Deliberating between Temptations & Options

Last week, over dinner with one of my bosses, I proposed myself to go to Venezuela for an assignment! The thought of working fixed days on and fixed days off sounded extremely tempting! Plus, it's Venezuela! South America! It'd be the first time I'll be stepping onto American continent!

I have many plans if I have my days off while in Venezuela. I'll get to visit Angel Falls, Columbia, Brazil, Costa Rica, Peru, Argentina, Hawaii... and Texas! Oh! I can visit my cousins in Suriname too, for the very first time! Ahh.. I'll get the opportunity to learn and speak Spanish too! Another language. Wow! It will be real fun!

But... between Imperial College and Venezuela, which should I choose? Oh my gosh.. so tough...

Jean, you can't have everything in life! Take it step by step, please.

Consider the following:

Which is more important? Studies or fun? Money or Knowledge? Life or career? Survival or competition? There are so many perspectives to choose from, how to decide which angle should I look from?

I guess you should start with knowing your priorities by asking yourself the following questions:

• Which do you cherish more and why?
• What are the actions that you can only implement now and not later?
• What are the consequences of you choosing each option?
• Which choice makes you most happy and satisfied?

Let's begin with the first aspect.

 

#1: Studies or fun?
The Chinese have a saying, 'You'll only savour the sweetness after swallowing the bitter.' And so it is with life. No pain, no gain. Even though studying may be taxing on the mind, experiencing the stress of going through multiple exam cycles, but it will be worth it. You will emerge to be a more confident engineer, who is able to think logically, in a structured and more organized manner. You will be able to make informed decisions and develop wholesome ideas. You'll be able to conduct fruitful discussions. You will be a well-rounded engineer, instead of a mere rookie who works based on instinct, plot graphs according to a few random journals and run around the bush without a sense of direction.

 

Everybody should acquire a skill. These are the tools of an engineer. Without tools, how can one work? One should not work, just solely based on the random tools selected, provided and specified by the organization or a panel of reviewers. One should be able to independently identify the tools that they require before they start work. And the tools that en engineer ought to possess include strategic thinking, formulating development plans, brainstorming for options and justifying decisions based on its value of information and economics.

 

No doubt one can learn on the job. But how many years does it take to learn everything? Today, everything is about speed. The faster you gain something, the higher you'll be able to fly. With the present scenario where companies are actively recruiting young professionals in their mid-career, one senses that the industry is in need of manpower. Not just anybody is suitable for the job. They need one who is experienced and willing to work. In some organizations, the turn over rates are in double or triple digits. The high workload, high stress, stiff competition, skewed compensation scales, increasing crime rates and heavy traffic jams prompt many to run out of the country in the pursuit of job satisfaction, quality of life and better salary packages.

 

But, where am I now? Have I attained it? Is it sustainable? This is the question that I ask myself, over and over again. Whenever I return to my home country, I realize that it is not. Everything that I have is temporary. I will have to give it up eventually.

 

How can I make it permanent? That, can only be through studies, so that I can be on par with the rest of the engineers in the world and speak knowledgeably about what I do best and provide sound and practical advice.

 

So, Jean, Please study. Do not become too comfortable in your temporary lodgings. Because if you do, you will be in for many disappointments that are yet to come.

 

Don't go seeking cheap thrills and short term fun. What you want is something long-lived; something that can hopefully last as long as possible; something which thrives through all times; something - sustainable.

 

Studies first. Fun is sprinkled in, throughout and across your life.

#2: Money or Knowledge?
There comes a time when one has to evaluate whether focus on finances or pursuit of knowledge is more important. However, that is usually in the later part of one's career. Whilst one is young, with less than ten years experience, it is important to build up one's knowledge database. By knowing how to do the work and actually putting it into action, your credibility and marketability will be enhanced. So, why are you still hesitating?

 

Knowledge first. Finances follow.

 

Quote from my well, beloved friend, "Knowledge is something that nobody can ever take away from you."

#3: Life or Career?
Here comes the common debate between work-life balance. Is it possible to create equal weightage between the two largest aspects of our life?

 

For the first few years, everybody struggles when starting out at a new workplace and new environment. In mid-career, things start getting much easier as one starts figuring how everything works.

 

I think if one has a family in mid-career stage, it is easier to set everything in perspective. If one is still single, and a job is the only thing that ensures your survival, it is pretty clear cut, because it's the only thing you have ultimately when all else is shaved off. For example, when you realize that you've suddenly become the breadwinner, or when you realize that all your sibblings are married with their own families. It is a slight exaggerration, but one which stems from reality of life, fact and truth.

