probably how it would go. 

What's your first impression about Dubai?

It's flamboyant. Everything is extravagant. For the average Joe-s like you and I, it's like living the life of the rich and famous. 

You just can't deny it. After all, this is a city which has air-conditioned bus stops, developers who spend millions and billions on building artificial islands, plus having hundreds and thousands of cars (Lexus, Mercedez, BMW, ... ) in parking lots around the city covered in dust for five years and above! 

Nothing is ever done in moderation. Furniture look like it's fit for a king's palace. The floors sparkle, as if they magically polish themselves every second.

Did I mention that they put a shiny, red Mini Cooper in the aquarium too?

Seems to me this a strange and mysterious land where the impossible becomes possible, your wildest dreams materialize, stuns and strikes one speechless. Transfixed. Mesmerized. Awed. The longer you live here, the more you believe that everything is possible.

What do you find strange in Dubai? Anything incomprehensible?

Well, one of the most preposterous rule that I found was that one would be fined for boarding a bus without pre-paid card, even though the bus-ride is free. If it's free, why do you need to tag it on the machine?

Another rule is being fined for alighting from the left side of the vehicle, instead of the right. Maybe it's for the passengers' safety. 

Did you also know that people do end up in prison for kissing in public here? 

In M'sia, I once spotted a couple kissing the French way on the train, with the guy's hands running all over the girl's hair, neck, and body curves. Malaysians, being polite people, we just averted out eyes to the ceilings or towards windows. Everywhere except at the couple. I think the couple was pretty lucky because in KL, nobody really cares what you do as long as you don't encroach into their space and step on their tails. You live your life, I'll live mine. 

Since this is your first overseas posting, do you find it easy to adapt to the Dubai lifestyle?
Well, I have to admit, at first it was tough. Being new and all, I realized that I have to re-create my own life here again. Once again, I venture out at all costs to try out new adventures, crawl out of my shell to strike conversations with strangers and finding common ground as a basis for building a long-lasting relationship. In the process, I learnt that to survive, I need to be really resilient and positive. Take time to analyze the situation and response.

I also have to adjust my mindset a little to the driving system of UAE. As a Malaysian child, we have been taught to 'look right, look left, look right, and cross the road". In Dubai, my brain cells are all jumbled up. When the road is empty, I still look to the right first unconsciously. As I take three steps towards the road, cars start honking and screeching four feet away from me. I jump ten steps backwards, reminding myself to be more careful next time, reprimanding myself, "Jean! Remember! In Dubai, it's always left first!"

This change of system can be pretty dangerous. Once I spotted an Indian man taking the escalator on his left up to another floor. He stepped forward two steps, only to be tripped and pushed down by the oncoming mechanical steps. He stumbled, quickly turned around to make sure that nobody saw it happening, before proceeding to the right escalator up. There and then, I realized, "Hey! I'm not the only one."

One of the things that I really need to adapt to here is the freedom to venture out at any time of the day, as a single lady, walking unaccompanied. As soon as I step into any shops or vehicles, the first question asked by any males will be, "Are you single?"

The moment I answer 'yes', truthfully, they will volunteer to drive me to my destination right to the door step of any apartment, pro-actively write their mobile numbers on a piece of paper, asking me to call them when I wish to talk to somebody, or unwaveringly, persistently ask me out for dinner or drinks at one of the multicultural-themed bars Downtown Dubai. If I refuse, they will stalk me as I walk in and out of the shop, leaving twenty missed calls on my phone.

Once I sent a text message to the wrong number and the person immediately called me up to ask about my personal details and history! I really need to heighten my defence mechanisms, observation skills here. Watch out for warning signs, and don't look so vulnerable.

I hear you love Dubai. What is it about Dubai that appeals to you?

I have always yearned to work overseas. Perhaps it is to escape from all the tiny, tricky perils I face back home. Here, I'm freed from the cuffs of work stress, family stress and financial stress. There is absolute freedom and liberty. That, is pretty appealing. 

Ah, yes, I can just imagine. So, tell us, what have you learned in Dubai so far?

Hmmm... quite a lot actually. To sum it up in five words, 'Rediscovering life's simple joys'. 

Such as... ?

Well, for example:

- Reading as you sip a cup of coffee by the fountain

- Pouring stories from your heart after dinner in a dimly lit restaurant with pop music in the background

- Strolling by the beach on a Saturday morning

- Riding camels on the desert in summer

- Reuniting with your family 5000 kilometres away from home

- Encountering a fellow countrymen at any random shopping mall

- Listening to classical music radio station in the middle of the night

- Aerobics to Hindi music in the morning 

- Lying under the stars on sand dunes

- Enjoying sunsets in the evening from the many windows of your apartment

- Watching the sun inching upwards in the mornings

- Reading a wide variety of books on a Friday afternoon

Indeed! Life is very blissful. You must find life here pretty inspirational.

Absolutely! We must enjoy all the circumstances that we are thrown in. We all know that there is a silver lining in every cloud. In order to see it, you have to believe it. Otherwise your vision will be clouded by the rain. A rainbow is just around the corner. Keep on walking. The sight that greets you at the end of your journey will be awesome. 

Any situation that you are thrown in are a consequence of your actions. You are responsible for it directly or indirectly. Either way, you just have to persevere and stop complaining. Figure out a way. Work around the problem, not at it.

To get what you want, there isn't only one way of doing it. Utilize varied approaches to accomplish your desires. If you ask and don't get it, ask again. Be persistent. If that doesn't help, try the elimination method.  

First, eliminate all the impossible possibilities. Next, piece all the puzzles together and cook up a story. Finally deduce, hypothesize and conclude. There. It's easy.

If you spend too much time evaluating, life's opportunities will just pass you by. Take risks. It's worth it. 

As a single, it must be pretty tough living here all alone in Dubai. How do you combat loneliness and avoid it from encompassing one's life? 

In Dubai, you're pretty much free to do anything you want. There's nobody to judge you, to criticize you for the ways that you live. 

But sometimes, no matter how tight you arrange your schedule to be, loneliness will silently creep and settle into the creeks of your soul. No matter how much you try to run and hide away from it, like the tsunami, it will eventually catch up with you. You can't run away from it. So, what do you do?

One of the most important thing that I learned early on is, every so often, we need to take a step back, breathe, and realize that we need to diversify. Don't allow the focus of one area to envelope our life. If it does, it can be smothering. We should find a way to work around work.  There is a life out there. Go! Live a life! 

In the face of adversity, rebound fast. Don't lick your own wounds for too long. There are far more pressing matters in this world than your own wounded pride and ego.

Make new friends. You'll always need them, even though you might not think so now. 

Love yourself. If you don't love yourself, how are you going to love others? 

Get a tight grasp of reality and what you really want ultimately. It is never too late to start pursuing your dreams. Everything is possible. It's never too late to start. 

If there's only one take home message from this article, what would it be? 

In life, nothing is absolute. Every description is a subjective term is made in reference to one another. It depends not only on which side of the fence you are on, but also from which angle you are looking at. 

A grey area will always exists. Black, or white? Right, or wrong? Pretty, or ugly? Long, or short? Bent, or straight? It all depends on how you choose to look at it. Remember, we always have a choice. 

It's not simple, it's not complicated either. That's just the way life is, just as it has been for centuries, a constant change. Unpredictable. Wild. Exciting. Like love. 

You just need to know how to mix everything together to concoct a nice pink drink of sunshine cocktail. 

Sunshine Cocktail - Key Secrets to a Happy Life!