First Anniversary!

When I first came to Dubai, I didn't know how long I'd last out here in the desert. Came here feeling forlorn, lost and abandoned. But in just a matter of twelve months, things have changed tremendously. Today, I am no longer the person I was before, dependent, clinging onto others, afraid of letting go. Instead, bit by bit, I have  begun to trust my own decisions, becoming more independent, discovering more about God, who I am, and the ways of the world. It is indeed a lot to celebrate. 

Not so long ago, I defined my sense of identity through my profession. If somebody removed me from my designation, I wouldn't know who I'd be. Can I assume another role, other than that of an engineer? Today, I found the answer. Yes, I can. I can be a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a blessing.  I am human after all. Not a working machine. We work to live, not live to work. Frankly, it took me a long time to get that into my perspective. 

No matter how we, as professionals, seek to be perfectionists when it comes to work quality and deliverability, we shouldn't do it at the expense of our families and colleagues. We have our own lives to lead, families to care for. Leave whatever happens at work in the office and resume resolving it the next time you're at work. 

I used to think that I was elastic. Work could pile up on my desk as tall as Mount Everest, and I wouldn't even be deterred. I held onto the 'çan-do' spirit, grit my teeth, bent all the way backwards, to finish everything up. Yet, stress is a silent killer. It steals into your life, like the termites, slowly acidizing your nerves, robbing away the nutrients, eating away at the roots of your hair. 

Since I came here, I have a much more balanced life. Learning to focus on my priorities. 

The thing called work? I will just juggle it along the way. 

Why I Love being in Dubai

People I encounter always ask me, "Do you like Dubai?"

My answer? 

"Of course! I love it!" without fail, every single time. 

Then, the next question would be 'Why?'. 

So, here I go, rattling replies like a bullet train at 200km/hr. 

#1: It has low population density

I love Dubai because it is a very calm and beautiful city. The population density is moderate, not like most Asian cities, where trains are packed like sardines. In Kuala Lumpur and Beijing, people are squeezed into trains, occupying 1sqft per person, standing or seated. On sunny days, the weather gets so hot that people faint on the spot. 

The lights are pretty dim in these stations. You'll see footprints, made by mud, rain and sand all over the floors, and sometimes even litter. Pickpockets are rampant that the train operators warn its passengers to watch out for their belongings and hide everything to avoid being targets.

In Dubai, there's no such thing. The train is so spacious. You don't have to fight for space. The metro station is bright and spotless. There are people patrolling between carriages to ensure its passengers obey the law. The best part? All of its stations are air-conditioned. Even if it might be scorching hot outside, inside-it feels like being in the mountains of Tibet, cool, fresh air. 

#2: It feels good... 

Almost everybody I meet here, love working in Dubai, from blue collar workers, white collar workers and collarless workers. Although for some, working and living conditions can be very bare and extremely rough, it's still much better in comparison with the condition in their home countries. Even the cleaners laugh gaily, singing as they sweep ceilings and polish floors. They smile and greet everyone. 

#3: It's spacious

Shopping complexes here are so huge that it takes an entire day to cover the whole mall. Some of it might even span across 2-3 villages in the suburbs. The worst part is, one has to love walking a lot to visit all the shops. The best part is, you don't knock into other people, step on their toes, or acccidentally kick their heels very much. The most wonderful part is, the receptionist at the information counter have a superb photographic memory of every store location. They give precise instructions on which left turn to take, and even describe the landmarks near to the stores you seek. You'll never get lost in the malls. Try asking for directions in Kuala Lumpur malls. You'll end up frustrated for speaking with monosyllable individuals. 

#4: It has amazing natural environments

Dubai (and the UAE), has one of the most awesome natural surroundings I've ever seen. Bare fjords, oasis among mountaintops, colourful marine life, carefree dolphins, winding channels between valleys, and of course, desert dunes! It's amazing! To appreciate it, you just got to dive into the seas, scale mountains and fly up in a hot air balloon to take in all the wonders of the world. Why! You can even try skydiving if you dare! 

#5: Freedom & Independence

To me, life in Dubai signifies freedom and independence. It is the path of freedom from financial debt, obligation and responsibility stress and multiple roles stress. Here, I live just for myself. I get to discover who I am, what I like, what I love, how I operate and why I do things the way I do. I am not influenced by the expectations of my bosses, my family, my friends. I develop my own personality, my likes and dislikes. I get to decorate my home according to my preference. I even get to practice my religion in the vicinity of my own home. For the first time, I am totally independent and not dependent on others to make me happy or determine my future. That, to me, is one of the most precious gifts of living in Dubai. The freedom and independence of living just for me, myself and I. I love it. 