 

Here is what I think. The development of my career path enables me to have a quality of life. It is not a question of balance between the two, but rather a matter of prioritization and ultimate objectives.

 

How should I go about attaining quality of life? Through focusing on my career. At the same time, I should alwys make time for myself, because I need it. It's just in my personality. Without some alone time, if I am surrounded by people all the time, I will be so stressed out. I will go cranky and out of my mind. I need time  to myself to rejuvenate, refresh and bounce back to action.

 

Working overseas has taught me that the company doesn't require one to do everything all at once. Everyone is given a reasonable duration to deliver. If it is not, it's not the end of the world. There is always room for negotiation.

 

Life moulds its shape around the choices you make.

 

Opportunity only knocks at your door once. When it does, for the second time, you better grab it. Don't let it fly away only to regret it much later in life.

 

Once you've made a decision, don't look back and ponder 'What if...' .

 

Never regret. Instead, look ahead to to see how much brighter your future will be and how colourful your present life is.

 

#4: Survival or Competition?
If life is about survival, everybody would be pretty happy and contented, as long as they have a roof over their heads, with sufficient food and love. Most of the time, such is not the case. People compete with themselves or others. Clambering over each other's heads only to surface for air much later on. We work not for any other reasons, just to make ends meet and enjoy it as much as possible.

 

This is what life is. If you're not loving it, maneuver your circumstances.

 

It's simple. Don't complicate it.

 

Persevere, persevere. Don't lose sight of your dream just because you can't feel it. It's there, deep down there! It's there every single time you go back home.

 

Be determined! Focus! Focus! Focus!

 

Jean, please go to IC. After all, it's only one year!

 

There are somethings that you can only do when you are young and without any commitments. This is one of them.

 

Education is the key to liberation from poverty of your heart, mind and soul. Be its advocate! Dream it, live it, breathe it, Jean. You know, you absolutely need it and it is what you want from the bottom of your heart, deep deep down.  

 

 

~ "Whatever you do, don't give up Imperial College! It's your key to a better and brighter future!" ~
~ It's your ticket to travel around the world! ~

Never forget, you are just one more step closer to attaining your dream.
You are almost there.
See Link Here.

Determination is what's required;
Visualize your direction,
That's where you're heading next.

India: Pre-Impression

Three weeks ago, I received a surprise invitation for an all expenses paid trip to Chennai, India to give a talk at a university. Naturally, I agreed without a single moment's hesitation as I had never been to India, and it would be my first time!

I was so excited about it that I announced it to almost every one I met for three weeks! Nevertheless, my enthusiasm was met with suspicious looks and dubious, cautious questions. Apparently, in the eyes of my circle of friends, I had not given proper thought about the whole invitation. They asked me funny questions like:

""Jean! Is the university legitimate? How did you hear about it?"

Given my ignorance, I shrugged my shoulders and answered, "Umm... It should be. It organized an education forum here in Dubai, inviting experts from all relevant industries, attended by technical experts and managers from various companies."

After which I went back to my trusty laptop and immediately started Googling up the education institution's background, chronological history, board of committee, its students etc. Oh well, it does look legitimate. It must be legitimate, otherwise it wouldn't be able to hold such a big conference at a hotel, right?

Then, another friend exclaimed, "Jean! You're going to India? Oh my gosh! Haven't you heard? India's classified as yellow danger zone right now. Don't you know about the recent woman who was gang-raped and murdered? I tell you, you better not go. You, a woman, and single, plus, you'll be a tourist in a foreign land, it all increases the risk of you being there. Exposed to all sorts of danger. Why would you want to go? Have you even thought carefully about it? I think you should just cancel it."

Oh no! That would be devastating! I mean, the inviter sounded really sincere. And he was so enthusiastic about me coming, and I was extremely fired-up about going there too! I can't disappoint them and myself! After all, what are the possibilities of such chances dropping by again? No no... I have to take it up. Even if it is 'risky'. So, I made up my mind and went ahead with the visa application process.

A few days later, another acquaintance finds out and goes, "Ahh! India! People, people everywhere!"

Suddenly, I conjured up an image of me lost in a multitude. So, I made plans with the coordinator to have someone pick me up at the airport, and got all the relevant contact details.

One day before I'm supposed to travel to India, my concerned colleague who stayed in Bangalore for a year, warned me, "Oh.. you have to be very careful over there. There are tricksters, conmen. Always keep your belongings with you. Don't talk to strangers. Don't take any pipe water. Always drink bottled water. Don't eat at the roadside stalls. Always eat at established restaurants. Don't give alms to little kids who come running up to you. Otherwise, the whole bunch of them will throng up to you."