#6: The presence of an international community

In Dubai, it's a melting pot of international cultures. Every time you pick a lot, you'll end up talking to a person from a country you've never heard of before. It's fun, It's exciting! It stimulates your senses all the time. It helps to expand my geographical knowledge and find out more about everybody living on hidden corners globally. 

There are many other reasons, on why I love living in Dubai. I'll continue to expand the list as the thought comes along. 

Well, if I could sum it all up to my beloved listeners, I'd say this, "Living in Dubai, is like getting a little taste of what it's like to be in heaven. Lacking nothing, having everything; living with people from all nations and tribes in peace and harmony."

Ahhh... What more could one ask for? 

Precaution & Friendship

So, here I am, exposed to all the wonderful sights of Dubai and I'm thinking, "Oh! It's so safe here!"

A friend lost her mobile at the supermarket and she got it back through the honest security guard. I lost my laptop at the beach and got it back with everything intact within two hours. Woah... it's amazing. Had it occurred anywhere else in the world, I would have lost all hope of ever finding my lost items and prepared to dig deep into my pocket to replace the lost items. 

It is for this very reason that led me to the belief that 'Dubai - is a safe place. Crime rate is low, robberies rarely occur. Some people even leave their doors unlocked at night, or do not even install alarms in their houses, even though they stay in double-storey houses. There's no need for hourly patrolling guards, or escort service in parking lots. 

Because it's seemingly safe, I tend to let my guard down unwittingly. Once, I was followed in a shopping mall. He walked up to me, a random stranger, as I was strolling along the shops, and asks me out for a meal together. I shrugged, refused, and delibrately browsed in other stores. He persisted and continued shadowing me.

Another time, I stepped into the lift and a guy tried to touch my cheek before he stepped out of the elevator. Few weeks later, a delivery boy delivered some stuff to my place, and invited himself into the vicinity of my living room. On another occasion, one of the delivery guys even stayed at the door of my apartment and tried to harass me! Mind you, on all these 'events', I wasn't even wearing provocative clothings. I was covered up from head to toe. 

Yet, I was too startled to tell it to anyone. It is a taboo subject. One day, I was hanging out at a friend's place and suddenly it all came out. Turns out, friends who have stayed in the UAE for more than four years, had even worse experiences! Some were flashed, some had crazy maniacs rushing up to them for a hug!

I shudder as I imagine it. 

So, I learnt a few more lessons.

1. Never let your guard down. If you really need the delivery guy to send it up to your doorstep, make sure he puts it on the floor outside your apartment. 

2. Never open the door far wide and let any guys (known/acquaintances/friends/strangers) into your apartment. You never know what might happen. If you need to pay the delivery guys, peer through the keyhole, open slightly and slip the money through. Don't give them any chance to take a step into your house. 

3. If, on any given day, a person attacks you, or steps into your comfort radius/niche, say the following, "Stop! If you take one more step closer, I'll call the police!" Then, dig into your handbag, grab that perfume/pepper spray and prepare to defend yourself. 

4. If you do get attacked, tell the police. Don't be afraid. You shouldn't let others experience the same tormenting treatment. 

A friend launched into a pep-talk one day as I recounted these awful encounters. "Jean!"she told me, "Hey, if ever you need  use phrase #3, don't be afraid. do u know why? çoz I have friends in high places in this country. Therefore, if I know people, you know people."

That was one of my best days ever. To know and be reassured that I had a strong network of support even though I'm all alone in this foreign land. I am the luckiest person in the whole wide world! 

Home, Hearth, Heart... Where is thou heart?

It's been exactly a year since I left Malaysia. It's not that long, not that short. Sufficient for me to get to know myself better but not long enough for me to travel all around the world. Yet, after 12 months, when I finally get to have my long awaited home passage, all I want to do is to go back to my real home, kick off my shoes, and rest on that nice, white, cushy sofa for 1 whole week! The last thing I want to do is trek around the globe, seeing new things, sights and sounds. After all, life in Dubai is like a working holiday! *Wink*

 

Once I've had my fair share of rest, I begin venturing out, meeting up with friends. At the end of every conversation, the following question will definitely creep up, and I begin anticipating it, so much so that I've prepared a script for it!

 

What's the million dollar question?

 

"So, do you plan to return to Malaysia after you complete your assignment?"

 

Geez... that is a pretty tough question. Considering that I learnt a mountain of living skills here, going back to work is the last thing on my mind. I must be insane if I answer 'Yes!'. After all, who would be willing to depart from this extremely comfortable lifestyle with many like-minded friends?

 

Yet, a patriot reminds me, "Never forget! You're a Malaysian. Here, is where you call home. At the end of the day, you will still want to rest in a place with your closest relatives and friends. The country is still developing. It needs your contribution."

 

That's true. So goes the old adage, ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. But shouldn't one venture out to learn about everything under the sun first, before being able to transfer the best knowledge and new technology back home?

 

A senior thinks I want to fly far, far away because of the pay that's triple or quadruple times of the home salary. "Money is not everything." he begins. "As you earn more, you spend more. Your become more spendrift, acquiring an expensive taste. Gradually, your monthly spendings increase and you'll need an even higher salary to maintain your lifestyle. You know what's important? Family. Ultimately, regardless of how much we laugh and cry, fight and make peace, they're our loved ones and close ones who will help us through thick and thin. We must look after them. If we don't, who will? Spending time with your family is more important than slaving away in a foreign country without being able to spend every single second with them. Whatsmore, your company is developing and grooming young people. This is your golden key. Hold onto it and never let it go."

 

Another senior chips in, "Yeah! Times are changing. The management is listening now. Nowhere else in the world can you find such a good boss. So, stay, k? Stay."

 

Once again, I am swayed to the right. What initially begin as a leftist thought strays heavily to the right, like a pendulum, swinging back and forth, keeping spectators in suspense. Will it stop on the left? or right? or right in the middle?

 

Who knows? Only time will tell. We'll all know the answer eventually. In the meantime, I'll enjoy and learn as much as I can. I won't let life stop while I weigh my decisions. Live in the present. Enjoy the moment. The time is now.

 

 

 

Reality Sets In

Out of the UAE, tell people you're working in Dubai and their eyes light up immediately. Depending on your audience, you can roughly guess their thoughts.

 

For businessmen and working adults, they'd think, "This person is rich! Will charge more for the tour/taxi ride/items."

 

For youngsters, they'd be thinking, "Wow! This aunty/uncle works so far away from home. I bet it must be exciting."

 

Tell it to a kid and it wouldn't mean anything. At most they'd say, "Yes! You're back! You can spend more time to play with me!" These young, innocent souls are just too glad to bask in your presence.

 

Well, having worked in Dubai for a year, all I can say is all that glitters is not gold. No doubt the pay may be higher than the salary back home, but people here face a lot of hardship too. Sometimes, I think it's all part of the package. In this world, we can't have everything. Sacrifices have to be made to gain more of something. You win some, you lose some. That's the way it is.

 

Perhaps you might be wondering, "If the money is good, what sort of hardships could there possibly be?"

 

There are just too many to be described here... but allow me to reveal a few to you.

 

First and foremost, is the cruel separation of families. Dads away from home for more than two years, missing their babies'first smile, first tooth, first walk; moms abandoning their kids to relatives or husbands in their home countries to provide for the family; husbands leaving wives to fend for themselves; wives leaving husbands in the name of career progression; children exploring and venturing into new territories, leaving the care of their parents into the hands of their sibblings...

 

Yes. We can always talk with each other on Skype. Yet, seeing and talking and being able to touch our loved ones physically beats just hearing their voices anytime. Humans are visual beings. We need to see, to feel, to hear for something to be real. Remove any one of those three elements and soon, reality fades into a memory. It scares the hell out of those who are new to these 'expatriate' assignments.

 

Next on the list is job insecurity. Recently, a friend who has worked here for almost a year, got fired and was made to leave the country within 3 days. Those who are more lucky get to stay in the country for extra thirty days to look for jobs, buy a ticket, etc before their visa gets terminated. Some of the employees here don't get paid at all, yet they need to stick with the job because they signed a contract. Some who are more fortunate, get paid partially every month, or receive their salaries depending on the company's financial situation. Sometimes they get it early of the month, sometimes in the middle, sometimes right up 'til the last day of the month.