Ahh... hygiene, self defense and protection. Ok. I got it.

Before I even got on the plane to India, people around me warned me all about it. All warnings. No nice, rosy remarks.

But, since this is my first time, I might as well dismiss all fears and dispel all negative thoughts. After all, conmen exists in every part of the world, even Dubai. Hygiene? How do you know that the food that you're served is thoroughly clean and void of bacteria? In life, there are no 100% guarantees.

Thus, I mustered up all my courage and braced myself for the travel to Chennai.
 

Chennai! Here I am!

I landed in Chennai about eight pm. By the time I went through the immigration and reached the arrival hall, it was about nine pm. I saw so many people standing at every inch of the fence, that I almost cried. How was I going to identify the person who was going to pick me up? Knowing that my observation skills were virtually absent, I wondered how on earth was I going to look for the person who held the placard. Besides, I had the habit of only seeing what I wanted to see. If I didn't know who or what to see, I would certainly miss it. After about ten minutes, I still couldn't spot the person.

 

"Oh no!" My left brain suggests "I should probably have asked for the picture of that person who was going to pick me up."

 

"Oh.. " My right brain replies, "Nobody does that! It'd be embarassing!"

 

Ok.. fine... don't start quarrelling at this time of the day. So, I grab my phone from my pocket and start dialing the numbers given in the mail. Oops... it didn't go through. Oh wow... what am I going to do next? Just wait, I guess.

 

Sure enough, ten minutes later, I spot a young lady frantically waving at me. Then we ran and bumped into each other and embracing each other with the friendly, welcome hug and hand shakes, like long - lost friends, even though it's the first time we're meeting each other.

 

Then she hurries me into a car and we speed off into the night. The very friendly lady eagerly asks me a series of questions, all of which I reply with equal speed. Hmm... doing quite good for the first night in Chennai!

 

Along the way, there were so many tolls and speed breakers, that I think it would have taken forever. "Wow.. the hotel does seem far from the airport, even though it seemed near on Google map." Then again, distance is a concept of relativity. So, I just enjoyed the ride and the streets, with people bustling around every corner of the dimly lit shops, eating, drinking, talking, laughing... wow! This is something I'd never see in Dubai.

 

Nope... in Dubai, from the roads, you'd only see tall buildings and cars. No little shops like these with people in them. If you want to see people, you got to step into those tall, fancy buildings. And every time you step into a restaurant, if you snoop around the dining tables, most people seem to be meeting each other for the first time, asking questions like, "How long have you been here?", "What do you do during your free time?", explaining about themselves and their countries. After a while, it gets a little un-nerving and sometimes I wish I could conduct a normal conversation without going through the same, old questions.

An hour later, we finally arrived at the hotel! Yes! As soon as I had the room to myself, I could hear lizards clicking their tongues, frogs croaking, mosquitoes buzzing, air-cond rumbling away. Back to nature! Ahhh.. just like Tanzania! Sixty minutes later, electricity supply stops and the generator starts up. Ooooh... yes! the power supply is back. And so it went on for a few times, on, off, on, off... After a few cycles, I was sound asleep.

 

First Impression: Delicious Indian Delicacies!

The next morning, I woke up to the cheery chirping of birds! Ahhh!! How sweet the sound!

 

I step out of one of those little chalets only to find bougainvilleas, morning glories, waving coconut trees and hear the waves crashing onto the sands. Wow! I am really really here!! Who would have thought my hosts were so generous to put me up in such a beautiful and wonderful hotel? My! oh my!

 

As soon as I reach the dining area, I am greeted by assorted curries, vade, idly, tossai, chappati, pratha, etc.. all of which I lap up eagerly as I didn't have my dinner the night before. Mmm! They were surprisingly delicious! My appetite for eating had returned.

 

Woah! I hadn't felt these pangs of hunger and desire for food since I arrived in Dubai a year ago. Most of the food in Dubai had been altered to cater for the international taste buds. But to taste authentic Indian food, with real spices and tantalizing colours and textures were so heavenly! My insatiable desire to taste every single dish at the buffet area heightened with each morsel I took.

 

Since I had only about two hours by the beach before the talk, I had to put a stop to this unstoppable quest for food. So, I gingerly polished the plate for a stroll along the beach, taking it all in - the breeze, the waves, the light, the sand...  Ahhh...