 

For some who are their own bosses, they can't escape the heat too. Some get cheated by their partners and end up in prison for owing the banks. Some get employees who set up their own companies and steal the clients from underneath their noses.

 

If this doesn't sound bad enough, some employees lose their basic human rights too when they work for a new employer. Some work under temperatures exceeding 50 degrees Celsius more than 8 hours daily. Some get abused and are not granted any vacation for two years. Some have their passports hidden so they can't leave the country. Some are forced to commit crimes against their will...

 

Life is not a bed of roses when it comes to working overseas. It might sound grandoise, impressive and even invoking envy in the ears of listeners. But to protect our loved ones from the stark naked truth, we tell tall stories, stretch the truth, colour it and paint a nice beautiful picture to grant our family members inner peace of mind.

 

Deep down, knowing that our days here are numbered, we silently scheme to extend our stay here, beyond the contract period. There is too much at stake if we return to our own countries. Not all succeed though. When the time comes to leave, some are devastated and will exhaust all ways and means just to stay for one more year. Eventually, you'll meet expats who have survived retrenchments, pay cuts, firing and find out that one day, they've stayed here for more than ten years! It just goes to prove that no obstacle is too great that it cannot be overcome. With God's help, we will survive.

 

Just like the Turkish lamps, its beauty is derived from the broken, coloured, stained glass pieces with an illuminating candle in the middle. Our lives in Dubai, are just like that. Fragmented, yet colourful and bright. The best part is, we're accumulating stories and experiences so that we can bring it back home and inspire others to chase after their own personal dreams.

 

So, how does one keep on going in spite of the hardships?

 

After going through a series of interview, I finally made one conclusion. All survivors have only one goal - to earn as much as they can so that their families can lead better lives. In short, begin with the end in mind. Whatever happens in the middle, keep your goal in sight. Focus your eyes on the goal and you will never be diverted, discouraged or disheartened. Remember your prize.

Transformation

Before I came to Dubai , I was a tight wart. Maybe even tighter than that. I think I was more like a tightly wound up ball of spring. The moment somebody touches me, I yelp and curse and hurl words of abuse with evil intent.

"You are a monster! I don't even know who you are anymore!" my mum cried on the phone one day when I launched into one of my tirades yet again.

 

"Give me a break." I replied in my cold, mechanical voice (for you must temember , I was a working machine back then, worse off than a porcupine, for at least it still feels, lives and breathes).

 

"You're the one who's the ogre."  I retorted.

 

Believing that I was walking down the road to heaven, I took the highway and got lost somewhere along the way. I was destitute, desolate and desperately in need of help. I was on the verge of jumping off a cliff or jumping down from a roof. So what did I do? After exhausting all alternatives, I finally called out to God.

Guess what? He heard!

The next thing I knew, I landed in Dubai.

Ever seen a turtle and a monkey who has been kept in a cage since birth, and when you let it loose in the woods or beach, it gets confused and stunned for a moment? Then you urge them on, they turn back, take one last look at you, and once they start running and flying , there's no turning back. Ahhhh ... The taste of real freedom- who can fathom? Except for those who have had it.... The rest of the world who lives under oppression would never know what it's like to be truly free. Your imagination doesn't even bring you close to what you thought it'd be.

 

Coming to Dubai is the best thing that has happened to me so far. I love it so so much, every single minute of it. The environment, the place, the food, the transportation, the malls, the beaches, the fountains, the desert, you name it. I could write a whole book on why I love Dubai. The main reason? It's because of the people I meet who tone me physically and build me up emotionally. And I feel so so connected and in touch with everybody. I am secure and happy and perfectly comfortable in my own skin. I have finally found the place where I truly belong, a place where I am happy to call home.

 

There comes a time though, when we all have to leave Dubai. After all, we know this is just a temporary stop for all of us. But you know what? It doesn't matter if you'll be here for a year, three years or ten years. What matters is you make full use of your time while you're out here. Take the time to grow and connect and get to know everything you've ever wanted to know. Your mind will be blown away, severely out of proportion, by the things that you'll see and hear and experience. Live a fruitful life and love God and His creations with all your heart, your mind and your soul. God is here & He is real! Remember that!

 

When you emerge out of Dubai, you'll realize that you've been transformed, from a whitering rose into a blossoming peach tree! My my! You'll be a new creation altogether! Amazing! Now, who would have thought of that?