 

Lo and behold! Just as I am walking on the sands, I notice crabs crawling across the whole stretch of beach! Oh no.. I've been in Dubai for too long. I had almost forgotten that there are crabs and seashells on the beach!

 

I look up and see birds flying among the clouds. I look ahead and see squirrels climbing up trees and roofs. It suddenly occured to me that I hadn't seen animals in their natural habitat for a long time, except for pet cats and puppies which I see around the lake as I jog daily or as I go up and down the elevator.

 

Hmm... another sign for me to return to reality soon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post Impression: Warmth

After the event, I got to savour more Indian dishes for lunch! I seemed to be so hungry all the time while I was there. Was it due to the heat and high humidity? Was it because I talked too much? Was it because of the enthusiastic response and hyper-activity around me?

 

"I think it's because you're seated with a foodie!"  my new found friend explains. "A person who can distinguish between good food and bad food, food which cheers you up and lifts up your soul."

 

"Come!" she urges. "Try this! It's sweet!"

 

"And this!" as she takes a spoonful of white gravy with a round doughnut and offers to put it on my plate. "It's my favourite dish."

 

She introduces me to every dish at the buffet table with such passion that once again, I take a little of everything and start desiring more of each. And I thought vegetarian dishes were bland, like salad. Who knew that they would be so delicious?

 

After lunch, we took an extremely condensed three-hour tour to the Dhakshin Chitra Heritage centre, Marallapuram UNESCO Heritage Site and Shore Temple. At each place, we walked through as if somebody were chasing behind us, snapped pictures at every nook and corner we could find, and talked non-stop throughout the journey.

 

At the end of the day, my cheeks were as red as cherry tomatoes and pink as the rose, grinning like a happy kid who had just been on a school excursion. I had gifts, photos and another extended connection in a new part of the world. And of course, a mountain of tasks to bring back to Dubai too!

 

As I left Chennai that very night, I felt as if I've been re-energized in every way. Everybody here has been so warm, genuine and it certainly caught me off-guard. It blew my mind away and melted my stone-cold heart since I made Dubai my home.

 

Life is about balance. Everytime you gain something, you stand to lose something in return. We can't have everything in our hands. I realized that freedom, independence and monetary gain comes at a cost of losing quality and quantity time with my loved ones and the warmth of my beating heart.

 

The university may have thanked me for sharing my thoughts and experiences, but I have them all the more to thank for reminding me that giving all that you have and going all out to make things happen is what keeps hope alive and a reason to keep on living.

 

So, remember, remember... never lose your warmth as it is the essence of humanity.

 

Endless Pursuits

At a recent luncheon conversation with a seventy year old retiree who returned to the academic world, we talked about places that he had visited across the globe, from Alaska, to US, Europe, Africa and Asia. Perked by curiousity , I asked, "Out of so many places, which do you think is the best place to settle down?"

 

He peers at me through his bi-focal glasses, thinks for a while and answers, "You know, at the end of the day, when you're all old and wrinkled up like me, you'd still think that home, the place that you grew up in, is the best place to be."

 

Following which, he launched into a story-telling session, which I always love. So goes the story:

 

Once upon a time, there was a businessman who landed on an island. The villagers there were all fishermen, who fished in the night and rested in the day. They caught only what was sufficient for them to survive for three days up to a week. Fish was abundant, but they always only caught what was enough for themselves.

 

The businessman was confused. So, one day, he asked the fishermen, "Why don't you catch more fish?"

 

Baffled, the fishermen asked in return, "Why would we want to catch more fish?"

 

"To sell! To get more money of course!" replied the businessman.

 

The fisherment looked at each other and one asks, "And what would we do with all that money?"

 

"Well..." the businessman analyzes for them and explain enthusiastically, "You can use it to buy a bigger boat and catch more fish and sell it for more money in the city!'"

 

 "And what will we do after earning more money?"

 

"Ahh.. you could move to the city, stay in a bigger house."

 

"And what will we do once we move to the city?"

 

"You could earn even more money so you can buy bigger boats which could bring in more fish for you to sell and you'll get more, more money!"

 

"And what would we do with all that money?"

 

"Why?!" the businessman exclaims. "You can buy a nice house on an island where you spend the rest of your life in peace, leading a quiet and tranquil life."

 

"Ohh! Isn't that where we are living right now? So, why would we want to change our lifestyle?"

 

And all of them dispersed back to their own homes, living the same way that they had just as before.

 

As we scramble up career ladders and settle down into modern, sophisticated, metropolitan homes, we tend to forget that we can all survive with even the most basic and essential necessities - family, food and lodging.

That, is all we need.